Team member - is this going to be a problem do you think?

[PomegranatePunch]

Hello all. NC for this.

I recently had to have a conversation with a member of my team to tell them that their behaviour over the last few weeks has been rude, disrespectful and unprofessional. I have spoken to them a number of times about their rudeness/behaviour. All backed up with records etc. They were also told that should it happen again it would be taken to disciplinary procedures.
The conversation went as well as could be expected but unfortunately, they got upset, cried etc. I have to say that this felt manipulative rather than an honest reaction. I can't go into more detail as it could be outing.

This person started in a much junior role and none of these subsequent issues were known, although I was new to the role and hadn't managed them in their previous role. Unfortunately, they've turned out to be one of those people who get a little bit of responsibility, with little or no experience, and it goes straight to their head!

The meeting was a few days ago and we've had a couple of meetings since then - one was 121 and the others were in larger groups. Whilst they're clearly trying to be less rude, their facial expression is one of disgust (directed at me). Now I can understand that they're not happy but the unfortunate thing is that they tend to blame others rather than look at their own behaviour.

We're a small organisation so anything I do has a huge impact on the whole team but I won't allow one person to create a toxic environment.

I don't know why I'm posting this really- just looking for a chat on how others might have health with similar in the past, or how they might approach it. TIA

dealt with similar in the past not health with similar in the past!

Well, as someone who has had to work hard not to show what I'm feeling on my face, I think you can't actually get annoyed about or act on their facial expressions if they aren't actually saying anything rude (even though this is irritating).

I also say this as a Senior Manager who has managed a lot of people.

Just be professional. Talk to them again if they actually say anything rude and involve HR so they can't accuse you of bullying in any way (not that I'm saying you are, it's just that this is often people's 'go to' response.)

I disagree. If they are sat there rolling their eyes it's very rude.

I'd go formal route OP.

When you say their facial expression was one of disgust, what were they doing? Was it noticeable to others or were you hyper aware of it because of the conversations you’ve had with them?

If it’s noticeable to others then I would go go down the formal route. If it’s the latter then I would have one final documented conversation and warn them that this is the last opportunity you are giving them to behave professionally before you go down the formal route.

I would go through the formal route now OP. They are taking the piss and trying to intimidate you.

Please Ms HR, she's giving me evils, can you sack her for me? isn't going to cut it at an employment tribunal.

Probably not the best look as a senior manager..

From bitter experience: Make 100% sure you're absolutely compliant with all policies (down to the minutest detail) and create a robust paper trail on any interaction. For example when you have an in-person conversation send a follow-up email documenting key points. Keep everything professional, supportive, and run anything that could possibly be (wilfully) misconstrued by HR.

My dad would say she’s exhibiting “silent insolence.” Cocky little cow isn’t she.
Document everything. Absolutely everything. State how her actions/expressions/eye rolling made you feel.
In a way, her facial expressions are a form of bullying.

How long have they been with the organisation?

This is the way to go.

Throw the book at the situation to document you’ve tried to remedy the situation so there’s no way to wiggle out of it. Seek some HR guidance if you can to make sure you’re covering yourself.

Not much you can do about facial expressions. She could just say she had a toothache or bad taste in her mouth!

You could say ‘are you OK X? you look a bit uncomfortable’ in a caring way to bring attention to it if it continues.

She’ll probably start up the behaviour again soon IME so just document anything that’s said/done that cannot reasonably be explained as misconstrued then carry out disciplinary procedures according to company guidelines.

Part of being a manager is the risk that people won’t like you managing them.

Do others see the facial expressions? If they are clearly doing it openly in meetings with others present and have witnesses I’d take the formal route. You’ve already had informal discussions so they’ve had their chance.
Are they just like it with you or others?
be prepared to have a grievance raised by them (saying they feel bullied) I see this a lot but if you have documented discussions and evidence, you are just doing your role as a manager so don’t be put off.

Do you have an HR team you can ask advice from? I would always, at this stage, get backing from HR.

I’ve got one of these. I call it out in meetings on teams but in a general way “can everyone remember we can all see your facial expressions and consider how they may be read?” Or “Jane, I’ve pulled a face there - did you wish to interject?”

But as others say, log everything and learn the company policy.