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Figuring out next job while preparing for our first child through IVF

6 replies

fuzzmuffins · 19/06/2023 16:44

Hi all,

It would really be great to get the advice of parents and those who went through IVF whilst balancing their careers. I’ve always been a career focused person - however my company made me redundant recently and now I’m looking for my next role. In parallel my DH and I were going through fertility investigations and decided to go through IVF based on the doctor's recommendations. We will start the process in a few months, hopefully after I secure my next job.

Now, I feel that I’m at a crossroads in life. I hope for my next role to have a management and leadership position, including managing direct reports, as this was the trajectory I was on in my previous role. However, I do have a sense of guilt and fear that this would be a lot of responsibility to juggle, going through the IVF process, and then with a new child – plus the need to go on maternity leave less than 1 year into the job. For context, my DH and I are in a good financial position and can afford full-time child care no matter what direction I choose.

Questions:

Should I be conservative and focus on roles with less responsibility at established companies, so I can start a family and focus on our first child?

OR still aim for positions that fit my career goals, even consider smaller companies like startups, and sort out later how to balance work with the IVF process/childcare later on?

OP posts:
SquashPenguin · 19/06/2023 16:50

Do not put anything on hold for the sake of ivf. My 4th cycle has just failed this morning, I’ve been at this for years. At the beginning I always thought I better not arrange this and that ‘just in case’, but hindsight is a wonderful thing! If you are ambitious with your career goals, keep at it. Ivf builds a lot of resentment in so many ways, you don’t want to look back on it (regardless of the outcome) and think ‘I wish I’d done….’

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 19/06/2023 16:53

Couldn’t agree more with @SquashPenguin - it’s not a given, and don’t underestimate how much of your time, money, physical and emotional energy it will take. We now have a gorgeous 11 month old but it took 6 years, 6 cycles, numerous embryo transfers, multiple losses and HoD knows how many thousands of pounds.

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 19/06/2023 16:55

That should say ‘god knows how!’

I’ve been very lucky that my employer allowed me all the time off for appts etc but work will have to take a back seat for a bit whilst you’re in the thick of it.

fuzzmuffins · 21/06/2023 17:10

Really appreciate this feedback - I'll try to get the best role possible, and sort out the rest when the time comes!

OP posts:
TakeMe2Insanity · 21/06/2023 17:11

Whole heartedly agree with advice above don’t miss out on your life because of ivf, if anything do it all!

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 21/06/2023 22:09

@fuzzmuffins I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible for you but there’s almost no point in planning anything - carry on as much as possible and hopefully it’ll happen easily and quickly. Good luck x

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