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Original poster

Do you think this would be possible?

16 replies

greengreengrassssss · 02/05/2023 11:08

I'm looking at going back to work, after raising dc's. I was think night time work would be best as I'm still here during the day so there is no disruption to partner or kids lives. The job is 2-6 four mornings a week. The plan is wake at 1 to get ready go to job (taxi) , come home bus/ walk (don't drive) take youngest to school, take dog for walk. Do all the stuff that needs doing at home. Pick youngest up, make dinner. Put youngest to bed around 9 and then go to sleep. Do people reckon this would be doable? I would have around 4 hours of sleep on the nights I would be in work. Cant sleep during the day as I would be working I wouldn't be wake up to pick youngest dc up.
I do have a dp but he wouldn't do any house work, so that's why I though nights would work rather than trying to fit everything In during the day

OP posts:
leopardspice · 02/05/2023 11:12

For me absolutely NOT

Your H should be picking up his fair share of the housework

You would be exhausted!

Xanadu58 · 02/05/2023 11:29

It sounds OK written down but the reality would , I think be very different. You'd need some sleep during the day , even if it was just until lunchtime. I think for this to work , your DP would have to help out in some way or you would be trying to catch up on your day off /weekend.

ilovesooty · 02/05/2023 11:31

Why won't your partner do his part to maintain the house in which you all live in order to facilitate employment you can do?

updin · 02/05/2023 11:32

Why are you worried about disrupting your partner's life, look up the definition of partner!

BooksAndHooks · 02/05/2023 11:33

Having to work nights and having 4 hours sleep because your husband won’t do housework? That is completely unacceptable. I wouldn’t even consider this. If you are both working then household chores and children are a joint responsibility.

CindersAgain · 02/05/2023 11:33

No. That sounds awful.

Is DP not happy with you going back to work?

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 02/05/2023 11:33

For me no. Id struggle to sleep at that time. What if your child doesnt go down at 9? Would you start stressing thinking I need to get sleep. I do that. After night shift home at 8, I sleep after I take DD to school until I pick her up. I set more than one alarm so I dont miss it and make sure I set it 2 hours before she's finished so I wake up in time.

Original poster
greengreengrassssss · 02/05/2023 11:35

Thanks for the replies, I'm just going off his previous behaviour when I have been ill, I had covid very badly and couldn't do anything and he didn't lift a finger for the whole time I was ill. currently I do everything in the house and with the kids. Cos I'm at home. But I no this won't change when I go back to work

OP posts:
LaLaLaNotListeningNotListening · 02/05/2023 11:38

No.

I have a friend that worked 10pm-5am stacking shelves where her DC were small. She’d go home & have a couple of hours, do the school run then have a few more hours. Once youngest was in full days it was easier as she could sleep from 9 ish-2:30 but she was like the walking dead, I don’t know how she did it so long.

You would be better working 7pm -12am in a bar or something tbh. Your DP is an arse though if he won’t do his share.

Mrsjayy · 02/05/2023 11:40

4 hours sleep a night is ridiculous I don't think I could do it long term

ameliaandme · 02/05/2023 11:57

I think realistically it wouldn't be very pleasant hours and you would need support from your family to do it and not get exhausted.

Doing shift work can really mess with your internal clock and can wear you down alot, you really need to get proper sleep too.

I use to do shift work, I'd start at 8pm and finish at 8am few days a week and im sure my young baby daughter knew as she would always puke or be teething or as she got older be ill on those particular days !

I have a very supportive partner and we worked together to make these hours work.

Sounds like you're trying to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm, should think of yourself a bit more x

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/05/2023 12:04

Are you looking to build up funds so that you can leave your unsupportive partner? If so, I can understand you considering this.

If not, then frankly fuck the idea of not disrupting his life. Why on earth should you miss out on sleep so that he doesn't have to pick up his fair share of the domestic load?

I presume you realise that his attitude is not normal behaviour? And that most women choosing to go back to work are not forced into a position where the only option will have a seriously negative impact on their own health and wellbeing?

If you're planning an exit strategy and this is the only way, then good luck to you. If you're just being a martyr, then stop.

eurochick · 02/05/2023 12:07

Four hours of sleep is not enough. You would be exhausted.

SquirrellyTheSquirrel · 02/05/2023 12:10

This is a ridiculous plan.

Your husband is ridiculous.

Why do you want to stay with someone who would prefer you torturing yourself with four hours sleep a night rather than actually for his share?

Are the children his?

WaterBaby9 · 02/05/2023 12:14

My friend tried this. The kids had so many days off school
Due to sickness, doubled with events at school which required her to be there, there was so many days she couldnt get any day time sleep as they werent in school or other things came up.. she also said it was harder to sleep in the day time because generally things are noiser, postman, deliveries, neighbours, builders. She was like a zombie

FusionChefGeoff · 02/05/2023 12:20

Agree a late evening shift 7pm to 11ish would be much better

Also agree you DH sounds awful

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