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Not sure how to explain

6 replies

ErinAoife · 05/05/2023 06:49

I don't know if I am being paranoid, but I feel that my manager doesn't like me much. For example when I come in in the morning and said hello to everyone she never said it back to me but would said it to another colleague who came after me, same in the evening when I said goodbye, no goodbye from her. I know the big boss complained about me leaving on time as my colleagues are staying late, I can not stay late except for one day when the kids are at their father as I need to collect them from daycare before closing time, I have no support or family around to help me, an ex husband who won't help outside the day he agreed to have the kids (I wanted 50 50 but he had refused but that is another story). In order to collect the kids before daycare closed, I need to leave work on time if during the day i asked my colleagues if they need any help most of the time the answer is no so i stop offering, they can ask for help if needed. Furthermore my colleagues, most of the time, don't need to stay late, they are doing it because of management. I did an experiment the last time when my kids were on holiday with their dad to see why they are staying late, one is doing online course, the other one will always wait for the manager to leave before leaving. The one who leave after the manager, was even waiting for me to leave, when she saw no sign of me leaving she asked me why I was staying late so I just told her I don't have the kids today so I am catching up on work so she left. None of my colleagues will leave on time because it is frowned by management. My manager left maybe 30 minutes after finishing hour. Unfortunately for me if I finish 30 minutes late, I won't be making it on time to collect my kids from daycare. The daycare I am using have been very good to me, they are opening 15 mn earlier than their normal time, just for me to be able to be on time for work. I am going to have my annual review at the end of the month,I am sure it is going to be a topic of conversation again. Lately, I found my manager is looking for every little error I made or think I have made. She was asking me to fix something the other day which I did and when I told her it was fixed she said I have to be more careful and when I said what she means by that, she told me it was a silly mistake and I should really have paid more attention to details so I replied to her I wasn't the one who made the mistake, her reply was why did you fix it then. My reply was because you asked me to do it. No apologies whatsoever from her. I really don't know if I am being paranoid as life has been hectic with the kids and my patience has a result is wearying thin. I really don't know how to deal with work, I used to love my job and now I am dreading going to work.

OP posts:
kweeble · 05/05/2023 07:55

This sounds awful - you should be able to leave on time! I would actively look for another job. Never stay late again as it doesn’t do you any favours

Quveas · 05/05/2023 07:57

I'm not sure what you are asking. But if you are doing your job correctly, and if you are working your contractual hours, then that is all that you are required to do. What anyone else thinks of that is irrelevant. Don't compare yourself to what you think others are thinking.

Disgustedandfreakedout · 05/05/2023 08:00

You're not being paranoid you're being bullied. Contact your union or ACAS.

trulyunruly01 · 05/05/2023 08:13

If managers want full time + 5 hours then they ought to advertise a 42.5 hr contract.
You answered an ad for 37.5, you interviewed for 37.5, you signed a contract for 37.5 - all because 37.5 fitted in with your life. Wtf is wrong with these managers, I've seen quite a few posts like this recently, and heard a few RL similar stories. The worst being someone who signed a 25hr contract but was regularly expected to do 40hrs, and was put under great pressure to do so.
Pisses me off. Rant over.

AuntieSoap · 05/05/2023 08:19

Your manager sounds awful and you haven't done anything wrong. It also doesn't sound as though it's going to get any better. How easy would it be for you to find another job?

ErinAoife · 05/05/2023 11:44

Thanks. Very hard to find a new job without relocation. My problem is because my colleagues are staying late every day, my manager thinks I do less work than them and i should take over some of their workload but each time I offer to help them out they gave me nothing really. I have been in this company 25 years but the last 10 years have been very stressful with new management.

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