Perfect Job - But Utterly Miserable!

[Veryconfused2021]

Hi everyone,

I'd love to hear people's opinions on my situation.

I have a perfect job; well paid, with my own office and a generous holiday allowance. I can come in at any time of the day and my boss doesn't notice. He just doesn't care about me or the 'boring' admin job I do, as he is always busy courting influential people.

But I have been getting increasingly depressed, to the point where I dread getting up every single morning. I can't bring myself to work, and sit at my desk moping for hours, only catching up when there is a deadline. Only two people come in to talk to me regularly, but they are not friends and I don't have much in common with them.

I know I am very good at my job, have a quick brain and could do really well - if only anyone was interested. There are no weekly meetings, no targets, nothing. All my colleagues complain about our boss, he makes us feel worthless.

Not sure if I'm depressed because of the perimenopause (I'm 47) or because my life is so empty. I lost a lot of friends during Covid so I don't enjoy the time off from work as much as I should, and now have lost interest in everything I used to love.

The only thing I know is that when I daydream about leaving my job, the depression lifts. But when I've approached agencies, they said frankly that they could never match what I have - the pay, own office and holidays.

I've thought about temping for five years. I get very interested in new workplaces and only get lazy after a few years. Has anyone temped long-term and it is reliable? I used to gamble a lot with my jobs when I was younger, changing until I found the prefect job, but at my age it's scary.

Thank you!

It sounds as though its not the job that's the issue but your social life. Another job may not make any difference. Your colleagues aren't there to be your friends. Try to join a gym or some other classes to make new friends.

I think your looking for your job to be your life. I'd try to separate out the 2. Like ok at joining clubs, taking up hobby/activities where you meet people and try to build a busy social life outside work.
Also look at getting help for your depression.

Once you've done that if you're still miserable then definitely time to look for another job.
Also do you need to earn what you do now? Could you afford to take a job with less money if you were part of a big, busy department?

Is the job itself boring or is it the particular office? I agree that you cant expect work to provide a social life/friends although if you're the sort of person who likes a 'buzzy' environment it doesn't sound right for you. Do you have enough to do? If not could you ask your boss if you could take on something else, something perhaps that would give you a more outward facing role?

Thanks for your advice. I know I should go to the gym (I've been paying the membership for months!). Maybe I'll join a class too and reassess the situation in a few months' time.

I asked my boss for more tasks but he was uninterested and made it clear I just need to do my job.

I've never needed that many friends and used to be happy with a side-hustle that I was really good at, but have lost interest in that too. I like to know I'm using my brain and at the moment I'm just bored to death.

ErmentrudeTheCow, unfortunately I can't take a paycut, which is a shame as I would love to change careers, but the jobs I'm looking at pay £400 less a month 😱