Help me sack my relative

[Familybusinessesarehardwork]

I'd love thoughts on how to manage this difficult situation.

I run my family business that my grandparents set up, having been in management positions in corporate roles I switched because the family members running it needed help.

My Father and his Sister & brother ran the business together. They are both dead and two of my cousins are in the business.

My Dad is the CEO

One cousin a woman is in the business and we work well together although her work is often under acknowledged/appreciated.

One Cousin is Male a director and is the problem he is in charge of customer service and sales, he is just not very dynamic and the sales team are not being pushed to do anything as a result.

We have had a real hard time recently and the management team and I have worked really hard to update the business in every way possible which is paying off we are getting industry awards and good feedback, he has not helped with any of this and doesn't do anything you'd expect a director to do.

We have 250+ employees and the lack of input from my cousin has definitely been noticed and puts more pressure on the management team.

Recently I've had customers have a quiet word with me about my cousin telling me he is very negative and dragging the business down.

I've passed this feedback back to my Dad, who just says he's my dead siblings child I can't do anything.

If this was a corporate job I'd be in the position to performance manage him out but this isn't a corporate business that power lies with my Dad.

He's also had loads of training, mentoring and support to be able to perform that the business paid for so not like we haven't tried to support him.

So I'm basically left to do his job and mine. Any thoughts on how I change this I think the key is getting my Dad to realise he has options and that he can do something.

Oh to add there's an element of sexism until recently this male Cousin was on significantly more money than me and any admin, HR, IT or organisation task always falls to me, basically if it's not exciting and showy i.e big sales then I seem to have to do it.

Sad thing is a think that if cousin was a women he'd have been sacked years ago, basically the penis owners are allowed to chronically underperform but the women in the business particularly the family members are held to a really high standard.

Going back to your opening post "So I'm basically left to do his job and mine. Any thoughts on how I change this ". It's very simple, you get a different job where you're not also doing your incompetent cousins job for free.

You aren't Erin Brokovitch, you don't need to do this. The other employees will get new jobs, your skills will be well appreciated elsewhere. Your DF is either letting emotions or chauvinism run the business, so leave him to it. These dynamics are not healthy for you.

@TheSpottedZebra I've thought about that nuclear option a few times lately it carries a lot of emotion and it as ultimately he's my parent, but also I took a lot of risks with my family to take on this role including for a long while a pay cut and at the end of the day my children and the security of my family unit comes first.

We don't do 360 but might do a little of that, prehaps I'll do some customer feedback and if I don't get anything negative about him just make it up, sounds very unprofessional to me but I've got to do something to bring it to a head.

@rookiemere I get what you're saying and is say it to a friend so gives me a lot to think about.

I'd love to be more like Erin Brokovitch she seems like a real power house not that I'm any kind of pushover.

Honestly, I'd leave. The business is inevitably going down the pan. You can either look for another job now, while you're a strong candidate. Or give it a couple of years and try as the CEI of a failed business...

Nepotism is poison in business.

And your Dad is a sexist idiot who favours your cousin over you. You owe him norhing

Based on my own non-family based yet equally dyfunctional boss/team here is what you can do with shitty performers. I was also 2nd in command.

Your df is... as you know the issue.

Theres a few small things but the big ticket items are:

• salary (his and yours)

if you need to payrise making your salary higher than his by a significant amount at least 10k. If you dad can pay for him to sweet fa he can pay you properly or over pay you (nepotism should have some benefits) if he wont do this see point 3 below.

ideally you would cut his salary and/or move him out to a junior nothing role but give him a fancy title. i guess this is not an option/ you cant action this though. Next best no payrise no bonus indefinitely.
This is kind of a starve them out tactic but it sounds like his pay is so high he might hang in there.

• expose cousins inadequacies

stop doing anything for him or do cover him. Its hard but let the plates fall. call him out in meetings matter of factly.

-statement of intentions
You go back have one last calm chat with your dad which is a statement if intent.
Cousin is a problem because of x y and z here is my recommendation on how to manage it. I love you and this is the last conversation you will have about it but ultimately i need to do whats best for me and so i may need to look at new roles.

