Career decision help!

[Shouldimove]

I could do with some outside perspectives on a career move that I've verbally accepted, I really struggle with change and big decisions, it's something I'm trying to work on but it's a challenge!

Ive been in my career for 12 years, I'm in the tech field and I've worked incredibly hard to build up a set of technical skills which I've been lucky have led to me being very employable. A few years ago, I decided to go back to university and I did masters to switch to a role that is related but different to my experience. I did really well, but I burnt myself out and became disillusioned with my career and started to reassess what my priorities in life were.

Eventually, I left for an easier but better much paid role in my old field. I had many judgements about myself for doing so. I told myself I'd failed in my career because I'd not pursued the new field further, because id given in to burnout. Because I wasn't senior or in leadership yet (12 yrs into my career). However in reality, I prioritised my mental health, have a salary I feel is fair and comfortable and I'm happier but less fulfilled in my day job (I know this isn't what I want to do long term so can't see my path to progressing).

Now, I've been in my new role for 6 months and an opportunity has come up. I would be back in my preferred field (the one I retrained in), in a senior position (for the first time) and slightly more money. It's for a huge global brand, and I believe that it could change my career completely as I'd be setting up a new team for this brand from scratch. I've verbally accepted the role but having a wobble.

I'm worried I don't have the drive for it right now. I want to be better mentally. I want to find some peace and overcome my issues, which I mask well but affect all aspects of my life. My current job gives me the space to do that.

My question is, what would you do? Would you take the opportunity or wait for when the timing is better? I've raised my concerns around the new role affecting my mh with the new team already (I know some may not think this is the best move but I'm an all cards on the table kinda person and I wanted to be honest). They were supportive and understanding and promised that they will do what they can to support me and ensure I'm not overwhelmed with the new responsibilities. Career wise, I know this is the right move but I'm scared of change and scared of destabilising my mh. Wwyd?

Thanks for reading sorry for the essay!

This sort of opportunity may not come up again. You have retrained and are obviously capable so go for it or you may regret it. Is there a possibility to drop a day or work from home if you find it tips the balance too much?

Thanks for replying 🙂. I will be able to work from home 3 days per week. I'm currently 100% home based (with the option to go in if I want but my team is fully remote). So I think having to go into an office 2 days per week will be good for me (get too comfortable at home, lose the ability to communicate f2f 😂).

If it helps, with my own MH issues, they tend to get a bit better when I am striving in something I really want to do, like some kind of task-led therapy. I also practice a specific type of mindfulness practice and do yoga and swim, and make sure I am in a baseline reasonably good place in terms of organisation and health, and not a complete muddle, before I take it on. But not to any level of perfect, as that's not the point. When I am bored and unfulfilled my MH tends to get worse. It can be a chicken and egg situation in part, is what I am saying.

So OP, if this sounds anything like you at all, go for it.

Also, note that many MH problems can be classed as a disability legally, so make sure you get assessed and get what you need to perform well in your role. MH mentoring in the workplace (from trained professionals, paid for by Access to Work), for example, as well as Reasonable Adjustments to working practices to help you manage your condition, are available. This can even include working (and being paid for) slightly fewer hours so you have the time to self-manage your problems, I recently found out that asking to arrange that - if you can afford to of course - can be a valid Reasonable Adjustment.

There are no such thing as a bed decision.
Life is about taking steps forward, stopping reassess changing course a little, going forward again.

Each decision made leads you to different paths and sometimes you need to take a leap of faith.

Take the job, what you describe as "not having the drive"; drive can be manic, it that quest for perfection that may have caused your MH issues. A more balanced approach might work wonders.

Well done you you obviously have worked out your triggers and have your coping strategies in place. Prioritising your MH in the past may have just led you to this great opportunity today.

Go for it!
You are stronger than you think
Do not be so hard on yourself
Perfection does not exist
Slowing down sometimes is OK

Thank you both for being so kind and insightful in your replies ❤️.

@BlockbusterVideoCard I'm exactly the same as you, staying stagnant really does affect my mental health. But I've wondered in recent years whether that is the issue (or one of them 😅) for me. In so far as I can't just be, I need to be achieving. I know this comes from a chaotic and academically driven upbringing (my dad was a 1st gen immigrant and refugee). But I'm telling myself perhaps thats what my lesson is here if I take the job. Grow my career, feel rewarded in that sense whilst learning to put myself first and learning balance.

@winelove thank you. You're absolutely right, no bad decisions, rationally I know this. But big life decisions send me into some crazy spin and almost put my in a childlike mindset. It's a big trigger but I've not worked out why yet. Your encouragement is so appreciated. You got me - I'm a perfectionist, how did you know 😁. X

I've decided to turn it down... I'm so grateful for the opportunity but where I am now is relatively stress free compared to all my previous roles and I'm not ready to reintroduce imposter syndrome and stress from work back in. For the first time in a long time I've been able to put my energy into myself and my personal life and that's been good for me.

I didn't give details earlier but we were planning to start ttc next year. I'm mid 30s. In the new role, I'd be starting a new team from scratch and it could mean waiting for another year or two to ttc whilst I establish that.

I'm still scared of ruining my career but I know that's very black and white of me.

Thanks for all your advice 🤗