How do I come across well at interviews when I've been a housewife for a long time

[Sunshine543]

I have lost all of my confidence. I'm 40 years old and have only ever had one job, I worked for a gas/elec company for 12 years and then we were all made redundant. I then had my children and have been a housewife for coming up to 10 years now but I need to think about returning to work.
I have zero interview experience, noone to provide me with references as my previous workplace is no longer there, I have also lost all my confidence in myself.
I am not good with computers but intend to take a course first so that should help. But how do I answer questions where they want examples of different situations? I can hardly even remember my working life as it was pre kids, feels like a lifetime ago.
I do have an education up to a university degree but I have never used it . Help!

Can you do some agency/temporary work ?

Some employers have a "recommend a friend scheme" do you have a friend who can introduce you to a company ?

I interview people a lot.

Be engaged, enthusiastic and honest. That plus a degree is a great package.

Look for companies that have diversity and inclusion goals for themselves- they are more likely to have HR and hiring managers who have received training and information about open minded interviewing and hiring. They'll be more mindful of unconscious bias and will be actively looking to hire someone with a less conventional work background.

What kind of role are you going for?

Have you done any volunteering, like organising things at school? I recently got a job after 10 years at home and used a few examples from being treasurer/chair of the parent council. You could use an example or two from your last job as well.
Also make sure you’re informed about current issues and developments in whatever area you’re planning to work in.
Doing a training course as you’ve mentioned will help too.
Good luck!

With references, just include a friend as a character reference.

Is there any professional group you've been engaged with while your children were small? Like a nursery or a hobby or sporting group you've known for years? They could provide a reference about your attitude, reliability, trustworthiness etc.

Don't just think about career references.

What kind of work are you looking for?
If you're doing a course before looking for jobs, do some volunteering alongside it.

Read up on interview questions and answers. You can watch interviews on YouTube too.

It will be office work /admin I'm hoping to do so will do courses around that
No I don't have any volunteering experience as tines has been taking up in caring roles of children and being a carer for my elderly father , but don't know if I could use that to give examples as don't want to appear that I have a lot of outside work commitments. I am returning to work due to marriage separation so need to find something quick

What have you done?

Don't try and say being a mum gives you transferable skills (it does but interviewers don't want to hear that) but you can definitely use things you've done outside of work.

In various job interviews, even though I'm working, I've used examples of things I've done outside of work where my current role didn't quite fit.

E.g. I did a presentation to toddler group to leaders about ways to maximise income and increase engagement of parents, as a voluntary things

I'm on the committee of my running club and have loads of example of overcoming situations with difficult people from that!

If you haven't been doing much, you need to get out and do it, but you probably have done more than you realise.

I agree with you it would be unwise to tell them you have a lot of caring commitments.

I'm sorry to hear about your marriage separation.

I think, honestly, you need to take small steps.

Firstly work out your availability to work & your financial requirements - what do you need to earn?

Secondly, what supports are available to you that might help you reskill? (I'm in Ireland so it's different but via local employment offices there are a range of supports for those returning to the workplace).

Thirdly, what is your university degree? Go back to that & see what type of additional training may make it a viable skill. Eg if it was humanities based, adult ed training or similar.

Finally, if you can, a reliable careers coach could be invaluable. They'll coach you re your CV, interview skills etc.

Employers will need to see a reason to employ you given such a gap & lack of recent experience but it's doable.

Good luck 💐

If it is competency based interviews They are going to ask about handling difficult situations/people/persuading people to do something they don't want/achievements etc google sone questions and have answers ready you could use maybe arrangements for your parents , negotiating carers or something. I used lots of examples from volunteering . Research the role and the company really well and if willing to learn new skills give couple of examples when you've successfully done this.
A lot of places it will be about fitting in to the team so enthusiasm and energy will go a long way.
For admin though you will be expected to have good comfortable computer skills even if not their system

What was your degree subject?

If you aren’t good with computers, office admin work doesn’t sound like a good fit! I’m pretty competent with computers but use my admin assistant to help me with the things I can’t do well - complicated excel sheets, really professional looking PowerPoints or when I can’t work out why the formatting in a document has gone skewiff. If you are a beginner yourself you wouldn’t be able to do any of that!

Have you considered retail which would have on the job training or care work given your recent caring experiences?

I also wouldn’t stress too much about being asked difficult competency based questions for an entry level job as that’s pretty unlikely to happen. You may be asked things like how you deal with conflict or stress but you can use examples from any part of your life to illustrate that.

How about doing some care work temporarily whilst you look for another job? That will make use of some of your recent experience, bring in immediate cash and them give you experience to talk about in job interviews.

You can start by taking a pride in your achievements as parent and homemaker. If you feel proud of this and do not belittle it in your own mind then you can put this across to the interview panel.
I had a 5 year career gap to care for our children and used to talk about the transferable skills I had learned during that time: patience, organisation (lots of that!!), empathy etc. ... and I would put this across with pride and no hint of apology.

In one job I was going to have to relate to teenagers and was asked how I might face that challenge. I simply said that watching mine grow and become individuals had been a joy and that I look on that phase of life in a positive way and relish the possibilities. So I used my parenting experience in a positive way. I got the jib!

