How can I help colleagues going through menopause?

[elizabethrosa]

I have a colleague who I line manage who is going through the menopause.

She is excellent at her job and has a great track record. We have always had a positive relationship.

Recently the menopause has been having an effect on her mental health. Her confidence is rock bottom, she seems to think everyone is out to get her, that every piece of feedback is negative and that she’s not important at work.

I am so worried about her, but I don’t really know what to do to support her. I have reassured her that she is brilliant at her job, that I am here to help, we’ve talked about ways to manage the brain fog and I’ve tried to reassure her. I think she is on HRT but I don’t really know enough about how this works. I’ve made sure she has paid time off for all medical appointments.

I would really appreciate it if anyone could share any advice as to how I can support my colleague. Many thanks.

i wish you were my line manager I think you are doing brilliantly by being available and listening. I need stupid amounts of reassurance but I get silence I only hear from management when there’s a problem. Really kills your confidence.

Thank you. That’s really kind. I am worried that she doesn’t think like that - she’s pulled away recently from talking to me, so I’m worried she thinks I don’t have her back. I told her I’m here to support and protect. But I’m not sure the message has got across (not trying to blame her for this, I know it’s difficult when mental health is involved).

It’s actually starting to really piss me off how women are treated in the workplace with menopause. It feels like there’s nowhere near the level of protection that there needs to be.

balance-menopause.com/uploads/2021/09/Menopause-and-the-workplace.pdf
Some helpful stuff here. I've signposted lots of colleagues and friends to the balance info

We've got some guidance for managers at work. It's really good, out together by our Women's Network. I'll see if there are any links to public websites for you tomorrow.

I think I would have resented such intrusion from a line manager.

I would also find it intrusive whilst accepting that you are trying to be kind and inclusive

I understand that some women have issues going through menopause, but so do some women having periods or endometriosis
We don’t generally give them special treatment, make sure they are getting extra feedback etc, I think it would be seen as weird.

I think treat all staff the same in terms of giving positive feedback.
if staff do confide in you about medical/hormonal matters then treat these matter of factedly and be led by what they say.

Notice all the good things she does which will help her confidence.
For me a big problem has been brain fog. I really wish people would give me notes/lists rather than just ask me to do something verbally as I can forget.
Also I can have very heavy periods and sometimes just have to rush to the loo as I can feel it flooding.
Hot flushes are tricky as I feel it’s not me that’s hot but the room. I would like the window open sometimes but realise others probably don’t!
It’s great you are being so supportive OP.

Also re your employee - as with any physical, medical or or other health issue, this should be dealt with via your Occupational Health team/advisor

There's a standard coming out about this

https://standardsdevelopment.bsigroup.com/projects/2022-02009#/section

Any area of diversity is about your workplace culture, not one specific individual. You should be inclusive from the get go rather than reactive.

Think through all the issues that might affect menopausal women (need for more toilet accessibility and breaks, ability to sit down if desired, better ventilation, flexible hours, counselling support etc) lots of these things can benefit other groups too like older workers, people with disabilities, pregnant women etc

So you might identify improvements to your workplace, as well as training on diversity that covers menopause. Depending on the size of your company you could have a menopause champion.

Thank you for all of your comments, they’re really helpful.
I am going to take the links to HR tomorrow and suggest we look at a company wide policy.
Occupational health are involved; I rightly don’t know anything beyond that, I’m just trying to help make her daily work easier.
I am not trying to be intrusive, I am trying to be supportive, which is what I try to do when any member of my team is dealing with anything. I just recognise that I don’t know enough about menopause.

If Occ Health have any recommendations they should let you know.
I know you aren’t trying to be intrusive, I was just musing really on how we are all meant to be aware of menopause but not many other issues/conditions.

As a workplace we do loads for other areas, but we’re quite reactive - things tend to come into place when they arise, definitely something we need to work on

So would I. Very much so.

Get her a junior to do the ringing around the chemists every 3 months to see if her HRT script is in stock.