Getting my work mojo back/going back FT

[FixItDuck]

Before DC, I was very ambitious, worked long hours and loved it.

After having DC, for a variety of reasons too boring to go in here, I ended up PT in a role that was great in some ways (kept my hand in, very family friendly) but not so much in others (not much progression, all WFH so a bit isolated) and being the main carer for DC (DH did what he could but travels a lot so I ended up default parent and all the rest of it).

My DC are now teens and I've just been offered a FT role in a job I would love to do and in which there are all sorts of possibilities for progression. I'm thrilled and I'm confident that I can make it work with my other commitments. But I'm a bit nervous after effectively soft-pedalling for so long- am I going to be able to get the old me back again? I'd love some advice on returning and how to make a success of it. I've been reading around and everything seems focused on the home part ("batch cook so you don't have to cook after work!" etc etc) but I'm sort of looking for the opposite of that- I feel I need a kick up the bum to shake off the part of myself that's always in charge of what's for dinner, and to get a bit more of the old ambitious me back.

Any tips? Any books you'd recommend?

Good idea for a thread. I have recently done this. My two tips are the Squiggly Careers podcast has lots on confidence and imposter syndrome and pushing yourself a bit further in the workplace. Also if you aren’t already switch to online food shops, get your teens to input what they want for lunches etc and then order it to arrive for a time you are at work but other members of the family are at home with the expectation that they will put it away!

Watching for tips! Have just accepted a FT professional role after a decade of juggling PT wfh work with childcare, I’m itching to get started but the enormity of the change in pace is starting to hit. . .

I actually wouldn't think about it as trying to get the "old you" back so much as developing a "new you" - the old you existed in a specific time and place that has gone, chasing the past is a path to misery. How have you grown since becoming a parent? Who do you want to be in the present? What qualities do you want to harness? Don't underestimate the new you.

Do you have particular goals for where you want this role to take you?

Is part of your question about how to stop being the "default parent"? Or do you just mean in terms of shifting your mindset to view yourself differently?

I think some of it is down to sorting the domestic so your brain and focus is free for work. I did it 2 years ago and loving the extra dimension to life again.
Yes - on line shopping. I actually have 2 orders a week (I have a delivery pass) - one Tuesday early morning, one Friday early morning. This means I always have fresh veg in or en route and I very, very rarely need to do any top up shops.
Washing on first thing on a timer, so it finishes when I get in from work - and gets shoved in the tumble dryer/airer
Yes batch cooking - but not in a slaving over a slow cooker at the weekends. Just anything you are cooking, make double. It does not take double the time. And/or use the oven heat. So last weekend whilst I was baking a birthday cake and roasting some veg for Saturday dinner, I had cooking in the oven a massive lentil and cauliflower curry which was enough for 16 portions. Apart from the quick sauteing at the start,it looked after itself (I just a shoved it in the oven to do the "simmering" cooking bit of the recipe - so my active involvement was minimal). But this means I had/had 4 evenings of not having to think about dinner - Anyone in the family can heat curry, quick tomato/onion/cucumber salad and some chapatis...done.
Packed lunches - we freeze either sandwiches (not as grim as it sounds and DS is paid for making 10 up each weekend) or soup in the winter (DS paid for heating and pouring into flasks each morning) so he and DD sorted for lunches. DD does the chickens every morning

Anyway, sorry, waffled there. Because the domestic stuff takes less focus I am on it at work. Whilst P/T, the work was not fulfilling, so I strived for "domestic excellence" iyswim. Now, the work fulfils me, so "good enough" is good enough domestically. And because I have adjusted routines/shared responsibilities at home/lowered my expectations at home, I have the bandwidth to kick arse at work.

Just realised my cauliflower curry thing did read exactly like I slaved over the slow cooker all weekend just to shove stuff in the freezer.....but it was meant to show I spent about 15 minutes with the prep (bag of frozen cauli/frozen onion/lentils/stock in a pan and let it do it's stuff) and only did it then as I had the oven on, so just using the heat of the oven. I could have just as easily cooked it for Monday's dinner - same quantity - and had 12 portions to freeze.

Thank you, all! Have signed up to the Squiggly podcast.

@swanling Very interesting post and it's made me think generally about the nature of returning to something after a number of years and the idea that you can't step into the same river twice.