Experiences of full-time WFH please!

[Sweetlikechocolatee]

Hi all,

I have two children (5 and 1) and currently work full time hours spread over four days. I WFH for one day, but the other three days I am required to be in the office, which is an hour commute away. So on those days I see my children for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening before I put them to bed. I'm absolutely shattered and barely have enough time for my children, let alone for myself. It's also impacting my husband's business as he is having to stay local to do school/nursery pick-ups etc on those days (I know, poor him...)

I'm considering a job offer which is completely remote but I'm just wondering if the grass is always greener?! I've been with my current employers for seven years, and aside from the usual middle-management crap, they are pretty good to work for, I get a lot of perks, and let me be flexible with the kids for appointments, sickness etc etc. I'm also worried that I'll get bored and lonely working from home (although I am a bit of an introvert so I suspect not...) so would love to hear people's experiences of working from home, especially with a young family?

Like a lot of people I worked from home during the pandemic and absolutely loved it but appreciate it was a different situation back then (and I only had one child!) I just think it will give me more time with my family and maybe even some time to do a bit of exercise on my lunchbreak as right now I'm tired, inactive and a bit fed up!

Thank you x

It can be hard to stay motivated and there are lots of distractions. We IM a lot over the day (also distracting!)

Upsides no commute, getting stuff done around the house, can work with dog on lap!

It's hugely person specific

I love it and hate the office
Others can't stand it

I would say - your children will get older very quickly so those three days will be less of a problem

I've been WFH full time for about 3 years now, I see people in person maybe once a month. It absolutely does give me a better work life balance but there are downsides to consider.
It can be lonely - i spend about 50% of my time on zoom so I'm not sitting in silence, but don't underestimate how isolated you can feel on tough days.
I really believe it can only work long term if you a dedicated work space. I have a small office so stay in there and have breaks as I would in an office. If I was working anywhere else in the house it would be so easy to get distracted.
Kids - DS is 11 so capable of understanding that when I'm on a call I need to be left alone.
Other people - so many people assume WFH means being available to chat, take in deliveries etc.
Its been positive for me over all but I'd be happy to go back to an office when DS is older tbh

I’ve WFH full time for 12 years and I couldn’t go back to the commute and offices.
some days it’s great and I speed through work plus get laundry done and nip to the shop at lunch.
some days I’m lonely and demotivated and get distracted very easily. So be aware that can happen and have tools to deal with it.

as others have said I have my own office in a spare room, and I like having my stuff around me and closing the door from the house, plus walking away at the end of the day!

I treat the school run as my commute and listen to podcasts on the way home, then make a coffee and start work as soon as I get in.

about 7 years ago I started job sharing with someone and that is so helpful as we zoom once or twice a week - we have friendly colleague chat and it also means I have accountability.

I also work out if the house 2-3 days a
month to mix it up. If I have a big deadline working in the library helps as I can’t be distracted by the door/housework/tv. Or I have visits/meetings with partners. I look forward to those “days out”!

I’m so glad I work this way as I have 💯 flexibility to fit in around the children - mine are primary age.

My dh works from home most days. He ventures into the office with 1/ hour travelling each way and rail fare once a month. He has a really bad knee (old rugby injury) so it's better for him. He gets more work done. He logs on at 8am every morning. Stops to come down for coffee and takes it back up with him at 10.15. Stops for lunch at 12.30 for 1 hour when he goes out into the garden for 30 mins pottering about whilst I make him a sandwich then eats his sandwich and banana and takes coffee back up with him. He finishes at 4 but often is still working until 5. He finishes at 2pm on Fridays so does not stop for lunch. He is in online meetings for a lot of the time. Rest of time working on spreadsheets or building computer models. He says he can concentrate better at home as no distractions whereas when he used to be on the office everyday he was always being interrupted. He enjoys his work and his employer often gets extra hours worked they would not get if he was commuting. He occasionally has to travel to other areas and travel time is counted as work time on these occasions. He has a good social life at weekends and some evenings.

