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Original poster

Solutions for prohibitive interview nerves

26 replies

tulippa · 29/05/2023 19:57

DH is currently volunteering at an organisation and has applied for a full time paid post doing the tasks he volunteers for. He is good at what he does, gets great feedback and has been recognised by supervisors for doing well.
He has not been working for nearly 10 years for various reasons. I have been able to support the household financially during this time but it's getting to the point where we really need him to be earning.
He has had a couple of interviews for other jobs recently but has completely bottled them due to nerves. A combination of being out of practice and having general anxiety disorder. He is also feeling the pressure of needing to be in paid work sooner rather than later (I have done my best not to add to this).
I know nerves are normal at job interviews but his are sabotaging his chances. He ends up talking too fast and goes blank even though we have gone through and practised possible answers beforehand. He is taking up his supervisor's offer of a mock interview but are there any other ways he can stay calm? He would be great at the job if successful.

OP posts:
Katrinawaves · 29/05/2023 19:59

Could he take the edge off with a phenergan tablet just before the interview - it should calm him down a little without making him less coherent

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 20:06

Thanks - I'll look that up. I was thinking of suggesting going to the GP for beta blockers but was wondering if that might be too drastic.

OP posts:
Toomucho · 29/05/2023 20:15

I found the advice of talking about what motivates/excites you and what you've done well (that is relevant) at the start of the interview really helpful. They normally ask something like why have you applied for the job and this would be part of the answer.

Also he can take notes in. Eg one or two examples in STAR (or similar format) for questions he thinks will come up to help jog his memory.

It's also worth making a note of things he really wants to get across in the interview eg relevant experience because he will have opportunity to do this in when they ask if he has any questions.

Does he find meditation or breathing exercises helpful?

Finally if he signs up for JSA he might be able to get interview coaching or similar (it's a bit pricey privately). Although if he's getting counselling already he could seek advice there

Cyanchicken · 29/05/2023 20:30

Beta blocker will work in this scenario if the dr is happy to prescribe.

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 20:31

Thanks @Toomucho . That's good advice for the first question.
For the last interview he had, it was on Teams at home and he got the questions 20 minutes beforehand. We thought of examples for each, wrote them down and he still got extremely stressed out.
He used to do mindfulness. It might help him to take this up again.
Interesting what you about getting interview coaching through JSA. He's been on UC for a good six months but not once has been contacted by a job coach. He updates when he has applied for things and keeps getting the payments but has never been asked to see anyone in person. I had to go down to the job centre (even though I work full time) to prove my identity and get helpful messages every now and then reminding me to do my best not to lose my job. Hmm

OP posts:
blueshoes · 29/05/2023 20:34

Is the job he is applying for at the volunteer organisation he is already at or at a different orgnanisation?

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 20:36

@blueshoes It's where he's already at. His supervisor suggested he apply.

OP posts:
sosickofthisshit · 29/05/2023 20:44

I take Propanalol for situation anxiety. It helps immensely and I'm the same as your DH, I really struggle with interview nerves, and Propanalol really does help

Blueypartymummy · 29/05/2023 20:47

Beta blockers. Absolutely nothing drastic about taking them occasionally for things like interviews.

I started taking them for things like presentations and wondered why I had struggled through the terrible nerves for years.

blueshoes · 29/05/2023 20:50

Great, so his supervisor knows and rates him. Your dh has got the wind on his back.

Can the supervisor put a good word in for him?

Does the supervisor know about how debilitating his nerves are at interview?

Is this job also being externally advertised and he is competing against external candidates?

Toomucho · 29/05/2023 21:10

I was on JSA recently but not UC. My interview coaching was with a local charity supporting women back into work so it will depend on what is available locally. It's worth him asking next time he's in for UC.
My work coach was really supportive. I had some embarrassingly awful interviews too where I felt like I couldn't string a sentence together. I got there in the end! She did remind me it's a two way thing and the interviewer should be trying to put you at ease. Sounds like his supervisor is aware and is doing this hence the practice interview. They already know he's good at the job and fits in.
This might seem like a weird suggestion but could he pretend to be the interviewer and interview you. Might give him some insight into what it's like on the other side. Interviewers are human too and worry about making a good impression, knowing the answer to questions you ask too. Being able to access someone else's perspective can get you out of an anxiety loop.

Sounds like you're doing loads to support. Good luck to him

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 21:11

Might look into the beta blockers/other medication - thanks.
His supervisor knows about his anxiety. It's possible he might be one of the interviewers as well which might help although I know they have to do things properly and score the interview fairly according to the responses given.
Not sure if external candidates can apply.

OP posts:
LuckOfTheDrawer · 29/05/2023 21:15

Definitely beta blockers - they just take away the physical symptoms of anxiety. You still feel like you though. Good luck.

blueshoes · 29/05/2023 21:27

I agree with Toomucho that role playing is a good way to practice. Will he do that with you as the interviewer?

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 21:41

It's worth him asking next time he's in for UC. That's the thing though, he's never had to go in. It's like he's fallen off the list somehow but no-one's noticed. It would be good for him to get as much interview coaching as possible. I think he's worried he'll be forced to apply for jobs he would hate but he might start having to soon.

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Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 21:42

blueshoes · 29/05/2023 21:27

I agree with Toomucho that role playing is a good way to practice. Will he do that with you as the interviewer?

Yeah he will do. He's done it for me in the past too.

OP posts:
MegBusset · 29/05/2023 21:46

Would it help if he had the interview questions in advance? He could ask this as a reasonable adjustment for his GAD. (As a recruiting manager I’ve started doing this as a matter of course for all candidates, it really does help to get the best out of people who struggle with interviews but would be great in the role.)

Original poster
tulippa · 29/05/2023 23:32

I think so if he got them more than 20 minutes in advance. That time just seemed to stress him out more. His supervisor knows about his anxiety as he told them when he applied to do the volunteering. The volunteering has been for him refresh his experience and build up his confidence after being out of the workplace for so long.

OP posts:
CandlelightGlow · 30/05/2023 13:34

tulippa · 29/05/2023 20:06

Thanks - I'll look that up. I was thinking of suggesting going to the GP for beta blockers but was wondering if that might be too drastic.

beta blockers are absolutely not a drastic treatment for someone with GAD, I'd definitely recommend as they are non invasive.

Original poster
tulippa · 22/06/2023 20:58

A quick update: DH had an interview yesterday and got the job! He didn't fancy beta blockers in the end - he just did lots of prep, practised examples and a mock interview with another manager. Thanks for all the advice! I hope it's helped other people too.

OP posts:
LuckOfTheDrawer · 22/06/2023 21:12

Oh fab! That's great news 🙂.

blueshoes · 22/06/2023 22:58

Congrats to your dh and well done for facing his fears. Great outcome.

Cyanchicken · 27/06/2023 13:12

Brilliant news! Congrats to your DH

Original poster
tulippa · 28/06/2023 17:51

Thanks all! We were starting to think it would never happen but it did so yay! He got good feedback from the interview too about how well prepared he was so I guess it mainly comes down to that.

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ANiceBigCupOfTea · 28/06/2023 17:53

I was coming to give some advice but I'm buzzing to hear he got the job! Congratulations to him! 🥳

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