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Original poster

How to hand in notice to toxic boss

27 replies

IDontLikeMondays88 · 04/05/2023 21:40

considering just sending an email giving notice and not saying much more than that.

I am aware the professional thing to do is to do it face to face but I don’t really want to!

OP posts:
nxa · 04/05/2023 21:46

Why don't you want to?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 04/05/2023 21:52

When I resigned via email (because I was already signed off due to my boss being a cunt) all I wrote was "This email is notice of my resignation. My last day of employment will be 20th September 2020".

I don't think he ever replied.

VacuumOfOoze · 04/05/2023 21:54

A really plain email saying 'please accept this as notice of my resignation. My last working day will be X'.

There's no point using it to point score or get into reasons why - If your boss or anyone else cares about why, they will ask. If your boss is 'toxic' a conversation about it is likely to go wrong and /or be upsetting. Also, you are not legally required to tell him in person and he might not be 'available' to talk for a few days. Put it in writing and it's done. Your notice period starts now, not in two days time or whatever.

Mummytolittleones92 · 04/05/2023 21:57

Write it on some paper, approach his desk, hand it over and then do the ‘cough’ a La woman from Little Britain. You’ll walk off laughing. Life is too short OP x

LaurieFairyCake · 04/05/2023 22:04

I prefer Fuckoffs version:

"THIS is notice" - don't say please or apologise

Just email, I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't email their resignation in to a bad boss Grin

KitKatLove · 04/05/2023 22:32

Unless you want to tell them how toxic they are, email literally two sentences: Please accept this email as formal notice of my resignation. My last working day will be dd/mm/yyyy unless HR advise sooner.

Original poster
IDontLikeMondays88 · 04/05/2023 22:56

I don’t want to do it in person because he’s a total keyboard warrior. So I feel like if he wants to deal with everything on email then I will just do that.

plus any conversation is twisted etc

OP posts:
Original poster
IDontLikeMondays88 · 04/05/2023 22:58

Also I do think if I ask to set up a meeting they will put it off etc

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 04/05/2023 23:03

Does the boss own the company? If not don’t burn your bridges. In future he could be gone and you could be applying for a better role there.

You prepare an email as per the straightforward ones above. Adding that you wish Company every future success.

You request a short meeting with boss. You say ‘I’m sure this won’t be a surprise but I have some news- I’ve been offered a role elsewhere and am moving on. I will email you my resignation too of course’.

Good luck. Stay dignified.

UWhatNow · 04/05/2023 23:08

If you know you’re definitely leaving why care? Write a basic generic ‘this is my notice to terminate employment etc’ and toss it on his desk. That’s it. Then just keep your head down and take holiday if you can. Count down the days.

Original poster
IDontLikeMondays88 · 05/05/2023 06:35

He’s the second in command so I am ok burning some bridges 🔥

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 05/05/2023 06:41

I would write it very politely and hope that he kicked off via email so that I could write back and say this is a good example of why I am leaving and copy in his boss

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 06:41

Just write it down and give it to him then follow up with an email copying in HR to confirm

Notanothernewname · 05/05/2023 06:47

I did mine on email. I said "please accept this as my resignation, my last day is x and because I have x amount of annual leave my last working day will be y. I appreciate the experience that z has given me but feel it's time to move on".

I copied HR in.

Butterfly44 · 05/05/2023 07:35

Perhaps read your company policy on resignation first. Ours is by letter - so I'd expect an email with - please find attached my letter of resignation

DixonD · 06/05/2023 00:34

There’s no need to ever do it face to face unless you’re leaving on entirely good terms (eg. Retiring). You’re not breaking up with them. Letter is fine, perhaps email as well.

Whywouldyoudothat123 · 07/05/2023 03:47

A few years ago I had a toxic boss. I knew he would either pretend not to receive the email or ignore it so I wrote a resignation letter and put it on his desk (which was next to mine but opposite a whole group of us in an open plan office) . It was very simple and just said I was leaving the company, I’m giving 4 weeks notice, this is the date I’m leaving and thanked the company for their time and experience.

i approached him and said I have a letter for you and placed it on his desk. He said distractedly what is it? I said something for you to read - at this point my colleagues all turned silent and started staring. He sighed and gruffly ripped it open not expecting it then said I suppose we best have a meeting then and pulled me into the seperate but open reception area. He then laughed and said how one earth have you managed to get another job - if you’ve taken sick leave or been dishonest I’ll find out???? I said no, my new company saw me out of hours and they were pretty accommodating. I don’t know what he did with the letter (probably threw it away) but I made sure to visit the HR dept with a copy immediately afterwards.

the experience was really intimidating but I’m glad I did it that way as it really cemented the reasons why I was leaving! In summary, a letter in person is best even if they are toxic as I don’t think I would have handled sending an email which they won’t respond to. Good luck!

moodoperator · 07/05/2023 05:36

My first job after uni was in professional services in a tiny firm of less than 10 people.
MD was a bullying prick with napoleon complex and a "head of HR" who just happened to be his wife,
Anyway on the Monday after I'd decided, my line manager was away and me and the MD ended up attending a client meeting together.
I handed an envelope to him after the meeting apologising simply for the fact that ordinarily I'd have given it to my line manager.
He understood straight away and just stormed out of the room.
Best feeling ever, I'd reclaimed the power in an abusive relationship.
If you're brave enough I'd highly recommend you do it face to face as that feeling of being done with him and his shit is instant and lasts forever (and follow up immediately by email as a po has suggested).
You don't need to say anything if he's rude, you can just turn around and walk away as you're now free of him.

GoodChat · 07/05/2023 06:21

Send the email to his boss and HR and just CC him in. That'll really piss him off but will be completely professional on your part Wink

katmarie · 07/05/2023 06:27

I had a toxic boss who loved to stand over the female staff and yell at them til they cried. He never did it with the male engineers, and refused to hire men into the customer service team as well.

I told the hr manager first that I was handing my notice in, and she suggested she come with me to tell him. I was so glad she did. He was vile, shouting and yelling, demanding to know why he'd wasted so much time and money on training me (they'd given me no formal training) and how dare I fuck off and drop them in it like that etc etc.

The hr manager was visibly shocked with his behaviour. But, he owned the company so nothing she could do but try and calm him down. I am so glad I left that place.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss · 07/05/2023 06:31

I had a toxic boss. He was the reason for my resignation after a job I loved for a decade. I wrote an email explaining I was giving notice of my resignation (3 months) no apology or explanation. It was the right thing to do no emotion
I also Cc'd HR lead.

briansgardenshed · 07/05/2023 06:53

Just send a short professional email and get on with your life. Point scoring is a waste of your time and rarely has the impact we think it has

tanstaafl · 07/05/2023 07:32

briansgardenshed · 07/05/2023 06:53

Just send a short professional email and get on with your life. Point scoring is a waste of your time and rarely has the impact we think it has

Agreed.
Move on and devote your thoughts to your future.

Original poster
IDontLikeMondays88 · 07/05/2023 14:30

Thanks all

I sent a short email saying that I’d been considering my options recently and had come to the decision to hand in my notice. Please consider this email my formal notice.

Id accepted an offer of employment elsehwhere which I felt was a better long term fit for me.

the last part was probably more than was needed by hey ho.

I was polite and to the point.

not sure what the reaction was as I’ve not checked my emails over the weekend.

just quite nervous he may make my life miserable during my notice period.

OP posts:
toucaninjapan · 08/05/2023 03:32

Good for you OP! Can you use any annual leave to minimize the time you have to spend working with him?