Embarrassing meltdown at work

[Invisablewoman]

I’m mortified. Yesterday I had what I can only describe as a weeping episode at work - I openly cried at both HR and my senior manager. (separately).

I’m 47 and usually the consummate professional and just so so embarrassed.

I’m definitely peri menopausal and have been struggling with anxiety and a lack of self confidence. Work has been tricky as although I like my current role, it’s not something I want to do forever and managers have been quite negative about whether I can progress. So I applied for a role that I can do alongside my current job but it needs to be approved. I felt HR were stalling and strongly felt like I was being backed into a corner and just fell apart.

I then couldn’t stop crying for most of the day but at least I didn’t have any more meetings.

Would you think less of me if you were a senior person ?

If it’s a one off, no I wouldn’t think less of you at all. We are all human, we all have shit days. I’d be worried about you, though! I hope they’ve checked that you’re OK OP

No definitely not. If you had the, frequently then yes.

things just get to us sometimes and no one knows what’s going on in the background either.

I’m off today thankfully.

My senior manager was lovely and we ended up having a really positive conversation and made some plans to help me build confidence etc.

I just literally couldn’t stop the tears. I feel genuine panic about getting stuck in my current role that just boiled over.

For what it's worth, I would have suggested a one to one chat when you were feeling stronger, to see if we could formulate a plan to put to HR. But, for you to have been crying all day would concern me a lot.

It all boils down to how much your manager cares about your professional and personal wellbeing and whether he/she will support you in discussion with HR.

It sounds as though you had a horrible day.

Oh thank you - that’s very kind.

The all day crying hasn’t happened since I had a bit of a breakdown right before lockdown. That had a particular cause not related to work but I do recognise it as a sign I might need to do a bit of self care and possibly get some HRT! I really don’t want to go back on antidepressants.

I moved to this job during lockdown and don’t feel like I’ve ever really been able to build the strong relationships that really characterised my previous job. So I think I feel quite lonely/invisible anyway and the hormones exacerbated things.

Definitely go and see a GP with a focus on menopause, download the Balance app to track symptoms, and get yourself some HRT!

Yep I think It’s Time …🙄

I would also recommend getting your bloods checked, being deficient in B vitamins for example can make you feel more anxious and down.

That’s interesting - I was taking B Complex but stopped a few months ago. I’ll start taking it again.