Is it possible to come to like your much hated job?

[EmmaDilemma5]

I've been in my job 5 months and I hate it. Utterly hate it.

I enjoy the tasks and the general work content but there's a distinct lack of support and I'm starting to feel constantly stressed. My boss is absent, his boss even more so. I have no direct colleagues apart from them, so work is 100% work, no fun. Lots of the job is new to me so I'm learning without any feeling of support and I just don't know how long I can do it for. I've been offered more responsibilities but I don't know how I feel about that in this environment. It could be a turning point in my career, which I think is why I'm sticking it out, but I really dislike it, more than any other job I've done before.

It feels like a poor fit for me. I miss having a laugh at work and feeling part of a team. I miss being able to enjoy my weekend without feeling dread and pressure. I'm struggling to keep up with part time hours.

To top it off, the salary isn't even that great. It's ok, but not enough to warrant the negative feelings it gives me.

Having said all of that, it's predominantly WFH which suits me well with young children who need taking to school etc and it's a professional part time role which isn't easy to come by in my line of work, so I get more time with my youngest. There's also probably good scope for career development, if I want it (not sure).

I don't even know if I want to stay in this type of work though, it's making me miserable.

Should I stick it out another 6 months? Has anyone else who hated a new job come to love it?

In this situation is there a possibility where you could get to the point where you don't need the support as you have learned so much you can do things yourself? You said you have been offered more responsibility so could you just get to the point you don't really need your manager? Maybe even move straight up to a supervisory position?

Thanks @FavouriteDogMug. Yes, I suspect, as with anything, if I do it for long enough, it'll feel less pressurised and easier, with less need for support.

I guess I'm feeling very overwhelmed and not sure I have it in me to see it out. I just feel so alone. My workload can be huge at times, and I could do with someone friendly to bounce ideas off. Instead I feel it's all on me and I'm drowning.

It yes, I guess the notion that it'll be easier one day is making me stick it out. As it works for me in some ways as probably will be good for my career.

Any tips on how to survive the next 6-12 months?!

I had the exact same situation, I could have written this word for word. I'm coming to the end of the contract now, but I decided to stick it out solely for the work life balance. I never started enjoying the job, I just decided to disconnect from it emotionally. I just do it for money and find fulfilment elsewhere.

If I didn't have young children I would had left and found something more enjoyable, but because this job meant I could be there for every drop off and pick up, which as you say is very hard to find with a professional job. I just think this is my lot for now. Maybe things will be different when the kids are older.

I totally get what you mean about preferring a team atmosphere though, I wfh and moved depts. New dept has a much more friendly atmosphere even though its all on teams still. No harm in looking around and see what jobs are about, but if you don't find something plan B is stay where you are and just wing it if the management is nowhere to be found.

@KittensSchmittens it's hard isn't it. Happiness is really high up on my priorities, especially when the kids are little. I was lucky enough to love my last place of work, I only left because the money was shocking.

So to go from being happy, never having the Sunday dread, and loving my colleagues to having no support and dreading every day at work feels like a huge backstep.

At the same time, the pay is around £15k more a year with room for increases and development.

As you say, it's a means to an end for now I suppose and once the kids are all in school, I'll hopefully have a lot more options. And who knows, I may even come to like the job....🥴

Any tips on how to survive the next 6-12 months?!

I think it's the same as when you're climbing a tall/steep hill - you hold the destination in mind but do NOT look up whilst climbing!

Just focus on each small step rather than gawping in horror at how far is left, (because that's what makes it feel unmanageable)... Then suddenly you're there.

@swanling that's really good advice, thank you.

Learning a new job WFH is really hard. I took on a new job WFH in 2020 and it took me much longer than it usually would to find my feet with it because it was harder to reach out to others for help etc. But I'm still here now and do actually enjoy it now finally.

Having said that, the job I did before that, I left after 2 years and TBH I should have left after 2 weeks. There were so many red flags but I ignored them cos it was convenient for the kids and childcare etc.

The big issue with your current job is that you're already struggling to stick with part time hours and they want you to do more. Can you really manage it?!

@Jogonmagpies hmm, I'm not sure is the honest answer. I think I'll become quicker and more efficient as I get more familiar with all of the work. But equally I do think it's a job that warrants full time.

But I'm not prepared to go full time so I suppose I realise it may mean I work more hours at times. Tricky really.

Years ago I was promoted (civil service) from a team job into a backroom job, with very little interaction with the the public or colleagues, both things I valued.

While I never grew to love that job, I did grow to appreciate the understanding of parts of the work of the Department I'd never come across before.

In my subsequent career, I came to rely on those skills I aquired.

So , why not take my experience As a short cut for you? Don't think so much about the bits you don't like,but but about the skills you are accruing, ready for your next move?

OP I am in exactly the situation! It’s actually quite strange reading your post as everything is identical.

I haven’t decided what to do yet. Yesterday I was feeling optimistic and that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay. But today I’m thinking I should try and find a new job…

How part time are you? I’m 80% (4 days) at the moment.

OP & @squirrelsareeverywhere how are you feeling about your jobs now? I’m also in a similar situation and finding it hard, hating how the stress of it is impacting my weekends.

I think the issues here are that the job role is possibly full time but you are trying to do this in part time hours. This is not uncommon and sadly something lots of working mums (mainly) have to juggle in order to balance work and family responsibilities. Would it be possible to have a conversation with your employer about this? Also learning a new role while WFH is really difficult so don't beat yourself up about finding this hard. It is sometimes better if new staff are in the workplace (if one exists) for the first few months while they find their feet.

It sounds like you are struggling with confidence and to adjust to a new role with new responsibilities. WFH with absent manager and no team around you will make that much harder. Can you find a mentor or coach either elsewhere in the same company or externally (even just a friend who is in a role of similar or higher seniority). Maybe put some of your salary increase towards coaching as an investment in your future career.

O my I could’ve written this. (Apart from not so healthy a pay jump). I’m a year in to a ‘hybrid’ job. Many parts of my job, working with clients are actually quite practical which really doesn’t translate to wfh. I also had a supervisor who has left and obviously was unhappy and an unboundaried boss who’d think nothing of texting for no reason on my non working days (despite offering soaring support on working days) It’s been very very tough.

I can honestly say it has got better- much better than it was 4 months in. I was losing sleep and an anxious mess etc . I prefer the actual job to my old job (where the team was very supportive) and the flexibility is great. But I really miss working with others.

tbh I think I soemtikes look back on the old job with rose tinted glasses. In reality I was overwhelmed by the amount of ‘peopling’ and I left for a reason (their lack of flexibility mainly).

I have said I’m giving my job til October then if I’m not feeling like it’s a good fit I am going to slowly job hunt. So yeah 4 months is early days. I dunno how long to
gove it. Sometimes I think I’ve given This job far too long already.

anyway good luck I hope it all gets better soon x

Well, I’ve spent the evening completing a job application so I think that probably says it all 😆

It’s ok, I’m coping but I don’t love the culture and I’m really annoyed at being expected to do a full time workload in part time hours.

I know it would make waves though if I left after less than a year and I don’t know if I’m brave enough. I guess I’ll see what comes out of this job application and go from there.

How’s everyone getting on? @EmmaDilemma5 did you make a decision?