Manager doesn’t like me

[Confused5678]

I work full time in a government role . I have recently come back from maternity .

There is a new manager - who used to be my friend at work . I was close friends with him and he supported me as I split with my ex when pregnant . Apparently he liked me but never told me this.

Since I had my baby he cut me off completely and now as a manager he avoids me and does not talk to me . He said because he didn’t want to be with someone who had a child. I had no Interest other than friendship .

He used to be down to earth and approachable but now will not help me at all .

As soon as I came back he told me I may want to look at other roles .

My job is really challenging and I feel I can’t approach him at all . There is no one else to ask .

I feel quite lonely in my role as there is no one to talk to where I’m sat .

Would I be unreasonable to cut my hours to part time / look for another job ? My job is stressful enough . It seems the dynamic in the team has changed and we have no meetings anymore so I don’t get much chance to speak to others like I did before .

This is sex discrimination and you should report him.

One word: HR

Log everything and like PP said, HR. He can't treat you horribly simply because of his feelings towards you.

Are you in a union?

Document EVERYTHING

These situations are so hard when you don’t have evidence/people are clever in the way they act… not in writing and with no one around.

if you need support with your role you should be getting this from your manager regardless and I would start by putting it in writing… what is it about the role that’s challenging? What would help you? Are there any further training or mentors that could help you? Put in writing to him any ideas could help but you need his support. Then it’s there in writing. He has to help.
unfortunately HR is not for employees to go to as you’re supposed to speak to your manager. Could you ask for mediation? This shows you see a problem in the relationship and want to move past it. If tou have any evidence the grievance process is your next option but I’d be making sure you’re putting in writing issues ie you’re stressed (he should do a stress risk assessment with you/refer to of health) if he doesn’t do these or offer support then you’re gathering your evidence.
look after yourself and call the employee assistance programme just to talk to someone if you need to.
How about your countersigning manager- can you speak to them? If they can see you’ve asked for support/suggested mediation they’ll hopefully see you’re trying to resolve this informally

You need to speak to HR. His behaviour is unprofessional and unacceptable