How do I move past this?

[Dancingqueen90]

I joined a company over a year ago as a dept lead. When I joined I was warned about one the people on my team. Let's call her Joy. She was known to be a difficult character and had been moved departments due to various issues. I was told she was good at what she does but she can be awkward.

After I joined it was clear she was terrible at the job and trained people up incorrectly. I could also see she bullied various members. She also was abusing various company resources.

I raised more than once through the company she needed performance managing. It took a few attempts to convince them and after a incident at work they agreed and were fully supportive. I would have dismissed her but the owners were against that.

Joy must have twigged as we are about to start the process she calls a HR meeting brings a letter attacking my character. Very personal. She then resigns. It was a really horrible experience.

HR and the company owners throughout the whole process were supportive and said they never addressed her issues etc.

They have offered Joy another job . Working for the owner. I found out second hand. They didn't tell me. When I found out via someone else, I was professional about it. When I raised how disappointed I was I didn't know their response, was they thought I was ok with it when they heard my response when I found out second hand (that person fed it back)

I am partly annoyed after everything, they have offered Joy a job but appreciate that it's outside of my control. I stings alot that they didn't tell me. They feel they didn't have to. I feel after the events leading up to her resigning it would have been courteous and respectful to do so. I am not sure I can do anything further with this.

This is where I am now stuck. I need to move past it but find it difficult. My CV doesn't lend itself to moving currently as I need the experience. It's taking up too much of my headspace.

Any advice?

@Dancingqueen90 trust me when I say Joy resigning was a blessing. Trying to performance manage her out would have been way more stressful. You have done well managing this situation, but now you need to move on.

You need to let go of the owner employing Joy in a job working for them. As long as Joy is not in your Dept and doesn’t have any need to interact with you or your Dept it is not your concern.

Joy resigned and the Owner chose to offer her a completely different job. I understand why you would like to have been told but it is none of your business and the details would be covered by GDPR.

My suggestion is to write down all your frustrations and emotions, the process of writing it out somehow clears it out of your mind. Then try to let it go. If you can’t stop dwelling on it, then look at whether a short course of counselling or CBT would help - it’s the lack of being able to discuss it and feel their was justice that is stopping you moving on.

From what you have written I suspect the Owner will find out exactly what Joy is like but that is their problem.

Thank you. Great advice! X

So update...and advise please.

Joy is swanning about in her new role telling all that will listen that she has new improved working conditions and a pay rise.

I over heard my team talking about how doesn't it always seem the people who behave like this get away with it.

So now one person in particular is behaving like Joy as she thinks she can get away with it. Not all the time, mainly when she can't get what she wants eg days off when we are light on staff cover.

I have just sent an email to HR to record it but I can't face doing this again. I think I need to ask the owners to talk to the staff but if I were them I think they would say they don't need to justify themselves.

I need to nip this behaviour in the bud.

What would you do?

Nip it in the bud . It sounds like your afraid of being disliked ? They are work colleagues not your friends. This other person acting up had seen this Joy character basically get away with murder and is testing boundaries. Nip it in the bud now .

I am not worried about not being liked but we do work in a small office so conflict is really felt.
They were already told yesterday about their behaviour so they know. I do address things that isn't the issue.
I am just surprised aged 40-50 woman (the whole team are woman) are so childish and it's draining.

So what is the issue ? Is it because they re employed Joy ? Are you concerned she's going to make trouble for you ?

It's unreasonable to ask the owners to speak with staff to explain how Joy got her job and increased benefits.

It's very reasonable to let HR know the repercussions of this situation

To nip it in the bud, you need to formalise the convo you had with the new piss-taker. Have a meeting and tell them notes are being taken. If the behaviour doesn't stop, then you'll have to take this further ie disciplinary. Tell them that's the last thing you want to do as you value their previous hard work as a team member.

I don't blame you for wanting to throw in the towel. Joy is a troublemaker that seems to have a hold over the management/owners.

I think you should raise with owner/HR that Joy is sharing this information which isn't appropriate. Her behaviour needs to be stopped if it's disruptive.

Thanks. I will do all of the above. Needed to vent and get it off my chest. If HR can't support on the repercussions of Joy I will be handing my notice in.
The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

But they made a good move regarding Joy. She is the owners problem now where she will either reign in her bad behaviour or she will get caught out and fired.

I don't think Joy resigned .

@Dancingqueen90 its really difficult with Joy’s ongoing behaviour. You can’t say anything as it’s unprofessional and a breach of GDPR. The owners have really dropped you in it.

As @Gazelda said advise HR of the repercussions and formalise discussions with the team member who is playing up.

At the next team meeting talk to the team about your expectations of them e.g standards of behaviour etc. Undoubtedly Joy will get mentioned. Respond along the lines of, I will not be making any comments about the situation, my focus is you, and your behaviours and performance.

If HR/the owners don’t pull Joy up sharpish then I agree start job hunting.