So confused about career decision

[Internationalwomendayheadquarters]

Been a SAHM for a couple of years now. DC are still young (primary and nursery age)

I’m now at a crossroads in my career and I’ve got two options:

a) go back to secondary teaching (fulfilling but tough, long hours, steady career, easier for childcare over holidays)

b) manage my own holiday let (have two houses that I am setting up in V lucrative area for holiday cottages; do all changeovers myself, more flexibility)

I’ve ruled out doing both btw as that logistically wouldn’t work for me.

I just don’t know what to do. I think the DC would be much happier if I did b) but we’d be financially better off if I did a)

Has anyone ever had a similar decision?

B doesn't sound like a career. What do you want out of life longer-term? If you want some career satisfaction for yourself, then B isn't going to do it. It's more of an extension of being a SAHM but with a couple more homes to manage. Financially you must be pretty well set up to have those properties so I'm not counting financial pressures as a major factor here, and the DC will be happy if you're happy so I wouldn't massively factor that in either, especially as teaching works well for parenting too. If there isn't another career you want to retrain for (which could potentially dovetail with the property letting), could you not go back to teaching part-time? Or use your teaching skills for another education-related role?

@Pinkdelight3 you are right with some of your points. Yes, financially we are just about comfortable and so we are not desperate for me to have a full time career like I once had.

The Q about what do I want out of life long term is a hard one because to be honest all I can really focus on at the moment is how to be really present for the kids. (one of them
has SEN but at the moment manages well in mainstream) Teaching is great in that I have the long holidays, but it’s harder during the weeks in terms time when I realistically need to work evenings and one day of the weekend.

I’ve been looking into another education based role but not in teaching, but I haven’t got any interviews yet after applying for a couple of positions. I think jobs outside of teaching but related are pretty sought after right now!

Understand how it is when your focus is all on the DC and your needs can get sidelined. It happens a lot, and apologies if this feels like a non-issue for you, but I'm very aware that the mum's career almost always takes the big hit in these situations which has more downsides longer term for everything from personal fulfilment to pensions and just an overall lack of options. Presume your DP is the bigger earner, hence you being the SAHM and focusing on the DC, but that's not a given forever, going forward, and while you're feeling the need to be present for the DC as a priority, it might be time to re-balance things so the onus is always on you and your DP is present more of the time so that you can have more of a career now or when you find the right opportunity.

Not making any judgments about your DP, they may be super supportive and hands on etc etc., but just picking up on this limiting factor in your choices - around still having to be the main carer - and it might be helpful, while you're at this decision point about your future career - to keep things more open and think about what you really want to be doing, not just now but when the DC are older, and make decisions and plans for work and family based more on that, rather than the current situation. Seems like your A is What You Have Been Doing as SAHM with a Bit More so keeping the status quo and your B is What You Were Doing Before so going back to it but with a bit more mum guilt. As you're educated, qualified, capable and reasonably secure financially, I'd be taking a broader view and even consider a chat with a decent career coach to consider all options, based on your own life goals not just on your DC and £. At the very least, it could help clear up any confusion and be more strategic.

*the onus isn't always on you

This is really interesting for me as I am in a similar dilemma except I’m further on than you in terms of being a SAHM. (Didnt work out the answers myself yet!!)

I would agree that running a holiday let is more like the menial side of being a SAHM, I’ve also wondered about doing similar or having an Airbnb etc. but I think I need something where I am professional and not more caring roles…

People have advised me to try and work out what I want to be doing in a decade and work towards that. The temptation is to return to the work I was doing (teaching) but I always knew that classroom teaching had a limited life for me.

It is SO difficult, anyway, I’m following with interest!

I’ve got to say that Pinkdelight3 has really been very helpful in those posts. Very clear sighted!

Could you do some tutoring whilst managing your holiday lets? That way you keep up your teaching skills, earn a bit extra money but also pick the hours that suit you being eith your children.

Is part time teaching an option? Reduces the need for evening and weekend working, but keeps you in the professional role, with the possibility of increasing your days when the kids are older?

I'd personally go back to teaching, possible part time hours. And pay a management company to manage the holiday lets so you get at least some income, but don't have to do the work. The teaching is a career with prospects/promotion which should benefit you long term.

@Pinkdelight3 thank you so much for your brilliant advice.

I could do (and did a few years ago) but to be honest I just don’t think tutoring is for me. I really enjoy being a classroom teacher and find tutoring a real grind. I know some ppl are the other way round but that’s just me.