Do I need to leave my bonkers-demanding job?

[Singleparent78]

B/g - Senior mgr, 30 yrs exp, no issues with performance, won many awards, used to working long hours. Work in creative arts so resources always stretched, but used to it.

18 months ago my role was merged with that of another mgr.I absorbed their team with the promise of a reduction in work in both my existing and this new role, so it was manageable.

Work hasn't reduced at all and I'm effectively trying to do two jobs. I work on average 25 extra hours/week and am on my computer every evening and each Sat and Sun. It's a constant scramble to keep on top. More than that my family hate me and my children are neglected because of the 60 hrs/week of working).

I've tried everything to reduce the work by:

• identifying a list of what we can and can't do with directors (they disagree and won't sign up to it),
• saying firm no (I get grief and then the work comes back to me),
• requesting a review of the work (mgmt has delayed) and
• talking to HR (not helpful).

I am getting nowhere. The mgmt team believe it's possible for me to absorb the work of the FT staff member that left and seem blase about my long hours. I'm starting to feel like the mgmt think the problem is me (easy option) and not the expectation that I do two roles, which they've clearly now forgotten about as the merger of the two roles was 'in the past'.

I could talk to my union but I'm not sure it would matter.

Is it time for me to leave? The work itself is interesting in a coveted field but I'm not sure I can continue like this. Grateful for any advice.

Yes time to leave. You are effectively being managed out and if there's the slightest chance you're not, then they simply don't care about you. I've seen a few posts here recently and resonate with the saying "said nobody on their deathbed, I wish I'd worked more overtime". The more you do, the more they don't need someone else to do it.

I would certainly be looking to find out what else is out there. I have been in a similar situation, in an industry where (unpaid) overtime was very much the expectation , but to be fair the salary / bonus structure reflected that.
However, I felt as if they ‘owned’ me, and after repeatedly getting calls to jump on planes during weekends and holidays, I called it a day . Never regretted it.

Thx both! @Timeforchangeithink I have a good reputation where I am and they were happy for me to take on this role so I don't know if it's about managing out or just being obtuse - but it seems to have been a covert way to make me do double.

I think it's plain old exploitation. It's not a problem for them because you fix it. You absorb it. The moment you hand in your notice they'll either employ 2 replacements or offer 150% of your salary.

Sadly as long as the work is being done it your employers don't care about you or the impact on your life and family. It sounds like a cost saving strategy to merge two roles with you willing to work yourself silly to do it all. How about you actually stop doing all the extra work, no more working at weekends or outside of your contracted hours. Tell your employer and HR that you will no longer be doing any additional hours as it is impacting your health and your family. Sometimes it's not until things fall apart that people start to take notice.

If you’ve done all the obvious things, which you’ve listed, and they’re not listening and never will then the choice is really to either let things fail and fall through the cracks, or quit.

No one you can suggest they promote up? I assume you’ve tried this too.

Or - get signed off sick with stress and then that forces the conversation?

You've tried all the obvious things. Get signed off with stress for 2 weeks and use the time to sleep, see your kids and look for other jobs.

It doesn't sound like they're managing you out - to me at least. It sounds like they think you'll just put up with it.

I think at this stage, you need to put yourself first. I would be looking elsewhere. You only get one shot at life and you don't want to spend it all working and feeling unappreciated.

The trouble is they will return to an even bigger mountain of work.