Would your dad consider moving your cousin into a non-customer facing position and allowing you to delegate some of your workload?

I'd just leave, be paid more and take the company share when trust matures.

It sounds a very badly run company and will be much worse when dad dies and many grandkids own it and want their share -at that point it would just be sold off surely?
Even if you did turn company around, everyone else would benefit much more than you.

I am sure you know more than me about the trajectory of family businesses, but this is following one of the classic rise and fall scenarios, isn’t it?

How long do you think you’ve got before the overall profitability and indeed survival of the firm crumble because of your father’s poor management decisions? because ultimately it is down to him, it seems your cousin is a useless plonker, but your father is enabling and protecting him. DF is not carrying out his responsibilities to the shareholders or ultimately to the employees. It’s one thing to operate in a difficult climate, or even to make the wrong decision based on a misinterpretation of the facts, but that is not what is happening here.

Unless you think that the business will ‘last you out’ and you will retire with a decent pension/ inheritance, I think you have to plan for the future. Your competence and application shriek out from your posts. You need either to get another job where you can use your talents, or you have to confront your family and get the authority and support you need.

Either way, there will probably be tempests! But better that than rot away becalmed.

Good Luck . (DH would hire you in an instant).

How old is your dad and is he likely to retire or step down the the near future? What is his succession plan? Is it you?

If there's a reasonable chance of change in the short to medium term it might be worth lining things up so that when your dad steps down you have the power to redeploy your cousin (or sack him).

But if your dad is 65 and planning to hang on until he's 99 then there doesn't seem to be anything else that you can do that you haven't already tried.

Your efforts aren't appreciated or valued. If it wasn't your dad's company would you stay given your salary doesn't reflect the work you do or that know how to improve things, but aren't being listened to? I think you know the answer.

The only way things will change is if your dad listens to you and starts taking a back seat in managing the business. Just because he was close to his brother doesn't mean he owes his nephew, who is basically taking the piss (possibly because he's been allowed to), anything. He's actually doing him a disservice by not better managing his performance. And he's favouring him over you, perhaps because he doesn't want to be seen to be favouring his own daughter?

The whole thing is dysfunctional.

Well it sounds like your Dad needs to be sucession planning. Who owns the business? Is it a trust of some sort?
Why not suggest to them that you get some external business planning consultants in for a fresh/independent view of where the business goes next?

You need to create a fancy sounding role that he can be 'promoted' into, such as Executive Head of Customer Excellence' and that has very few actual responsibilities. Big companies do this all the time.

Thank you everyone for their thoughts so my plan is:

1, Dossier of all that isn't being done and how much it is costing us. Already done something similar but our new CRM system will really help.

2, Legacy planning I've already started the ball rolling on this as we can't keep having multiple generations inheriting it just won't work.

3, Exit strategy update everything and keep raising my profile, which I'm already doing as part of my strategy so I'm seen as the industry expert.

I'm not ready to jump ship yet as the potential of the business is huge we work in an oligopoly so should have it relatively easy and I'm just working on a diversifying and the potential in that product is huge we would be increasing our production by 1000%

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen thank you that's very kind of you to say that.

I would give up on your dad he's probably too old to change, too stuck in his male chauvinist ways to see reality, and unable to overcome the loyalty to his deceased siblings that makes him unable to deal with this problematic family member.

Is there any way for you to jump ship and take the business with you? Or bide your time and wait until you can seize power and usurp your father?

A thought occurs. Why are you asking on Mumsnet? Do you not have proper support?

The Institute of Family Businesses has some generic resources and I'm sure they could put you in touch with other families who have worked through this sort of problem.
https://www.ifb.org.uk/

Thank you I've thought about joining a few times and been busy with other things so just put an enquiry in.

I do have other support but I can be more honest anonymously plus I think the woman that frequent MN are often intelligent and forthright.

Have you never been tempted just to set up on your own? All those lost sales might as well go to you @Familybusinessesarehardwork