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Original poster

Autism and Work Experience

35 replies

Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 10:37

Hi, I am the mum of a high-functioning autistic 18 yo girl. She was diagnosed last year, she is the shy, introverted type. She missed on work experience opportunities during the pandemic, and missed a year of A levels due to a physical condition that landed her in hospital, so she is now in the first year of A levels. She hardly gets out and has very litte contact with people other than when she is in college, and I know she does not have much contact with other students there.
I believe she needs a part time job urgently, to get used to the outside world. I am having to push for this as she has no initiative and my husband is not exactly proactive either.
I urged her to apply for a job in a local supermarket but she did not pass the first interview. I believe she has problems communicating and probably showed 0 enthusiasm about the job. She is also gender dysphoric and presents like a boy, but has kept her girls name. I have no idea how she navigates this socially, being shy and zero assertive, even in her gait and posture. I am very worried, and would like some advice from other parents that may have kids with these autistic traits.

OP posts:
swanling · 30/04/2023 10:45

If she's not coping with social contact at college, why exactly do you think that disparaging her and forcing her into a workplace setting is going to help?

Your approach seems destructive.

What professional support has she had or have access to?

Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 10:46

She has been seeing a therapist once a week, for a couple of years.

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Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 10:49

The problem she has had at school was bullying. Kids her age have been and are arseholes for the most part. I believe contact with a wider sector of the population would show her not everyone is like that.

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Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 10:52

She wants a job, as she wants to be independent. We have talked about it, and she is sure of this. She says she wants to live by herself, and a cat. She has no self confidence though, after so many years of suffering at secondary school.

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bennybobo · 30/04/2023 10:55

Could you get her into some volunteering first before diving straight into job hunting? It will help her with the soft skills she needs and will build up some confidence.

CovetedAsFuck · 30/04/2023 10:57

I get what you’re saying, but workplaces aren’t there to facilitate people ‘getting used to the outside world’.

She should only apply for a job if she actually wants it and believes she could do it.

alyceflowers · 30/04/2023 10:58

I'd look at volunteering a few hours once a week in a charity shop - more likely to be a supportive, low pressure environment.

TheSnowyOwl · 30/04/2023 11:01

I agree about volunteering and it could be that you need to make the first approach to do some admin or social media work for a charity or local cause and then gradually make it be known that she is taking over from you. It will give her confidence, boost her CV and give her an idea of what to expect. Some animal rescue centres will have volunteers to walk their dogs etc.

My ASD DD can’t talk to strangers so I have no idea how she is going to find a job in the future so this is the route we are planning. I hope it works out for your child.

Soontobe60 · 30/04/2023 11:03

I agree, forcing her into getting a job is counter productive. Don’t try to make her into something she isn’t. Also, the term ‘high functioning autistic’ is a misnomer. She sounds like shes struggling in some social interactions, that indicates that she’s not ‘high functioning’.
Leaver he be; let her socialise with whomever she gets along with. BUT… monitor her use of the internet. Far too many autistic girls end up being swallowed up by the gender identity cult. Presenting ‘as a boy’ doesn’t mean she IS a boy. She’s most likely trying to hide her femaleness.

ThisSingleMama · 30/04/2023 11:06

Well if she didn't get to next stage with her first internet could you not work with that?

Ask her interview questions,role play etc

RegainingTheWill2023 · 30/04/2023 11:06

As a mum of autistic dd(18) my question would be "Does your dd actually have capacity to cope with a job and A levels at the same time?"
From the history you've given, she has had a really challenging few years including getting a significant health problem, ASD diagnosis and dealing with bullying ... That's a lot!
I'm assuming she's no longer at the same school and so she's had to start at college as well?
I agree with pps that smaller steps to her goal of independence may be needed.
How much does she understand about her autism? How does she feel about that? Are there any opportunities for her to access some peer mentoring from another autistic teen/young person?
Does she have any interests? How could these support her in perhaps volunteering at some point etc.

ThisSingleMama · 30/04/2023 11:06

*interVIEW!!!

Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:11

Thank you. Volunteering is a good idea. Yes, the "high functioning" thing is misleading. She isn't at all, in practical terms, although academically she managed good grades, and we were told she had potential. A shame her Secondary School were shit at protecting her from direct and digital bullying and were more preocuppied in leaving here alone with her "trans" fixation, while actively teaching gender bollocks, working towards Stonewall awards and teaching kids zero practical skills.

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Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:14

RegainingTheWill2023 · 30/04/2023 11:06

As a mum of autistic dd(18) my question would be "Does your dd actually have capacity to cope with a job and A levels at the same time?"
From the history you've given, she has had a really challenging few years including getting a significant health problem, ASD diagnosis and dealing with bullying ... That's a lot!
I'm assuming she's no longer at the same school and so she's had to start at college as well?
I agree with pps that smaller steps to her goal of independence may be needed.
How much does she understand about her autism? How does she feel about that? Are there any opportunities for her to access some peer mentoring from another autistic teen/young person?
Does she have any interests? How could these support her in perhaps volunteering at some point etc.

Yes, she is in a different school for A levels. The autism diagnosis helped her immensely, and she is doing a Psychology A level. She has not many interests that I know of except manual things, like digital art and sewing. She is certain she wants a manual job. I am glad she is getting things clear about herself. I think she is discovering herslef now., and this gives me hope.

