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Original poster

Long commuting and dream job

37 replies

Fairy91 · 03/05/2023 19:03

Hello

I need some advice.

I found the perfect job in Hereford but I live in Worcester (UK) which is an hour away and I am very crap at driving. To say the least, I found it stressful. I'm just not good at driving for such a long time every day. Apart from that, it is expensive. I checked for the trains but they are at impossible times. I don't know what to do. I also bought a house 3 years ago in Worcester and only now I started to be more stable with my life in general and I don't want to move.
Any ideas or suggestions before I turn down my dream job?

OP posts:
Tuftytail · 03/05/2023 19:07

Honestly, you’ll get used to it fairly quickly and become a more confident driver. I’m not keen on driving but did a 90 mile each way commute for 2 years because it was my dream job. You can do this. Worcester to Hereford is not a massive commute. You may even be able to find a lift share. Good luck

Mortimercat · 04/05/2023 04:13

Well on paper it looks like a fairly easy commute to me. Do you know what the road conditions are like?

Aposterhasnoname · 04/05/2023 04:39

You’ll get used to it. I was the in the exact same boat, but took the plunge and now don’t think twice about the long drive. As for the cost, can you get a more economical car maybe?

JandalsAlways · 04/05/2023 04:58

I agree with PP re driving. If it's the same route all the time, it'll be no big deal in no time. Don't give up so easily on your dream job, they're almost impossible to find!!

Original poster
Fairy91 · 04/05/2023 07:03

It's mainly country side road, not the easy straight motorway

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairy91 · 04/05/2023 07:04

I bought my car without leasing full price and it is a diesel. I don't think I can afford one atm as I am a student still :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairy91 · 04/05/2023 07:06

Omg how did you get used to it? I don't know why but it really stress me and I suffer with bad anxiety. Sometimes I'm even scared to go in the car with others because I constantly worry I'll get involved in a car accident. I hate my brain

OP posts:
Careerdilemma · 04/05/2023 07:06

Would a period of doing this job make it easier to get a similar job closer to home in the longterm? It might be worth sucking it up to strengthen your CV whilst doing a job you love.

ZenNudist · 04/05/2023 07:12

It would be a shame to lose a good job because you're scared of driving. An hours drive isn't much.

I used to be a nervous driver and hated motorway driving and didn't want to drive long distances. I forced myself to do it because I didn't want to end up limited like my mum who relies on my dad to drive her places. Now I am much better

Mortimercat · 04/05/2023 07:12

Fairy91 · 04/05/2023 07:03

It's mainly country side road, not the easy straight motorway

Motorway driving is more stressful though isn’t it? A nice country road for less than an hour, perfect.

Careerdilemma · 04/05/2023 07:19

How about enlisting a driving instructor to do the route with you a few times to help you build confidence?

Careerdilemma · 04/05/2023 07:23

And the trains seem to be around hourly. Could you not make that work? What would your start and finish time be?

Original poster
Fairy91 · 04/05/2023 07:28

If they are willing to let me start at 9 and finish at 5 yes

OP posts:
Tuftytail · 04/05/2023 07:57

I got used to it by just doing it. We get more anxious by avoiding things which give us anxiety. You’ll be driving on country roads with variable speeds. The biggest risk is being stuck behind a tractor so allow yourself plenty of time. You don’t have to overtake as long as you allow people behind you to. It’s a very pretty route especially at this time of year so enjoy the view.

SheilaFentiman · 04/05/2023 08:01

I am not a confident driver but you do get more confident as you get used to a route. You willl be starting in summer so that’s good for light. Can you try the route in the middle of the day? Stop as often as you want. Once you start, you may be able to WFH or work around train hours sometimes.

StillWantingADog · 04/05/2023 08:04

Is wfh some days a week a possibility?

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/05/2023 08:11

Tuftytail · 04/05/2023 07:57

I got used to it by just doing it. We get more anxious by avoiding things which give us anxiety. You’ll be driving on country roads with variable speeds. The biggest risk is being stuck behind a tractor so allow yourself plenty of time. You don’t have to overtake as long as you allow people behind you to. It’s a very pretty route especially at this time of year so enjoy the view.

This, it's probably necessary to do it daily for 3-6 months, then you can negotiate. As you say you are a student I am assuming that you are at the start of your career then you really need to demonstrate dedication and flexibility. If not now then when ?

waltzingparrot · 04/05/2023 08:14

If you get the job, negotiate your start time to fit with the trains so you always have the option of travelling by train.

Lcb123 · 04/05/2023 08:16

Definitely go for it - if you’re offered it, you could then discuss working hours which fit around the train times so you have that as an option. And maybe get some extra driving lessons to improve your confidence? can you work from home at all as well, so less commuting

Doggymummar · 04/05/2023 08:16

Do you have the job yet? If not then you are worried needlessly. You can do the drive no problems there may be flexibility to WFH a couple of days, you might have a colleague in the next Street to you who will take you. You passed your test, you are a good enough driver.

Catlord · 04/05/2023 08:29

An hour isn't too bad door to door and you'll get used to it. If it's a really great prospect and there aren't any equally good alternatives coming up I would grab it, give yourself 6 months to see how you get on and if you hate the commute, look closer to home. It's a nice time of year to do that as you'll be starting with long days for driving there/ home. Can you WFH at all? 2 days will make a big difference.

Catlord · 04/05/2023 08:30

Either way, apply if you haven't already. If you really can't face it then back out but give yourself the chance. Maybe do the route with a companion a couple of times.

JobChangeSoonPlease · 04/05/2023 08:47

OP - I have a similar anxiety about road accidents and even though I've been a driver for nearly 30 years with no accidents - I do not look forward to long drives. I'm nervous even as a passenger. Last year I was in the exact same position - dream job, 55 miles by motorway. After a lot of deliberation and sleepless nights (I was super stressed thinking of motorway driving), I turned it down. Can't say I don't regret not taking the job, but I am more than happy to have not signed up for the driving (even though it was just once a week). We all have different anxieties - you can't expect other people to understand yours like you do. Do what makes you happiest.

JandalsAlways · 04/05/2023 08:51

Mortimercat · 04/05/2023 04:13

Well on paper it looks like a fairly easy commute to me. Do you know what the road conditions are like?

I used to hate driving too, I would often take taxis but I got used to it. Practice make perfect. Take a defensive driving course to give you some more confidence

HunterHearstHelmsley · 04/05/2023 09:21

The train cost would probably be about £340 a month (from memory) so driving would be the best option. Isn't it pretty much A roads from Worcester to Hereford? It's been a while since I did the drive but pretty much A44, A449 most of the way.

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