Me married 25 years.
male coworker married 20 years +
Female coworker single divorced
public sector employees
Last year I reported a male co worker to our internal ethics board as they followed me home from work one time and sent me some inappropriate messages via messenger. Before the messages, in the course of my day to day job I would have to go to the office he worked in and would have a chat with him and also the other two people in the office (M&F). Just the usual niceties nothing remotely encouraging any kind of justification for the messages that followed. When I reported it I said I was ok with him being spoken to about his behaviour.
My job changed and we are still in the same building but I avoid him as much as possible, our paths cross maybe once every couple of weeks but we pretty much ignore each other. A woman from another office has come to work in my team to help colleagues with a new project, she’s in my department once a week for people to bring questions to.
The last couple of months he has been coming into my office for the lamest of reasons and always makes a beeline for her. She’s always saying how nice he is when he leaves, I say nothing. Then last week I was at another site for a meeting and when I was at lunch an old colleague that knows about my situation with him asked me if I knew he was having an affair with the woman.
I felt physically sick and the following day anonymously reported what I was told to the ethics board, but now I’m torn between whether I have done the right thing or not. I don’t know whether to leave it or see if I can withdraw the report. Why am I feeling guilty about his behaviour?