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Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:17

ThisSingleMama · 30/04/2023 11:06

Well if she didn't get to next stage with her first internet could you not work with that?

Ask her interview questions,role play etc

Yes, I already asked her what happened, and gave her a couple of pointers of what NOT to say.
The trouble is I myself am shit at interviews. I have lost my job recently, after 20 years in the same company. I have an excellent CV, got some interviews and got rejected after all of them. I seem to have trouble presenting myself, so not the best example for my daughter.

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RegainingTheWill2023 · 30/04/2023 11:23

Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:14

Yes, she is in a different school for A levels. The autism diagnosis helped her immensely, and she is doing a Psychology A level. She has not many interests that I know of except manual things, like digital art and sewing. She is certain she wants a manual job. I am glad she is getting things clear about herself. I think she is discovering herslef now., and this gives me hope.

Show quote history

Art and sewing are brilliant interests.
Your dd may find these a source of online social interaction. Interest groups, Facebook groups etc.
Could she make anything to sell to raise money e.g.for a charity? Or to donate to a charity shop?

Anewuser · 30/04/2023 11:25

Agree with others.

She has autism - so struggles with communication. She’s doing her A levels (at a different age to her peers). She’s had medical difficulties. All of this is going to make her life harder.

Don’t push her into employment, it will probably be too much for her at the moment. I know you want something on her CV but if she can’t hold down a job that would be worse than no employment.

I would also suggest volunteering. Would say a cats home if that’s what interests her. Or rescue, RSPCA? Cinnamon Trust?

Good luck. She’s lucky to have you.

SomeRolyPolyLittleBatFacedGirl · 30/04/2023 11:26

The charity Ambitious About Autism have some work experience opportunities - https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/what-we-do/employment/paid-work-experience/work-experience-opportunities

SusannahHolmes · 30/04/2023 11:34

I came across this free downloadable resource recently - it has questionnaires the young person fills in and then generates some independence skills they would like to work on (and then provides guidance on how to help). I think it's a great resource.

https://www.oneeducation.co.uk/user/pages/06.resources/1260.a-post14-personal-development-programme/Post%2014%20personal%20development%20programme%20final.pdf

https://www.oneeducation.co.uk/user/pages/06.resources/1260.a-post14-personal-development-programme/Post%2014%20personal%20development%20programme%20final.pdf

Mushroomofficeglass · 30/04/2023 11:40

Dc1 has asd and couldn't get a job and didn't get on well at school.
Got a volunteer job aged 16 and they saw potential offered some adhoc paid hours. This helped confidence and went onto get a job in a shop which the interviewer said the volunteering/work ethic gave advantage.

When dc left college got a full time job, it was like having a different child once they'd left school. They've excelled at work and been paid to get further education in the field.
The social side is still a problem but manage the work well. One thing with all the volunteering/jobs have in common is routine/knowing what's expected of them and confidence they can do it.
It's just a matter of getting dd to the end of her course and then there's much more choice/adaptions that can be made than in school. I'm going to be in a similar position with dc2 I feel (I can see it coming) I think this time I'll probably be more relaxed and concentrate on getting dc to the other end of education and therefore a world that dc can mould to suit their strengths and weaknesses (unlike the education system).

Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:41

Thank you, I realise I am trying to push too much. I had a late start into employment and zero help from my mother, while my friends got help from their parents and had a more straightforward, smooth transition to employment. I want to help my daughter, and maybe I am panicking and forcing it.
The oneeducation PDP looks good, thank you.

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Original poster
Wolf68 · 30/04/2023 11:42

Thank you eveyrone for your advice and resources.

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AutumnCrow · 30/04/2023 11:45

I live in a city so this might not apply to you, @Wolf68, but we have a charity that provides apprenticeships in practical skills like bike repairs and carpentry/joinery specifically for young people with ASD.

We also have at least two charities that I know pretty well that run ventures like cafés which offer part-time shifts to young people with additional needs such as ASD, and they ensure a more protective environment is in play than in in other establishments. So for example, is a member of the public is being a sod then the manager swoops in and deals with it straight away - there is no bullying allowed at all and the watchwords are 'tolerance' and 'patience'.

Interestingly the cafés also double up as art spaces for sculptures, fine art and textiles, for display and sale, so something like that might suit your daughter well.

Good luck to both of you Flowers

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 11:50

does she have a TA? we have organised work experience for some children who need a lot of support, and their TA has attended all or part of it with them.

I agree "high functioning" is a misleading label in autism, as it implies these people have fewer problems than others with autism. That isn't the case, they are frequently much more aware and conscious of their differences, and this can make life much harder for them, than it is for people who are NOT self conscious and self aware.

How about doing some voluntary work with her yourself? How about joining a local litter pick, or conservation group, or volunteer gardening group? Lots of parks, reserves and public gardens have volunteer groups at the weekend.

Nimbostratus100 · 30/04/2023 11:52

I see you say she likes sewing? How about the two of you volunteering behind the scenes at a local Am Dram society? They always seem to need people to adjust costumes. If you explain the situation to them, they might be understanding, and take you both on, with the understanding that if she cant cope you might not stay?