Girding my loins

[Angelik]

Work in academic environment. Two recent cases of inappropriate behaviour at work events or social gatherings after work both involving alcohol. One person been put on gardening leave, other bring investigated.

I wanted a summer party - low key 3-7pm. Couple of senior ppl said no alcohol. I saw the point and complied. I advised senior ppl and HoD that we shld tell ppl. No response. HoD doesn't even come (lots of form for this) So party arrived ppl turn up, realise no booze and leave. About 10 us stay and actually have a really good time!

My gripes are (i) this is going to be pinned on me (ii) why is booze a deal breaker?

Advice pls: shall I organise more regular, casual get togethers (still no booze though - we will be scrutinised given circs) and plough on through hoping ppl will see value in socialising?

Not much of a party with no booze! Was there food etc?

Bit shit that two people have spoiled it for everyone else!

Also why do people "have" to socialise?

Yes to food. You're right people don't have to socialise. But 60 said yes but half bothered. Tbh not even sure there was 60 in the building.

I'm trying to strike the balance of with and without booze. A diverse community where maybe 25% don't want to/can't drink (some can't be in presence of/handle alcohol).

Maybe I shld do less official but more frequent. Once other person has been investigated we can re-introduce alcohol but very limited. I guess I'll have to suck up the moaning and keep trying to be positive. Just a shame that booze is a deal breaker!

The booze may not have been the deal breaker for all.

Many people feel they have to say yea to work events and then just don’t go. In my first year in my job the MDs PA kept trying to get me to agree to go to our Christmas do. It was really awkward. Loads of people said yes for an easy life.

Theres always going to be a large drop out for these things.

Also, some people like to have a drink when socialising. There’s a thread at the moment where op wishes her dh likes drinking wine. She felt she couldn’t have a glass of wine alone and didn’t want to waste a bottle by opening it and having one glass.

Loads of people agreeing they prefer socialising or relaxing with alcohol. Some people don’t.

I rarely drink. But if some people want a drink while they socialise then they do. To be honest, some food and socialising m, no booze sound alike the buffet we have in our common area on the last day before Christmas. Not sure I would stay late for it, but it’s nice.

I think it's fine to have work-organised events with alcohol as long as you also do other things not centred around drinking.

Maybe the prevalence of inappropriate behaviour has put people off! I and a few others at work no longer attended work related events because of various "incidents".