Start a new job this week, how do I stop imposter syndrome wrecking it?

[Clarebear81]

I've posted before about the issues I had in my current job. I was only in it 3 months after being made redundant from a long-term job.

I struggled badly with imposter syndrome, daily my head was saying "I'm doing this wrong, I'll get found out here, I'm not good enough for this job" you get the idea, I had myself stressed out daily, granted the job rather the company wasn't the best but I had tortured myself, but the worst thing is when your head is saying that it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, you do end up making mistakes etc.

So managed to land a job with a family member, really don't want to cock that up or it goes back on them. How can I stop the imposter syndrome from kicking off again, its like I almost am trying too hard to impress or something

Ok, so when you notice you are talking to yourself like that, what do you do to interrupt it?

Those are thoughts. You can change your thoughts to something more balanced and encouraging, which will lead to you behaving in ways that are more constructive.

I suffer badly with Imposter Syndrome.

You need to find a way of controlling it, for me I take 5 and go "oh hello again, nice to see you". It sounds really stupid but it takes my mind off constantly criticising myself. I need to minimise the criticisms. Richard Branson apparently named his inner critic.

Yeah they’re all thoughts, ironically when I handed my notice in all lifted, the pressure was gone. It’s probably all just coming from nerves and lack of confidence in myself but with me seems to take ages to die down, I had some horrible weekends there worrying about something that say I did on a Friday right over the weekend and ruining it. Stress levels through the roof with worry and nothing ever came off it. When I handed in my notice they wanted me to stay and wondered if there was anything they could do to get me to stay, they were obviously happy with how I performed

Yes but how do you interrupt yourself? Or do you just feed the worry/ criticism spiral?

If your own voice is constantly putting you down, it makes sense you have low confidence.

How would you talk to someone whose confidence you wanted to build?

Can you do what you've been hired to do or is there some learning / upskilling required?
If you can do what's needed then write down 5 points about what you're good at and look at them daily / weekly until you build confidence.
If you need to learn a little then try and look at the opportunity in this. Adding and learning new skills is always great for progression and your CV.
Im in a job that I wasnt really equipped to do and didnt even want to ibterview but the headhunter convinced me. I read up like crazy before hand but was still unprepared. However, I relied heavily on the skills I know I ace at such as problem resolution, stakeholder management, getting stuff done which are also essential for my role. Im 10 months in and its just beginning to make sense. I have felt like you often. Remember its okay not to know everything.

I'm not sure if some positive affirmations daily would help but try not to become a self fulfilling prophecy and your anxiety get the best of you. I know that's easier to say than to practice.

You got this!

Autocorrect removed most of my punctuation 🤷🏿‍♀️

To be honest I don't even notice I am doing it until I begin to feel anxious as hell and by that stage its too late really.

Ok, so the first step is learning to notice it and when you do pause yourself to pay attention to what you're doing. Over time it will become easy to notice.

Then you start interrupting it. Eg weighing up the evidence and whether your thoughts are fact based or not. Are they helpful thoughts.

Keeping a worry diary for a while can help start the process. So every time you catch yourself thinking like this (or feeling anxious because you didn't notice), you write down when/where you were, what prompted it, what you were thinking, how that made you feel, how you reacted etc.

From there you can start addressing the thoughts before they prompt you to feel anxious and then self-sabotage in response to the anxiety.

You've got into a habit of thinking like this. If you want a different outcome you need to change that habit and consistently practise. Same as anything else you want to learn to do differently.

There are no instant magic fixes, but you absolutely can break this cycle.

Have you tried counselling? To break the negative thinking.