Dealing with a difficult staff member

[belowtheline]

Hi all
I am hoping some wonderful people on here can give me some advice.

I have recently taken on a Team Lead role. I am responsible for over 20 staff. I find one senior staff member particularly difficult to manage and I think this person may have some narcissistic characteristics. They are very good at their job and very knowledgeable about the organisation so their work performance is not an issue.

My problem is trying to manage the behaviour. This person is very charming and able to pull in vulnerable members of staff and form their own little circle of which they are the centre. They are very opinionated and don't like other people to have ideas or ideas different from theirs. They hold power by withholding information and then look good as they seem to know all the answers. This person attempts to undermine me and decisions I have made. They are critical of me and talk about me to their closet ally in front of other team members. It is beginning to impact on the team and has potential to cause a great divide. I know some staff members are scared of this person and I have to admit I am as well. They hold a lot of power due to their senior position, knowledge, charisma, and tendency to criticise and belittle others.

Any ideas or tips on how to manage this? I don't care if they criticise me but I really want to eliminate the impact on the team.

They hold power by withholding information and then look good as they seem to know all the answers.

no advice but I feel for you. I’ve seen this over and over again in workplaces, and it’s such a manipulative tactic. Part of that “without me the whole place would fall apart” narrative.

Been there, suffered at the hands of these people but well done for seeing through it. Most managers don’t and just think they are fabulous.

tendency to criticise and belittle others. This is a form of bullying, especially if done without justification. And with all bullies you have to stand up to them and manage them with a firm hand. Make your expectations clear on what is acceptable.

Thank you both for your responses. Yes, I think this person is a bully but it is done so insidiously it is very hard to pinpoint. The criticism of others is often guised as “work performance” issues so it appears the staff member is ‘mentoring’. It is very hard to explain. I know some staff are left feeling very defeated after having their work critiqued by this person. Upper management seem to want to ignore the problem because they are a very high performer with amazing outputs.

As an older/more long-standing/senior member of staff does she perhaps feel undermined by you? Did she apply for your job and not get it ? - this has happened to me (as the older/more long-standing person). Whilst I was never unprofessional/immoral/unkind enough to take sides and "poison" collegues against her, I didn't find myself particularly ammeanable to be managed by someone considerably younger and less experience in the organisation/profession than me, who Lott trying to micromanage the excellent work I was doing (I'm not just saying that, it Ron a prestigious award).

Maybe look at the situation from her perspective. Putting aside her bullying behaviour, how much managing does she really need if she is delivering results? She's probably just p'edbifg that you're trying to rock her finely-balanced boat (what her her domestic affairs like? Does she have children, teens, sick partner, elderly parents etc to care for. At one point I had all of them - it was exhausting!)

The bullying behaviour definitely needs addressing, but I suspect it will stop if you are able to establish your line of command and communication. It sounds like a bit of "getting to know you" team build collaboration -together, in person and offsite - to start with. Even just lunch. Your relationship with her is critical - you need her to keep delivering, and you need her onside - but you need to build that collaboration slowly.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads
i’m definitely not a micromanager and I don’t need to manage this staff member’s outputs in any way. The problem is that the bullying behaviour impacts negatively on other team members and this does need to be addressed.

I agree that working in collaboration and relationship with the staff member is ideal but it’s a bit bloody difficult when they refuse to talk or have monosyllabic responses. And we do know each other - we have worked together for over 10 years.

Oh, I know this type so well!

It is very very difficult to deal with. Some random ideas:

Address their ability to 'self-manage' their emotions. Have a face to face before or at next appraisal and address head on that when they vent their frustrations to other staff members, that it has a corrosive effect on team working. Say you would much prefer if they communicated any concerns directly to you and then you can jointly consider the issue.

Get other staff to take on mentoring roles to weaken their power / status. It could be dressed up as mentoring / buddy / work shadowing to build resilience.

Ask them to provide a briefing document / work manual. Make sure everyone knows you have asked for this work to be done (in a George is so valued, I have asked them to prepare a manual to share their knowledge sort of thing). If they withhold information on it, then when they next pluck withheld knowledge to undermine you / look good, you can ask them why they didn't include it in the piece of work they had done.

Monosyllabic answers need to be addressed head on - ask for a meeting and address their communication style with you and ask directly if there is a problem that you need to address.

I think @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads raises some important points. Given this senior team member is proactive and has high quality outputs, have you discussed their career ambitions? Do you use a 9 box grid to aid career discussions?

In terms of the impression that they withhold information, can you model the behaviour you would like to see by being transparent, sharing information with the team where possible and arranging teach ins where people share their knowledge?

In what way have they been critical of you; holding different professional views about the approach to an issue or personally critical?

These sort of people are an absolute pain to deal with. Nigellawesome's advice is very good. You have to find ways to take the power away from them.

Role modelling behaviour won't work. They think they are the business, they don't want to be anything else.

I managed someone recently who withheld information as a power move. What I did was firstly to find other ways to get the information so I wasn't reliant on them. Then, as I more senior to them I made it clear there is some information I can't share because it is sensitive. Drove them mad.

Another one with narcissistic characteristics