Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

Original poster

Do I have to tell manager exactly what is wrong with me?

20 replies

MyNewName · 15/02/2008 23:38

I'm off sick this weekend and was made to feel pretty shit about it. I've been off sick 3 times in the last year, and that was due to side effects after starting ADs.

She really offended me, and kept on with what's wrong with me, told her my basic symtoms, and was told well that's not a good enough reason to be off sick etc. Now I don't want to tell her why I'm off sick as it's bloody personal. and I'm pretty sure I don't have to atuallyt tell her why it is, but not 100% on that,and can't be bothered trwling through all the stuff online to find out for certain.

I'm only (hopefully) going to be off for 3 days, and she's insisting I get asick note. I know she can't make me before 7 days, and I also know my docs won't give me a sick note before 7 days. I think she'll be arsey if I give her a self certification note, and I really can't be doing with this hassle at work.

OP posts:

Original poster

MyNewName · 16/02/2008 00:03

OP posts:

OverRated · 16/02/2008 00:07

I'm not sure if you have to say. I wouldn't have thought so but tricky if she's being so pushy. Can you say you think it is a bug or something?

goingbonkers · 16/02/2008 00:12

Sounds like your boss is a real bitch! She clearly doesn't have any people management skills!! If I were you I would tell her it's personal and if she wants a doctors note she will have to wait. If she makes any threats I would speak to Human Resources in confidence if poss. If you're ill, you're ill and she aint helping.

Fortunately I had a very supportive boss when I was off with anxiety and panic attacks a few years ago due to my violent and controlling exP.He only found out the full reason I was off when the Dr signed me off. He never asked any questions but said his door was always open if I needed to talk. Keep a note of all the things she says that you believe are unfair treatment. Good luck and hope you're better soon.

PeachesMcLean · 16/02/2008 00:15

So you're off work now due to ADs. And you'll be off for 3 days?

Do tell her why. Depression is nothing to be embarassed about.

I ahve a member of staff who has recently admitted to depression, she's now getting treatment for it, but makes me put her past performance into a different context. And this last week, her performance has been excellent, I'm really pleased for her.

How many days have you had off in total this year? If it's more than 10, that's when they start to take notice, is that why they're getting arsey?

goingbonkers · 16/02/2008 00:19

As for whether you have to tell them the reason - i'm not sure. Depends what your line of work is I think?? ie working with food - the shits are not so good!! If its something contageous they would prob need to know but if it's personal and can't effect anyone elses health etc I dont believe they can make you give details. You surely have a right to privacy. My Dr was really good when he wrote the sick note. He asked me how I wanted it writing ie; stress, depression, anxiety etc.

rookiemater · 16/02/2008 14:47

In our work if you don't feel comfortable discussing with your manager you can tell HR instead. Can you do this here, as it might be wise if your boss is being unpleasant about it.

Original poster

MyNewName · 16/02/2008 19:58

We don't have HR dept, so can't approach them. Have emailed my deputy as she is much more approachable.

OR, I don't think a bug would wash with her.

PM, It's not depression this time, I actually haven't taken my ADs since the day xp and I split over 5 mths ago.

The actual reason I'm off is because I have an sti , so yes, extremely personal, and it's making me really ill. Obviously I really don't want to tell her this.

It's really got to me because in a year I've had 3 days off sick. I'm alwyas on time (well early actually), I always stay to help others out, work my arse off every shift. I like my job, and it's quite often a relief to get to work after a hectic day at home. I'm a single parent, so having the weekend off not only means I lose my wages, but also about £200 in tips. She doesn't realise that having this weekend off means my mortgage will probably bounce next month.

OP posts:

bookwormmum · 16/02/2008 20:04

Say you have an infection - it's not untrue.

fletchaaarr · 16/02/2008 20:09

She can't ask for a note until the 7 days (or is it 5?)

DH had this from the his employers, and the docs were stressing that they couldn't ask for a docs note at all until that time.

The docs were quite unhappy about it

Crunchie · 16/02/2008 20:28

Well the evil inside me would make me want to tell her a total whopper as to what is wrong, with loads of gory symptoms/blood/pus whatever and especially something that will make her squerm.

It has to be in detail, really really embarassing and go on and on about your symptoms

Then when she wants you to stop, say Only joking

Rude bicth

flowerybeanbag · 17/02/2008 15:03

Are you getting any sick pay over and above SSP? If you are, it's perfectly legitimate for your manager to want to know more details and/or to demand a sick note earlier than 7 days.

If you are getting paid extra and they demand a doctor's note, it will probably say about their right to do so in your handbook or sickness absence policy. Your doctor may not do this free but they will usually do a sick note earlier for a fee. If your manager demands this you could ask for the company to pay the fee - they may or may not, but again, check the policy.

Original poster

MyNewName · 17/02/2008 17:09

Crunchie - the reality is pretty gruesome, could give her the real symptoms & that'd make her squirm!

fbb - I don't get sick pay at all. I'm gonna have to go down dole office to claim ssp. (THats a trip I'm not looking forward to, I hate that place)

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 17/02/2008 18:04

Why do you need to go to the dole office to get your ssp?

Original poster

MyNewName · 17/02/2008 18:14

Isn't that where you have to go to get it?

OP posts:

Original poster

MyNewName · 17/02/2008 18:15

Well get the form should I say. It's about 10 years since I last claimed ssp.

OP posts:

callmeovercautious · 17/02/2008 18:26

I am a bit rusty but here goes:

They can ask for a self certificate up to 7 days then they can ask for a Drs note. SSP kicks in after 3 days so if you are only off 3 you won't get any If you are off longer then SSP is paid by your employer in your wages.

On the Self Cert just put Infection and that you have seen the GP and have been treated. There should be options for that.

If they want to know more they will have to send you to Occupational Health (it they have it) for a report.

They can use the disciplinary procedure if you are off sick a lot and dismissal for being incapable of carrying out your duties is a fair reason. However your record is good so they should not go that route for 3 days (I certainly wouldn't).

Flowery will tell me if I am wrong but I am sure this info is correct Hope you feel better soon.

ruddynorah · 17/02/2008 18:39

tell her you have a UTI rather than an STI if that's better? why make it such a big deal?

flowerybeanbag · 17/02/2008 18:55

Spot on callme!

You shouldn't have to go anywhere to claim your SSP, see here about getting it. Your employer should either have their own self-cert form or should be able to provide you with the standard one, but according to the link, you can download something as well.

bookwormmum · 17/02/2008 20:46

You can also get self-cert forms from the doctors sometimes.

Original poster

MyNewName · 17/02/2008 21:44

cheers for your help.

Ruddynorah, just peed off that she gave me a load of grief about being off sick, when I work my arse off at work & am almost never off sick, my LOs are never ill either, so don't even have loads of time off to look after them.

OP posts:

Flip