I can’t do it anymore

[DeadBlossom]

I just don’t think I can do this any more. I have a really stressful job and I’m sat here shaking because I don’t know how I am going to get through next week. Can’t take any more sick leave. I’m on 3 months notice but I don’t know how to get through 3 more days. Dream of throwing phone and laptop in the sea. Not sure what I’m after really. (Someone to offer me a well paid non-stressful, fun job that I don’t spend all weekend dreading having to return to!).

I could have written this myself. Trouble is because of where we live, total lack of wraparound care and husband working an hour away, I need something that's fully remote and the only things I'm suitably qualified and experienced to do are the same thing I do at the moment that's making me ill. Can't really afford to take much of a pay cut either.

Not honestly sure what to do for the best but I'm trying to work out some sort of exit plan. I'm also on three months notice and every day I wonder if I can get through one more day without losing my shit and resigning with nothing to go to.

It's shit isn't it

Have you spoken to the GP about your work related stress and anxiety?
You can take sick leave, take extended leave if you have to, and use the time to look for a new position. It’s awful to feel that way about going to work, medication can help to a certain extent and may make this easier to deal with until you have a new job. If you are signed off with work related stress you could then ask for reasonable adjustments if you do return before starting. New position.

Thank you for replying. I feel so trapped. I spent years working flexibly around the family and I’ve worked hard to retrain and get myself back into a ‘good job’ with pension etc but I can’t bear it. I know life is too short to be this unhappy but i haven’t got the energy to start all over again for a second time!

You can’t stay as you are that’s for sure. It may all seem impossible now but to you will get through this, things will get better for you. Please speak to the GP, or someone has posted about an app where you can talk to someone via text, that might be worth a look.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feeling_depressed/4791531-real-time-mental-health-support-wangieapp-free

Hello 👋🏻
Massive empathy I've been there very recently - although with a shorter notice period.
If you have been there for any length of time I would really recommend being signed off with stress for two weeks.
In that first week rest. Nothing else. In the second week when you will be feeling a little bit better - get your CV don't, sign up to LinkedIn oremium for jobs and get some interviews lined up.
Seeing a way out and that there are other possibilities will help immensely. All you need to is to get to a better okace to restore your mental health. It doesn't have to be amazing, just good enough. When you are there you'll be able to make a longer plan. For now you need space and an exit plan

You need to speak to your employer about this as well. They should have systems to manage and support you. Struggling at work doesn't have to mean quitting or killing yourself trying to do the job. Speak to your manager, to a wellbeing officer if you have one, or ask for an urgent referral to occupational health. And you can do this now, even if you are off sick. Don't wait.

What sort of industry is it? It could help posters offer advice.

I am sorry for how you are feeling. Have been there.

I hope you are free from that feeling very soon.

What is the worst aspect? Can you think of anything to make it easier???

It sounds like you need to be signed off for a period. When you say ‘can’t take any more time off sick’ do you mean you’ve just been taking days here and there or you’ve been off for a period already?

Sending you lots of empathy, I'm in the same position myself.I too spent years working flexibly for DC doing all sorts of jobs.Recently returned to work FT in the same organisation and whilst I don't hate working FT the toxic culture/job/management is unbearable.Not been there long to no chance of sick leave but in the same position wondering what the heck I do moving forward.Watching with interest, look after yourself and keep us updated. 💛

Thanks everyone. I work in children’s safeguarding. I wanted to do something meaningful but while there are aspects of the job I enjoy, I am constantly behind, constantly stressed, terrified of getting something wrong. I am surrounded by misery. Can’t remember the last time I actually had any fun at work or felt like I’d actually achieved something. I have already had some time off sick and should never have gone back. I’ve had a panic attack this morning and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. No one is going to want to employ me.

Of course people will want to employ you.
How you are now isn't how you are as a human being. How you are now is someone who is temporarily unwell because their fight or flight system has become dysfunctional due to constant unmanageable conditions.
Take you out of those conditions and give some self regulation a chance to kick in and you will be able to see things more clearly

Hi everyone just coming back to update. Thank you for all the advice, I got signed off sick with stress for a week and have been resting. I was getting in such a panic and catastrophising everything and literally could not think straight. I am starting to feel better and calmer now.

I’ve decided that I can’t continue in my current role. I’m miserable and I don’t want to feel like this any more. Every job has its good and bad days of course but this level of relentless stress is making me ill. Enough! Hopefully something else will turn up. If the doctor will sign me off for another week then I’ll use the time to look for another job.

Thank you for being here and talking so much sense!

I am glad that your feeling more positive about your situation. You have a good plan now. Good luck op. 💐💐💐