What if you really hate working from home?

[CallMeDiaz]

I need to find a new job. I work in marketing and have mostly worked either in an office or hybrid.

Thing is...the industry has changed so much in the last few years, and most jobs are remote. I can't do it. Mentally I think it would be really bad for me, and I find it hard to stay motivated.

It doesn't help that in my last few roles I've made incredibly close friends who I am going to miss a lot, and I worry I'll never have great work friends ever again if I sit in my own kitchen for, what, years on end?

Any local marketing job is with a small agency and way below my current salary and I can't afford to take a drop of, say, 10k.

What the hell do you do when you know that working from home isn't for you?

Not really, kids in the local school, one has additional needs and wouldn't cope with the change.

I absolutely loathe WFH - I had to move jobs. But I was lucky enough that it came with a decent payrise as well.

I need the stimulation of being around people, I struggle reading people over Teams, and my mental health deteriorated massively over covid

I absolutely despise working from home. Hate hate hate it. It’s not for everyone but unfortunately seems to be the norm now.

Funny how the working world has shifted so much in just a few years. The marketplace feels much more combative too; if anyone in the country or the world can apply for any job then it's gloves off time. At least when geography was a factor there was a natural ceiling on applicant numbers! It really messes with my confidence.

OP how much have you actually tried working from home? I flipping love it, get all my jobs done and can fit a work out in before work, free evenings to cook nice dinners or do other things. Flexibility to go to the doctors/pharmacy/nip to the shops etc.

I do have a home office though - I can see it would be miserable from your kitchen. Can you not put a workspace in your garden or something?

For years I did 3/2 hybrid and loved it! But haven't done it much since Covid. I'm doing it one day a week through the summer holidays and fucking hate it.

I'll have to get a desk in my dining room. The thought of sitting in there all day alone...it honestly makes me close to tears thinking about it.

Maybe I actually should stick in my current job until I find something worth the move; at least it's office based and I have a few very close friends there who I really love.

This isn't the thread for me, because I've worked from home or hybrid for years (before and during covid) and bloody love it. Balancing home and work life is much easier with no commute, when I was a single parent I was still able to build my career, etc. I'm in a hybrid role at the moment but the team is scattered anyway so I'm on Teams calls regardless of my location, and barely see people f2f.

Whilst I understand some of the arguments for office working, I prefer remote or hybrid myself. I don't think we'll go back to fully office based as a society, I think the flexibility is here to stay - when I was job hunting earlier this year, hybrid roles were in the majority, but I imagine it varies by profession.

No you're right, it would be the sensible thing for my home life! At the moment there's little balance, and it's ultimately pretty selfish of me to cling on to a job that takes me away from home for 12/13 hours a day.

It's a complicated situation.

I get it honestly. People can say "oh yeah but have you TRIED it?!?" as much as they want but in the end some people just don't like WFH. I do hybrid, but more in the office than not by a good margin.

I hate the lack of interaction, I hate having to schedule meetings so that no one else is in the house (security issues and older teens), I hate being cold as I can't afford to heat the whole house. I hate people who don't understand that it's possible to hate it when you have to use the kitchen table and then kids home from school, it's their home not my office, I hate people telling me that clearly I'm not doing it properly if I hate WFH and I hate people being smug about the fact that obviously they don't have friends at work, and have a perfectly fulfilling social life outside or work.

I was suicidal during covid and being in the house all the time just makes me panicky now.

Oh my god same to everything you said!

The idea of learning a new job from home is a completely different prospect as well. Lots of people who love it started their roles in an office so it was much easier to just do that from home. If they had to learn a new role from home, they may feel differently.

Yes that's a worry too. But for me it's mostly about building relationships; I have always found my closest friends at work, and I think if I start working from home at age 42...that'll never really happen again, and it makes me sad.

I loathe it. Also in marketing, and thrive on being with team. We all have lunch together most days, and it’s a big part of the day. The odd day at home to get my head down on a big project is fine, but is still get all fidgety.

it’s so boring, and quiet, and there is laundry to sort and floors to mop. I like getting properly dressed and leaving the house.

Same. I've lost loads of weight in the last few years and finally really enjoy clothes! The thought of going back to jeans, jumpers to stay warm in a freezing house, and leisure wear is...not great.

As a previous poster has said, you suck it up I guess (or change your industry).
I sucked up 15 years of dragging myself to the office 5 days a week.
It's nice if you can find a balance somehow though. I worked from home, full time for 5 years, and applied for a new role purely because it's hybrid. I work very effectively from home, but I enjoy the buzz of a day or two in the office each week.
I like a little bit (not too much) of the old school ways of working that I'm used to - in person meetings and workshops, quick chats in the kitchen, and sitting next to someone at their desk to talk them through something - even though it can all be done just as well remotely.
However, I'd rather die than give up the hybrid model and go back to full time office working again!

There are definitely strong feelings on both sides of the camp! I agree with PP who say don't rule roles out just because they specify fully remote. They probably think it's what people want, but that doesn't mean they wouldn't be happy for you to be in the office. I hope you find something suitable!

Most places would allow you to come to the office every day if you want to.

Yes but I don't live close enough to any major cities to do that.

I feel for you. How much do you need a new job? You sound like you like the set up? Could your current situation be improved?

i started a job in a ‘hybrid’ set up which it turns out is a meeting in office once a month then working at home/ in offixe (but not necessarily any colleagues because desk booking system). I have to say it’s been tough. I hate speaking to clients in my living room. I have felt unsupported, ignored and for the first time in 20 years I feel incompetent. I think it’s been really easy to ignore new starters while they’re working from home. The people that enjoy it are the ones who have been there for years, know people etc.

One benefit is a lunchtime swim that I do but again I just go there, don’t talk to anyone etc….. it’s a pretty lonely existence. My kids are primary school age and I do live with my husband who seems to think it’s all a doss.

I will say I got a gut feeling of this place being bad when they offered me the job/ interviewed but for some reason I still accepted it.

I really feel for you. I HATED working from home during lockdowns. I don’t want to live my life having wall-to-wall Zoom meetings and so little real human interaction. I find it so depressing.

I guess you have a few options.

1. Keep looking for hybrid or office-based job options.
2. Consider a move to another field that uses your skills but has more hybrid or office-based job options.
3. Try to make changes to your home working life that make it work better for you.

No magic bullet,I guess! But you’re not alone.

At my job, you can do either. You can book a desk at the office or work from home.