Think of your homemaking in a positive way ... no-one is "just" a mother/father ... they are doing one of the most valuable jobs there can be.

I think it's great you're asking the question. IME a lot of people who have not worked for whatever reason think they can slot in as if they had. Work experience is vital and thinking parenting is akin to a work environment is misguided (unless as previous poster suggests it is in same area of kids)

I describe two interviewees. 1) used her transferable skills argument to try and show she could slot straight in 2) recognised her lack of work experience and described what she had done to obtain skills and experience (IT courses, volunteer work, secretary of a committee etc)

I'd have employed 2 but not 1.

In real life I employed 3 because they had experience and that's what I needed. So my caveat to this is don't be disheartened....it won't be personal...just a better candidate and happens to everyone.

(Number 2 rang me post interview and asked the same question you are asking now.....I was frank with them and if I'd had another job would have offered it to them because they demonstrated willingness to learn. I also told them to focus less on the negatives and find more positives in their statement. Own the lack of experience once then talk about what you've done to rectify it)

Honestly, you have to be really careful with this. Chances are the interviewer has kids or has a wife who works, and you run the risk of implying working mums lack empathy and organization (not to mention that by working, they're failing to fully do "one of the most valuable jobs there is"!)

As an interviewer I’d say the advice above is very good ‘Be engaged, enthusiastic and honest. That plus a degree is a great package. ‘

getting Some admin IT training if you need a refresher.

We are a small office based team and employ based on values…will someone fit in basically. Show times you’ve taken initiative and also how you engage with people.

our last 2 employees came into permanent roles through temping with us.

Your biggest obstacle here is your confidence-not your skills. Have you been to the job centre and talked to a work coach?

There is a lot of free training things online from the goverment for returners. You can teach yourself via youtube to do think like attach documents to emails. Basic spreadsheets etc too. Or you kids can teach you.

Navigating the nhs and a decline in health for an elderly vulnerable person takes persistence, organisation, lateral thinking, note taking. Reminders for their prescriptions appointments. Problem solving to adapt things to their needs around the home. Practical skills.

There is a lot to draw upon.

I agree. You're being interviewed by people who manage to work alongside family life and possibly carry some guilt around that. They don't want to hear that you're brilliant because you've made different choices to them.

I see a lot of applications from people who think their SEN children is a positive. Obviously we all get that it's very hard and it probably does mean you can manage things others can't, but sadly it's not going to make anyone an attractive candidate - employers will just see lots of time off. Other caring responsibilities are the same.

I do not see it as any different from talking about transferable skills that you have acquired in paid employment. Stating what you have learned from either does not imply that someone else does not have those skills! That makes no sense at all.

If the OP talks about her parenting years in a positive way and makes it clear that she has thought though what she has learned from that, this can only be an asset at interview. I certainly found it so - never had any difficulty getting a job.

It does not mean she is implying that those who are not parents have not also acquired those skills!

With ref to a previous poster, I agree that expressing an interest in learning new skills is also important.

Above all the OP needs to be positive:

• about what she gained from her degree
• about what she has learned and the skills she has acquired as a parent
• about her willingness and indeed eagerness to learn new skills and take advantage of any CPD
• about how she is now ready and keen to have a job outside the home

Any negativity will be a stumbling block - "I have only been at home with the children up till now" is a very different statement from "I have enjoyed being with my children for the last X years and learned a great deal from this about myself and what I have to offer a workplace ; and I am keen to learn new skills."

Do not be apologetic OP!!

As a full time employee with three children, single mother, carer to alzheimer parent and disabled sister I wasn't as wowed by similar home experiences. To me they were home life not work life and quite different

You do not have to be "wowed" by it, but just think through the skills that you use in your caring roles and how these might be useful to an employer.

To be blunt... If you need to do basic courses on computer literacy, I don't think a computer based admin role is the right place to start.

I know it sounds horrible, but you're going to be compared against people who've grown up with this and don't need to even think when encountering something new; instinctively they just know what to do.

If you were telling me in an interview that you recently attended or plan to do some basic computer courses, I'd be thinking it'll be years before you're useful. Plus I'll probably end upwasting time showing you how to do preschool stuff such a look up or explaining a pivot table for the millionth time. Don't do it to yourself.

I'd be focusing on a more people orientated role where your skills of influencing and building relationships can be utilised.

Cross posted there... agree about do not be apologetic. I disagree about focus on home work being a transfererable skill - you really benefit from office type skills or something relevant to the role. A mechanic can't describe childcare as bringing transferable skills (extreme example)

Any negativity will be a stumbling block - "I have only been at home with the children up till now" is a very different statement from "I have enjoyed being with my children for the last X years and learned a great deal from this about myself and what I have to offer a workplace ; and I am keen to learn new skills.

Yes of course its better to come across as positive and confident, but being at home, on it's own, isn't going to persuade anyone to employ you and OP definitely needs to be careful about the whole "most important job in the world thing". The interviewer is probably doing or has done that job alongside paid FT work.

I am amazed at the negativity about parenting from Mumsnet!