I do a mix of both but during the pandemic I wfh full time and tbh it didn't do a lot for my mental health, I was lonely, anxious, isolated etc.
I now do hybrid, 2 days wfh and 3 in the office, I actually hate getting up and going to the office but I feel better for it when I actually drag myself there.
Could you ask your company for a better balance?
My company (rail industry) is all about the people, they're very flexible especially for those that have DC, they also allow staff to do compressed hours, drop a day but do longer days to compensate.
Write out a plan, pros for you and the company for remote working then submit it to your manager.

Thank you all so much for your replies!

Yes the isolation is the thing that concerns me but my hope is that it would give me time for something for myself in the week (running club or dinner with friends) that I currently don't have time for which would give me social interaction around people I actually want to see - rather than forced social interaction with those in the office! Let's face it, we can't choose the people we work with!

Our fourth bedroom is already set-up as an office space and I also understand about missing out on the 'stuff' that happens in the office but with this new job 90% of the staff work remotely so everyone is in the same position.

My current employer already rejected my recent flexible working request to have two days WFH (business needs apparently) and said I could only have one a week so there's no movement on that.

And yes, kids do grow up so fast and that's exactly why I want to be around while they are young to enjoy them. On my day off and WFH day I love being able to walk the school run and talk about their days. Rather than a rushed morning and then straight in the bath/bed when I get home feeling stressed out, tired and guilty!

i also enjoy working from home but there’s a few crucial things for me.

my job is sales, so I spend all day on the phone to people. If I had a job where I didn’t talk to people, I think it could get very isolating. I also have a dog, so get out every day to walk her which I think is important. If I didn’t do that, I’d barely leave the house!

I do think that if I wanted any sort of promotion, it would mean committing to going back in the office and whilst I’m absolutely fine with that now (I don’t have any aspirations to become a manager), its something to think about. My work/life balance is so much better now. Just being able to do the housework at lunch and pop some washing on the line, etc, makes a huge difference to me!

we’ve had a few new starters in my team since I’ve been working from home and I don’t have much of a relationship with them, but then my office isn’t very chatty anyway so although it would have bothered me more at other jobs, I wouldn’t know them MUCH better if I was in the office.

Like others have said, there are pros and cons. It does make life easier for childcare/domestic matters - putting a quick wash on, making meals.

However, I hated full-time WFH, more than I ever thought I would. I'm massively introverted, so always assumed it would work for me, but without being forced to spend time with people, I felt very lonely and isolated, and actually quite resentful (the job wasn't WFH when I started, it was a consequence of the CEO seeing a way of cutting their costs post-Covid).

I also don't have a dedicated office space, and logistically it would have been a lot of expense/upheaval to create one.

Ultimately I left for a job where I work hybrid, which is the best of both worlds for me.

@IdrisElbow it sounds like it doesn't it! I'm just so dreadful at making decisions and fear I'll make the wrong one and end up regretting it!

@OhBollocks23 if I lived closer to the office then I think I would be ok with hybrid but the three days where I am out the door at 7.30am and not back until 6.30pm are killing me!

I’ve been fully based from home since 2017 and couldn’t go back into an office. I’m also doing the 37 hours in 4 days. I love the flexibility and comfort. I love not having to worry about how I look. The school/nursery run ensures you have a routine and don’t get too lazy. You can also sort stuff around the house and eat properly from home. And no commute!

My DH has wfh for 10 years and I've wfh since the start of the pandemic

I love it and will never work in an office again.

Our children are late primary/early secondary.

We save a fortune not paying for wraparound care. Breakfast is much more leisurely and we have flexibility to attend sports day etc.

This is our lifestyle now.

I've wfh for over 10 years and live it. But you do have to be fairly organised and motivated to do so. There are also several 'must have's' such as;

A dedicated office
Your family know your work hours and don't interrupt (other than the offer of a cuppa)
Your family shouldn't expect jobs to be done (housework) during office hours - if you get chance it's a 'nice to have'
Shut your office door after hours and on weekends and don't go back in
If you can get a garden office even better
Organise childcare - don't do it yourself

I've wfh for the last 2.5yrs. I'm part time 3 days a week. My kids are 3 and 6. It's brilliant. I can take kids to and from school/nursery. If they are sick I'm 5mins away not at least an hour away like if I was in the office. I can attend doctors appointments, thing at school. My work is very flexible and allows me to do this.

