Do you wish you’d been more ambitious or less?

[MagicJigsaw]

I’m in my mid to late twenties and currently work as a lawyer. I’m at a bit of a crossroads as I’m not sure whether to carry on with law with all the long hours and stress that entails, or do something a bit less intense / more family-friendly.

I’d love to hear from some older / more experienced people who are a bit further along in their careers how you feel about work now. Do you wish you’d spent less time at work and more time with your kids doing the things that really matter? Or do you wish you’d been a bit more ambitious and high-flying? I would’ve thought most people would be in the former camp, but I recently spoke to an old colleague who basically said she took a step back in her career to support DH and the kids and regrets it a bit. Please do share your wisdom with me!

I'm not sure.

I spent my 20s travelling and would never in a million years change a thing.

I have a job I love now. It pays well and potential to go higher if I choose. But equally I'm not super rich.

I've always wanted to maximise my youth (maybe instinctively picking up that I might not live to be old old? I don't know) so I've tried to live in the now and enjoy my youth and money (with savings in the back pocket). That's always what's made sense to me.

I'd say work is definitely overrated (unless you've found something you love). Better to be a bit more frugal and enjoy your life.

I’m pleased I was ambitious through my 20s, it’s got me a good salary and secure job in my early 30s and now expecting baby I feel I can take my foot off the pedal a bit whilst they’re young because I’ve got myself to a good place

I worked in a corporate environment then set up my own business at age 30. Today I earn very, very well, I am surrounded by an amazing team, and have a fantastic, indulgent life. No kids by choice. I am ambitious and love planning and executing new projects. No regrets here.

I do think you're right to be asking this question OP. When you are TTC or have young DC there's a lot of narrative around "you'll never get these years back", "no one is on their death bed saying I wish I'd worked harder" etc, and that's true to some extent. But equally, it's really easy to find yourself at age 45, with 20+ working years ahead of you, teen DC who don't need you around in the way that they used to, and you're in a boring unfulfilling job with little prospect of change as you have no recent relevant skills or experience.

I’m glad I’ve been both.

Until kids I worked very hard and went up the ladder.

Im now paid and respected enough that I can coast for a few years while still earning a lot and doing an interesting job.

Im on mat leave with no2 right now, and once they’re both at/near school age I will probably consider another big step up.

DH is doing similar which is key.

I also opted for adventure in my 20s and as a result I’m never going to be financially well off. Would life be easier now if I’d been more ambitious? Who knows.

I had those adventures at the right time in my life. I wouldn’t do them now and I wouldn’t exchange the memories for anything. It’s hard to have security and live life to the fullest.

I worked my arse off in the early days to get as high as I could on the ladder. It wasn’t really a plan to do that, but I loved my work, and before kids there wasn’t anything pulling me in the other direction. When my kids started school I jumped off the ladder, and I have never regretted that. Someone said how wise I’d been to wait for kids before I was at the top of my career, because it’s much easier to get back in after a career break. I can see why that might be a thing, especially in my profession. But that’s not why I did it, my priorities just shifted. And I don’t know if it’s true because I haven’t tried to get back on the ladder yet, I’m enjoying what I’m doing now (similar area, less hours, less pressure, less money but plenty of time with my kids).