Have to leave my job

[TheFoundation]

I wonder if anybody can offer any wisdom? I have to leave my job. It's much too stressful, they keep changing systems all the time, the work load is massive, unpredictable, and always last minute. Others have left my organisation in a fit of pique, and others still have been fired (I think) for taking time off with stress. The culture is toxic. We really are expected to be available 24/7, because others in the organisation fail to schedule well, and everything ends up with 'URGENT' written on it before it even reaches me. We are frowned upon if we're not available to do urgent work on our days off. It gets worse constantly, and, finally, I've got to the stage where I've had to take time off myself, because I'm so stressed. My manager is too stressed to give me any support (although she's lovely, and I know she would if she could)

I need to leave. I'm not sure I can go back at all, and I'm meant to be in next week. What's the best thing for me to do? Should I take more time off sick and tell them I'm stressed? Tell them something else, like 'long COVID', or something? Can sick leave details be passed on to future employers who ask for a reference? I feel like just never going back, but I'm quite a responsible type, and I don't want to mess up my record. I've always been a really reliable employee until this place has pushed me to my absolute limits.

Has anybody been in the same position, and if so, what did you do? Any HR people who can advise what would be best? I really don't have any respect left for my employer. They don't have any for me. So I just need to know how best to get out unscathed.

Thanks

I would speak to union and trying to buy time by reducing work load etc and look for another job on the side

Can sick leave details be passed on to future employers who ask for a reference?

References can include factual details which are requested. Some prospective employers (nhs is one) will request a reference includes the number of days an employee has been off sick in past 12 months, some places it's 2 years.

Normally I’d say be honest about what’s making you ill and try to discuss support with the help of going through occupational health however are they m likely to change or support you? Expecting you to work on your days off doesn’t give the impression they will. I think I’d be looking for a new job.
in the meantime if you need time off sick take it- I would lie as you’ll need a certificate but work related stress and when they ask why… have a list of examples

Saw theatre lights 27th Jan 23 for a back condition that needed to be stopped in its progression. (I had delightful mumnetters who just couldn’t shut their opinions first week of January 23) unsure where the mental health concern went but it wasn’t apparent on this site then.

Been successful in three job applications, at least two references taken and no one has ever asked for any more info. The problem has already been why haven’t hasn’t any earlier reference replied; ‘presumably because there has been a more recent employer) like I say never had an employer query time off (sat in a UK hospital for example with proof) as I’ve declared it 100% (something mumsnetters struggle with) why would I hide as if employers genuinely don’t understand they are not worth working for.

@Whatyoutalkingabouteh

I would lie as you’ll need a certificate but work related stress and when they ask why

Sorry, can you explain this please? Do you mean 'I wouldn't lie'? Otherwise, what would I give examples of?

You're right, they won't change. I've heard them scoff about people who have gone off sick with stress before, they're a really unpleasant lot.

Gah sorry meant I wouldn’t lie! Need to check my typing.
as much as you SHOULD be able to give feedback/raise concerns informally and if nothing resolved raise a grievance- you have a right to do this but whether your employer is decent and takes these on board is another thing and ultimately a new job might make you happier.
i would def say something to Occ health as it’s then on record…

Thanks for clarifying, @Whatyoutalkingabouteh . I'm definitely leaving. I'm applying for new jobs already, I just don't want to mess up my chances by saying the wrong thing now, and being honest with a company who doesn't care about respect anyway. I'm worried I'll shoot myself in the foot. I've given up all hope of them listening to me at all, or caring about how much stress I'm under.

I think one of my colleagues voiced her stress a couple of years ago, and she suddenly just 'didn't work for us' anymore. I know she won't have quit, or at least it's really unlikely. I think they just fire people on the spot, it's horrible.