Reported inappropriate language deemed now as too sensitive

[1234ideclareathumbwars]

Ok so I'm in a bad way with my job, it's very toxic place.

I'm a manager and there was some inappropriate things said to a female member of staff. Basic sue was kneeling down and this guy said while your down on your knees love. She reported it too me so I contacts HR. The lady didn't want to take it further so it was dropped but this guy says inappropriate stuff numerous times.

I've been told by other members of staff he was saying stuff about me but I've brushed it off.

Long story short a member of staff came to me and she he was saying stuff about me and others that was out of order.

I rang HR for advice and they asked me to get statements.

At the time I wasn't really bothered about the stuff about me. But this guy has been suspended pending investigation.

Now the manager who did the statements said the things he's been saying is disgusting.

Now he has back tracked saying people can be a bit overly sensitive.

Im not sure how to feel. I didn't want this to go to investigation but to ladies complaining about him again. Then now it has and they are deemed sensitive I'm not sure what to think.

Im Shocked HR can even deem some one too sensitive it feels like gas lighting.

I hate we're I work and I'm desperately trying to get a new job. It's badly effecting my mental health

If what was said is offensive it is offensive - being sensitive doesn't come into it. If the women (including yourself) wish to take this further, then you say so, and you make it clear that this is inappropriate, sexist and UNLAWFUL. Your employer has a duty to protect employees from harassment and inappropriate conduct. So you tell them that, and don't drop it.

If your employer doesn’t take appropriate action when they receive reports of sexual harassment (which the incident you mentioned would be classed as), the employer (the company) opens themselves to claims against them.

Hang on, I'm struggling to understand this. A number of females have made complains about inappropriate language from a male colleague, and HR have deemed the women 'too sensitive'? Is that right?!

*complaints

I don’t understand. It’s not surprising the arsehole guy says the women are too sensitive. Arsehole guys ALWAYS say that the people who find them objectionable are too sensitive.

Are you saying though, that HR agree with him?

I would respond that its not about whether the recievers of the comments are sensitive or not. Its about whether the conveyer of the comments is inappropriate or not.

And if they are inappropriate - and implying someone should perform a sexual act at work is absolutely inappropriate unless you are a sex worker or a porn start - then action should be taken.

Meanwhile I would be tempted, if HR was more than one person, to put in a complaint about the man deeming women "sensitive" for following the correct process for raising concerns about inappropriate behaviour.

A workplace isn't the place for those comments and it's time your manager was reminded of it and his legal responsibilities. It's not the 90s, the colleague that made those comments is not down the pub, and he's not out with his mates (not that sexual harrasment is OK in those situations either) he is at work and needs to learn how to behave in a respectful manner or he should be sacked.

Sorry I'm in a bit of a state and it doesn't make much sense.

I am a female manager. A member of my team was making inappropriate comments about me and to various other female members of staff.

It was reported to me but some didn't want to make statements so I couldn't take it any further.

Again two ladies came to me so I reported it and they made statements.

The male manager on same level of me took statements . When there was an investigation he then back tracked said not sure if it's just people being too overly sensitive

Now I feel like we're all making it up.

I feel so down with it all. I have job interviews next couple of weeks I pray I get a new job

Nah your Co manager has just realized he's made comments like that too. Escalate it to HR and preferably a female 'who gets it' if you can.

Wondering if this is the same man I worked with.

Female HR Manager and female company owner refused to act, saying it was normal in a male dominated industry. No, it isn't.

I eventually resigned and took them to a tribunal. They settled on the day they received the paperwork and gave me six months salary.

This

Have been in a similar situation with a guy - same one? I reported him to our dept manager - like you, I wasn't too bothered but other female staff were and I didn't think they were being overly sensitive at all, his comments were disgusting. The guy was a temp and subsequently got offered a permanent position - which I found surprising but I didn't get involved.
Not long after colleague approached me again and asked me to advocate for her - she had been sitting next to him and he had continued to make sexual comments and sexual jokes continuously and she was so upset and embarrassed. This time I went straight to HR who told me this was the first complaint they'd had - apparently my previous manager had decided we were all very silly for taking offense and hadn't done anything about it - lesson learned, things need to go in writing and you need to pursue it. My colleague was so distressed, it was horrible for her that she had to listen to his filthy nonsense. I'm not sure what happened in the end as I left - it was a toxic environment so it wasn't surprising that when something like this happened it was poorly dealt with.

How frustrating and tedious that women still have to put up with this antiquated behaviour from the Neanderthals- and what's worse is them getting offered a job when their attitudes are know about.

All you can do OP is report the verbatim facts and context and keep building up a body of knowledge in formal channels so they have such a weight of evidence they must act.

Thing is, individual sexist comments tend not to carry weight whereas a list of them looks very damning for an employer wanting to sweep it under the carpet rather than deal with it.

Is your male manager who said it’s “people being overly sensitive” in HR?
Or just a manager on your level.
Either way, I’d frankly extend my complaint to include him, as he is also clearly part of the misogynistic culture.

Keep strong op (though it’s obviously difficult when you have idiots like this Manager and the original one).

It’s awful this behaviour is still going on. But it needs to be called out.

And good luck with the interviews.

If people report things to you but then say they don’t want you to take it further- what was the reason for saying it then? What do they expect you to do with that information? They’ve said it so as a manager you can’t ignore it- too right he was suspended and being investigated!!