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Original poster

The cheek of this… opinions needed

30 replies

Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 10:12

I work for a company and my DH also works for the same company but different part. We don’t really see each much.

I had an interview for a new job with significantly better pay.

my boss wants to try and keep me but can’t match the pay so to try and sweeten the deal they have offered to give my DH a pay rise slightly too? It’s not really a pay rise for him as a favour though because he was due one anyways as his role has changed.

i am actually fuming and insulted.

what are peoples thoughts on this?

OP posts:
JobChangeSoonPlease · 06/05/2023 10:18

Unacceptable! Even more reason to go for that new job now.

swanling · 06/05/2023 11:24

JobChangeSoonPlease · 06/05/2023 10:18

Unacceptable! Even more reason to go for that new job now.

Agreed.

Stopthatknocking · 06/05/2023 11:31

Wtf!

They value you so much that pay your husband for you?

You do not belong to him, Do they think he is your owner or pimp?

If they value your work, they pay you, not him!!!

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 06/05/2023 11:39

Agree to it, let them give him the payrise and then leave.

Stopthatknocking · 06/05/2023 11:42

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 06/05/2023 11:39

Agree to it, let them give him the payrise and then leave.

They would probably take the rise away then, because its for the services of OP.

Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 11:58

I’m glad it’s not just me that’s shocked. I’ve said how do they know he’s not controlling with money? Or I have to pay all the expenses, or I’m not planning on leaving him so need more money to pay for my mortgage. None of the above is true but still!

I can’t believe it tbh. Apparently we’re seen as a family!

OP posts:
youveturnedupwelldone · 06/05/2023 14:28

So they can't quite match your new pay but they can find some £ to give your DH a payrise? Why not offer that money to you to get nearer to matching your new pay?

I'm in agreement with others - this would become my top reason for leaving.

Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 15:41

Because they’re saying they can’t change my salary because it wouldn’t be fair to the others that do the same/similar job.

however, everyone’s roles different anyways, everyone’s pay is different because people talk, other job roles have gone out at different pay scales so it’s a stupid point to try and raise.

the thing is I haven’t even got the job yet and it’s just really frustrating that this is happening

OP posts:
Somebodiesmother · 06/05/2023 15:44

Can that even be legal?

Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 17:21

Most likely not! This is why I’m posting here but not really sure what to do

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/05/2023 17:26

I would say they need to pay appropriate to the job role and experience you being.

If they act unethically deal with it when it happens.

I would ask them which job roles they are comparing the one you are applying for to.

swanling · 06/05/2023 17:27

And what would they do if you were single?

They know it's not 1948 anymore, right?

Gazelda · 06/05/2023 17:45

So he gets extra pay, increased pension contribution etc.

All because the value you?

Wow. Get out of there quick. I couldn't respect a business that operates in that way. Their values stink.

BCBird · 06/05/2023 17:53

That awful

Iwasafool · 06/05/2023 17:54

So they are offering both of you a payrise? I assume they think giving you the full amount will set a precedent for other staff so they are trying to get round that. Bit weird and unethical.

I suppose it could be useful if one of you was borderline for going into a higher tax bracket or going above the limit for Child Benefit or something like that.

youveturnedupwelldone · 06/05/2023 18:20

If he was also due a payrise anyway that makes it worse imo.

Was money the only reason you wanted to leave in the first place?

CabernetSauvignon · 06/05/2023 18:22

If you get the new job, take it. I you don't, screw whatever you can out of your current employers by way of a pay rise and extra perks, and continue looking for a new job.

Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 18:27

Yeah he was due a pay rise due to his role becoming a lot more senior and the workload. So he was due one anyways and was planning to discuss his when he had his review towards the end of the year.

but yeah basically in a nutshell they value me so much that they’re going to give him a rise too lol I can’t fathom the thought process

in regards to other staff… tbh there isn’t a set structure some of us have the same titles but our roles vary significantly due to the jobs we do. Also I applied for a different role when I started and it’s never materialised so I’ve ended up doing the same as every one else but I’m paid slightly higher so that’s why I don’t know why they care so much about the “others” when I do a different job and have a different title

OP posts:
Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 18:28

Oh and yeah was leaving for pay as I’ve seen a job role identifical to mine including job description for a good whack more and I don’t mean an extra £100 a month it’s like over £500 a month hence why I wanted to go for it.. and I luckily got shortlisted

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/05/2023 18:28

Doesn't matter how many times I reread it it's utterly ghastly and insulting to you.

Take the new job and run as fast as you can!

JulieHoney · 06/05/2023 18:29

That can't be legal, surely?

And how incredibly insulting - I hope you get the other job.

AprilSmiles · 06/05/2023 18:40

Ask them to put the offer to bump your husband's salary on your behalf in writing...

Then contact an employment lawyer.

TomeTome · 06/05/2023 18:45

AprilSmiles · 06/05/2023 18:40

Ask them to put the offer to bump your husband's salary on your behalf in writing...

Then contact an employment lawyer.

This. Then leave because they are outrageous sexist turds (legally speaking😬)

Original poster
Darklava09 · 06/05/2023 18:55

Would you be shocked to find the main people behind this thought are majority female!

OP posts:
swanling · 06/05/2023 18:57

Not really, women grow up in the same sexist society as men.