Do I mention I’m not working but due to bereavement?

Cheekyfuckerseverywhere · 2023-04-16T17:26:12+00:00

Dh died last year, I gave up self employment to care for him and want to switch careers. But do I say I’m still self employed or admit I’m unemployed (but not claiming UC etc) when I apply?

TwigTheWonderKid · 16/04/2023 18:27

Just say you've been on carers' leave? Or do you not want to disclose that?

HappyHolidai · 16/04/2023 18:35

"Career break"

saraclara · 16/04/2023 18:38

If you're comfortable doing so, I'd just say that you took a career break to care for your late husband, and that you're now ready to get back into the workplace.

Bunnichick · 16/04/2023 18:40

I don't think you say you're self employed if you're not

tell the truth, say you took a career break to time off for personal reasons or tell the truth if you want to but without going into detail

Nimbostratus100 · 16/04/2023 18:42

Just tell the plain truth, took time off work to care for terminally ill relative

Original poster

Cheekyfuckerseverywhere · 16/04/2023 19:09

I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m lazy or unemployable. It’s been 6 months since he died. You don’t want to look flakey.

I want to go into a sector with a skills gap so I’m hoping someone will want to employ me.

I worry about references too, the bootcamp I did will give me a reference and so will my accountant but I’m still worrying.

OP posts:

lipstickwoman · 16/04/2023 19:16

Agree with @saraclara. Be honest and open. Any decent employer will be fine with that explanation. If they're not, don't work for them.

Random789 · 16/04/2023 19:16

I don't think you will look flakey. I'm sure that recruiters would understand that after a bereavement that has up-ended your life it takes a lot of time to get to the place where you are ready to move forward. They might even be a little concerned if you did not allow yourself enough time to work out your next steps.

So I would try to be confident about telling the truth, that you took a career break to care for your husband, and then took a sensible amount of time before applying for positions.,

itsgettingweird · 16/04/2023 19:18

Any potential employer that deserves you is not - absolutely not - going to think 6 months after your DH died you should have been back in the workplace for most of it.

I'd just say you were self employed, took time off to care for DH, he died 6 months again and now you're ready to work again.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 16/04/2023 19:21

I agree with others. Just be honest. 6 months is totally reasonable and understandable.

tailinthejam · 16/04/2023 19:25

How about something like you took a period of leave of absence after being widowed?

Quveas · 16/04/2023 19:26

Cheekyfuckerseverywhere · 16/04/2023 19:09

I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m lazy or unemployable. It’s been 6 months since he died. You don’t want to look flakey.

I want to go into a sector with a skills gap so I’m hoping someone will want to employ me.

I worry about references too, the bootcamp I did will give me a reference and so will my accountant but I’m still worrying.

As a recruiting manager, I'd prefer you told me the truth. It wouldn't count against you at all, but I'll also not be wondering what "career break" might be covering up. It also means that if you are the successful person I can ensure you get any appropriate support you need to settle back into working life. The same thing with references- at interview tell me you are concerned and I can either tell you I need something more (maybe a personal reference, for example) or say in fine with what you have given. Most recruiters are good people who will understand. If they don't, do you really want to work for them?

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 16/04/2023 19:28

Quveas · 16/04/2023 19:26

As a recruiting manager, I'd prefer you told me the truth. It wouldn't count against you at all, but I'll also not be wondering what "career break" might be covering up. It also means that if you are the successful person I can ensure you get any appropriate support you need to settle back into working life. The same thing with references- at interview tell me you are concerned and I can either tell you I need something more (maybe a personal reference, for example) or say in fine with what you have given. Most recruiters are good people who will understand. If they don't, do you really want to work for them?

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This a hundred percent

loislovesstewie · 16/04/2023 19:34

My husband died last year, after 6 months there is no way I would have felt able to return to work. You have gone through such a lot, caring for a terminally ill husband and then the aftermath of the death. No one will think you are lazy. Tell the truth, people will understand.

gogohmm · 16/04/2023 19:41

I would be honest, say you closed your self employment business to care for your now late husband and that after a period of bereavement you have decided to return to employment rather than self employment.

Original poster

Cheekyfuckerseverywhere · 16/04/2023 19:52

@loislovesstewie Oh god I’m sorry it happened to you as well. It’s so unfair we have to go through this.

Ok well honesty seems to be the consensus.

I have high flying in-laws who can give me a personal reference if needed. They know I’m employable and want to see me do well.

OP posts:

MandyMotherOfBrian · 16/04/2023 19:57

Cheekyfuckerseverywhere · 16/04/2023 19:09

I just don’t want anyone thinking I’m lazy or unemployable. It’s been 6 months since he died. You don’t want to look flakey.

I want to go into a sector with a skills gap so I’m hoping someone will want to employ me.

I worry about references too, the bootcamp I did will give me a reference and so will my accountant but I’m still worrying.

Goodness, if you told me truth I would be thinking the complete opposite of that! And also everything Quveas said.
And sorry for your loss 💐

Colinthedaxi · 16/04/2023 20:03

Been in your position too, told the truth, got the job! Every faith it will work out for you as well 😁

saraclara · 16/04/2023 20:18

Taking a career break to care for your DH and get back on your feet after his death, is hardly something to be ashamed about! I can't imagine for a moment that anyone that you'd want to work for would be anything other than sympathetic and respectful of your choice. It's probably the most acceptable reason to take a career break, to be honest.

I was fortunate enough to be in a job that gave me six months leave when I was in the same position. Then I had a phased return. My boss (who could be difficult in other ways) and my colleagues were 100% supportive of me throughout. Anyone decent would be, and they will be for you.