I work at a fully remote high growth start up. I was personally recruited not long after they started up by the man who is my manager, who I knew in a professional capacity beforehand. Two years on and the company has expanded by about 4x and he is on the senior leadership team.
Not long after I started I realised that he and I do not have similar professional styles. He is the living embodiment of the Peter Principle, a very charismatic and a brilliant showman, but lacks strategic thinking, leadership ability and management skills (first time manager, no formal management training). There have been a couple of incidences where I've covered for him, when I've pointed out risks, he minimised and then I was left to deal with the fallout.
In mid-Feb, I highlighted something that was going to blow up in the near future (we are expanding a function, which leads onto a function in my area, which needs scaling to cope) and again got told to ignore it. This time I just kept pushing back, leading to a bit of a row.
Since then he has been making veiled digs in public team meetings (I dont think the other team members pick up on them, but I do), actively undermining some of my work, in petty and "funny" ways and implying in private meetings on a number of occasions that I am only experiencing issues because I have mental health issues (I dont actually have MH issues, I just find stressful things stressful). and its clear that he would prefer someone else in my role
I approached the Head of Staffing at the end of March, saying that I needed more support, that I didn't think my current role was right for me, and that I felt that I needed to transition to a new role or organisation. She immediately offered me a senior position in a related area that they are recruiting for. I turned it down, as I didnt feel I was in a place to take it on, so she then instigated weekly meetings with my manager for "support". I dread these these meetings, they are the polar opposite of support. I had only been coping up to that stage by minimising interactions, my self-confidence is shredded every single time.
Last week, he sent me a meeting invite to discuss my role. The meeting on Monday started with him telling me that HoS had mentioned that I was thinking of leaving and had I given it further thought. I said that I wanted to transition out by the end of Summer (what i regret leaving unsaid tho, was that I was hoping that something suitable came up internally in the interim). His response was "Well, that makes this very easy then", and immediately jumped into offering me a reference, and general off-boarding, suggesting that it was a good idea that I took some time out and "dealt with my issues".
I messaged HoS after a few hours confirming that I was leaving (I kindof wish I hadnt but I just cannot work with him). She said manager had already told her this, and that they had discussed timings. We met on Wed and she said they had agreed mid-May as a leaving date and we started going through off-boarding admin. I was a bit blindsided tbh, and just went along with it.
I am really very upset. There is now a new person in the role that I was previously offered, and at a team meeting on Thursday, they mentioned expanding his area, (which I was kindof hoping would happen and I could nab a role in that area under his management).
TBH, I feel like I've been constructively dismissed in quite an underhand way and from a few comments that the HoS said, I am 99.9% certain that my manager has implied to HoS that [personal reasons that I dont want to share with her but have told him about] are why I am resigning.
Am I too far gone to explicitly ask for a role change under different management and walk back my resignation?