They also let me pick my daughter up from school and have her with me for a couple of hours before I finish.

I can manage to to a little bit of housework, hang out washing, empty dishwasher etc. sometimes before I start other times I might be a bit quieter that day at work.

I found it hard in the beginning and was getting distracted, found it hard to concentrate etc. Now I find it hard when I go to the office it's so noisy and I can't stop chatting to everyone 😂 I get so little done.

I have recently been made to go to the office once a week and it's just so hard. I have to be up at 6.30 instead of 7.45. Kids need to go to breakfast clubs and the earliest I can get in still doesn't get me to the office until 9.20 as I just miss a train after dropping the kids the earliest I can. It's nice to see my colleagues but I'd still prefer not to lol.

Oh I used to go to the gym on my lunch break too when my eldest was at nursery. I now use my lunch break to pick my daughter up from school though so can't do that now (I prob cld but wld need to make the time up later).

From your post, I'd say wfh full-time is a no brainer. To combat the isolation, make sure you get out for a walk at lunchtime, or just drive to the shops to have a wander. Don't spend all day, every day, at home.

Having the extra time in the morning/afternoon is so valuable as a working parent. I'd go as far as saying that it's sanity saving.

You could always find a mixed role when your DC are older.

You definitely need motivation factors in place. I’ve WFH a lot most or only a day a month and it’s very easy to get distracted.

I’d say walks are good but also stay in touch, run errands at local high street. At one point I had all my shopping delivered, food like takeaways delivered, couriers etc to the door so no need to go out at all. Not good generally!

After covid I was told I would never go back to the office as a cost cutting measure (local authority). WFH with no ability to have a dedicated space, a job that is tough to do without large double screens, and in a job that relies a lot on quick communication and interaction with colleagues, had brought me close to suicidal thoughts.

I'm now hybrid, we've made some sacrifices at home to carve out a small workspace, new job has given me screens for home and I am 100% happier. I normally do 3 days in the office and 2 at home but this is flexible.

The isolation and lack of contact with humans was horrendous

I couldn't do WFH full-time. I quite it enjoyed it at the start of lockdown, but eventually I hated that my home was my workplace. I enjoy interacting with people in the office (and for the most part, I think it's good for culture and productivity in my workplace). I'd hate only to meet with people on teams etc., I find it a bit soul destroying and difficult to build relationships. I now do two days at home, three in the office and it's a nice balance.

That's just me though. I'd echo what a PP says on that those difficult days when you have a small child don't last long, but you can't put a price on the flexibility etc. you mentioned. It can take a while to build that up somewhere new, depending on the organisation.

Hi OP, I have children of exactly the same age and WFH full time. I would say that when they are at that age, it’s brilliant in terms of practicality and spending time with them, I feel like I get the best of both worlds. My 1 year old goes to full time nursery and my 5 year old still goes to after school club but my quality of life (ie home life) is brilliant as I can get the odd housework job done in my breaks, run in the day in winter which is great for mental health. Also, I can pick my kids up at 5 and spend time with them before bed time rather than rushing, and still do the school run and be back at my desk in time. Also it’s been great with all the illnesses mu 1 year old picks up at nursery as they are very flexible about having her with me on the odd occasion. I don’t know what we’d do if we both had long commutes with them coming home ill as we don’t have family near to help. However, I am actually looking for another job at the moment as Im getting bored in the job, miss the office and it can get lonely! This may be because of the job rather than working location though. Ideally somewhere with a short commute where I can be in the office 1-2 days a week to get that human contact. As the kids get older I would probably want to spend more time in the office. So when they are young, WFH is great for them and very convenient, but as they get older I will probably need more adult face to face contact to summarise.

For me there are no cons to wfh. No commute, no petrol costs, no dirty toilets and kitchens to put up with, some women had filthy habits in some places I have worked. No lazy colleagues getting away with doing nothing, at home you don’t see it so much, no office politics. I don’t get lonely at all, as I see my friends regularly so have no interest in banal office chit chat.