Help! At a crossroads

[Soulsearching11]

I’m early 40s, female. Need to decide whether to stay in my well-paid (5k monthly take home) but utterly uninteresting career & stressful job, or retrain into something I’d love but earn far less (most likely less than half, at least for several years while it builds up) and have no financial security (I’d look to go freelance).

If I stay I could potentially pay off my mortgage in 5 years, but would still hate work throughout that time and potentially then be too late to change career at that point and make success of it. However I do really value financial security, and I feel very lucky to be able to weather the current cost of living crisis.

If I retrain, I’d be spending all my savings on training/living costs whilst not earning (training would be one year, full time), and then a risk that I don’t earn enough /have enough remaining savings to live off once I start building up business. However the thought of being properly motivated in my career really excites me.

Essentially I feel like I’m making a decision between enjoying work but being stressed about paying bills and not being able to afford holidays, or being miserable at work but having enough money to be financially secure, go on nice holidays, and also provide financial help to my kids when they are older (one is in school, one is in pre-school).

I feel like I’d be really selfish to spend all my savings on myself, instead of providing for my family (I am the breadwinner).

But also don’t want to get to my 60s and look back and think I didn’t even try and do something different.

Has anyone left a well paid secure but dull job to career change into something they love but that pays far less? Do you regret it?

Yes. Product designer for large manufacturer to sole trader making on commission.

Cons
Earnings - ouch, especially after covid lockdowns, but recovering now. I won't ever be wealthy but I can make a living.
Constantly needing to hunt for new clients.
Unreliable income stream.
No holiday or sick pay.

Pros
It's my business and working hard benefits ME, not the mother company.
Different stresses re finances etc, but I'm not dealing with office politics, cliques and all the wheeling and dealing and backstabbing that happened at my previous place - and that is bloody marvellous.
Freedom to work business hours that suit me, even if that means working an event over a weekend. Its my choice.
It's forced me to develop new skills such as marketing and networking.
I don't have total job security, but it's more in my control than if I were working for someone else.
I can swivel my small business quickly to respond to circumstances - eg I mostly make one kind of product, but could easily make other kinds if the opportunity rose.

Thanks @Baldieheid , and congratulations!

So overall are you glad you made the change? Would you do anything differently?

I guess I’m asking, are you happier despite having a lot less money?

Yes, much happier.

We live a simple life, and it's not complicated by dependents, it's just us, so a reduced income has been manageable. I've taken on short term jobs every so often when I've had gaps between projects, usually in retail, and each time I'm very happy to leave as they remind me how little I enjoy working with and depending on other people.

If you're self motivated and self reliant, then working for yourself is worth trying. It could be lonely but I have a studio in a council building with a dozen other tenants and we all, by and large, get on. We share facilities so we can chat in the kitchen, etc. It's a nice balance, for me.

To be fair, I was miserable, bored and frustrated in my previous job, so even less money was better than continuing to struggle in an environment that had become toxic for me.

Ah that’s great to hear. Yes it is tough not being in control of your day.

I think it does complicate things a lot having dependants. If it was just me, I wouldn’t feel so guilty for taking the risk, but knowing it will have an impact on my kids’ lives, and that I could even end up having to sell up and move if it doesn’t work out, does weigh heavily.

It's worth a deep think before you leap, and maybe a second or third opinion .

Speak to a business advisor, gather as much info and plan, plan, plan. Prepare for failure and have a contingency plan. Save as much money as you can. Keep working and set yourself up gradually as a side hustle.

Mine happened quickly as I volunteered for redundancy and left v quickly as I was senior and put on gardening leave, so it was all a bit "eeeeek" at first. I dived right in, but maybe you could gradually make the move?

Would you be able to drop down to p/t while retraining? Could you do 3 days in your current role and the rest of the time retraining, even if it took 2 years rather than the one you are anticipating?

A lot depends on your financial situation, are you married, does your partner have a job that covers mortgage/bills? Are they supportive?

Finally, are you absolutely certain the new direction will make you happy? Have you looked into the day to day grind of your new career? Some people have a rosy view of what a new role will actually entail, only to find the reality is not quite what they were thinking.

I’d love to gradually make the move, but the retraining I need to do would be full time for almost a year so I would need to quit work. I do have some savings that would last me for maybe 18 months- 2 years. I dream about being offered redundancy, but unfortunately we are so short staffed and overworked that it is very unlikely!

Speaking to a business advisor is a good idea though. The training does include some advice on setting up a business too.

Business Gateway has loads of resources, but also I spoke to my banks business advisor. You'll need to think about your business structure (Ltd? Sole trader?), registering with hmrc (loads of useful info here too), insurance, etc. Even with a business you can run from a kitchen table, there are start up costs. Marketing, business cards, website, advertising, business connections, etc....

Do your homework before you step off the cliff.

I think as the breadwinner it's a risk. Is there not an alternative where you find a different but related role to your current one that you will be happier in?

I empathise as I'm single so only have one income in the household and have DC. I would love to do something different but am trapped by needing to earn the kind of money I'm on now to support my family and have some money to put aside.

I did some training and dabbled in another field a few years ago but it made a big impact financially and I'm back to doing a job similar to what I did previously.

Will you need annual professional development courses to keep you registered and insured? Plan for those costs.

Will you need a vehicle to visit clients?

If working from home and clients visit you, will it invalidate your insurance?

Would a garden office work? Budget to build one and run cables to it for power and telephones etc?

I did this- tough financially but getting better over time, and the fulfilment that comes from doing something I feel passionate about, and see a positive future in is so worth it, and has been a great learning for the children actually- seeing me take on a tough new challenge, persevere, pick myself up after set backs, and start to see fruits of my labour. V supportive husband has been key.