Quitting job with no direction

[ivycastle]

Been off work for a couple of months due to stress (related to 3 years of ongoing fertility treatments). My mental health is wrecked.

My job is stressful, been at the organisation for years, but moved into management last year and I haven't really been enjoying it. I'm good at managing tasks, finances, stakeholder relationships etc but I find the staff management very difficult and there are some strong personalities in my team. It doesn't help that I used to be on the same level as one of them and am younger than her so she's never really accepted me as her manager.

I just wasn't coping with the fertility treatment alongside this. So I'm currently signed off.

My DH earns a good amount of money - we're not rich, but we could definitely get by OK on his income, at least for a short time. He's said he is happy to support me financially for a while if I want to just stop working for a while and reflect on what I want to do with the rest of my career.

Taking this break would be great for my mental health and wellbeing and maybe help me to refocus and work out what's important to me, but it feels horribly indulgent. I have a passion hobby and I would do a lot of that during the time off, maybe even look at making it into a career but I am just unsure how or whether it's what I really want. Truth is I really don't know what I want from my career, and not knowing whether we'll ever have a child is making these decisions even more difficult.

I'm in my mid-30's and worried that if I go off work and then don't have a child, I just won't know what to do with my life, and it might be very difficult if I try to get back into work after a substantial break.

Has anyone done similar to this - having time out just for a break/ relfecting on life and their career etc? How did it go? Would you recommend it? I don't want to make a hasty decision due to stress but thinking about returning to this job is filling me with dread and anxiety.

Stress may be affecting your ability to conceive. It might be worth taking the career break

Can you ask work for an unpaid sabbatical? Could give you time to have a break and headspace to work out what you want to do with the reassurance of having a job to go back to if needed? Where I work you become “eligible” to apply/ask for a sabbatical after 5 years.

Would moving to be in the type of role you had before be possible (I.e. without the people management responsibilities)? Either within your existing organisation or as a fresh start somewhere new?

My concern would be the barriers to re-entering the workforce if you leave employment entirely. For me, I would want to explore options to continue employment in some capacity (but I am quite risk averse).

I'm sorry you've been having such a hellish time.

I did it. After I found my exh was having an affair with a good friend of mine. I had just started a new and stressful job and was en route to failing my probation due to the distress of it all. So I left by mutual consent and took 6 months out-and it was the best thing I could have done at the time.

I know someone who did similar. The child didn't happen sadly and she came back after a while. I don't think the break did her harm career wise as she was a valued team member.

I quit my job and it was a hard decision but I needed a break from that stress. Maybe having a break helps with your fertility journey and you can concentrate on your self care. your husband is supportive of this so you are in a good position to give it a shot. Maybe it opens doors that will help you find happiness.

I did this and quit my job for over a year with nothing lined up. Absolutely hated my old job and felt sick going there everyday.

Completely change careers but within the same industry and much happier with better pay & work conditions. Do it OP. A year off won’t affect your chances of finding work. Life is too short to be miserable.