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Original poster

Massive Imposter Syndrome issue! Please help..

12 replies

Momiette · 13/04/2023 19:08

Hi Ladies,

I am writing today because I am really lost and dont know what to do.

Basically, I am currently working at a big blue chip company in a mid level job role.
In this company, most people get promoted every 18 to 24 months (as per HR requirements) sometimes less. I have been in the company 5 years almost 6, been on maternity leave for 6 months twice.
I have been in my previous role for 3 years (way to long compared to other employees) and my current role for 10 months...I applied twice for a promotion and got denied twice...

My confidence is really on the floor and my imposter syndrome as hit the roof. I just feel like I am not good enough to work for this company, pretty much everybody they hire come from Russell Group unis and are super brilliant and intelligent...

I feel like I should leave and pursue a career in an other industry (currently learning coding) as I am starting to feel that my colleagues are looking down on me because I have been there so long and didnt manage to get promoted...(people who arrived after me got already promoted twice in some cases). I love the company but I feel like I might not get what I want there...

What should I do? Continue to work hard and try to get promoted or get my software developer certificate and move on?

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

Quveas · 13/04/2023 20:00

I'll bite the bullet and say the unpopular. Nobody can tell you why you aren't getting promoted in the way you expect. Except your employer. You might be brilliant but your face or maternity leaves don't fit. You might be average and that's actually OK, but you won't forge ahead. Nobody here can tell you. Honestly, it's hard, but you need to ask.

MuggleMe · 13/04/2023 21:51

Have you asked for feedback after failing to get promoted, or asked about a coach/mentor? I mean if you're not happy, move on, but you've done well to get where you are, it might be fixable.

swanling · 13/04/2023 21:58

It might just not be the right cultural fit for you. It doesn't sound like a very diverse place.

Promotion in cultures like that can be far more about successful self-marketing than working hard. You might not be playing the same game as your colleagues if your focus has just been on trying to work harder at what you're already doing.

What feedback did you get about the promotions? Or your performance generally?

swanling · 13/04/2023 22:00

I love the company but I feel like I might not get what I want there...

What do you want?

Original poster

Momiette · 13/04/2023 23:22

Yeah I did ask and each time they told me I wasnt experienced enough...but to be honest in this company...transparency is not really a thing...they usually already know who they are going to hire before they even advertise the job

OP posts:

Original poster

Momiette · 13/04/2023 23:24

I just want to feel valued and get rewarded for my work...I have always worked hard and seeing other people who are not as hard hard working and experienced as me is hurtful...

I just feel unappreciated

OP posts:

Original poster

Momiette · 13/04/2023 23:27

Well yes indeed its not the most diverse place...but they do encourage promotion for diverse people etc... even though there pretty much not person of colour in high level roles.

I really dont want to make it about racism or whatever but I have been told it might be why I am not promoted...I have no clue...

My manager is on my side and said she will do everything she can to help me get promoted....

OP posts:

Oblomov23 · 13/04/2023 23:45

Why aren't you talking to your manager about all of this?

Oblomov23 · 13/04/2023 23:47

She will do everything?
She's done fuck all though hadn't she? Nothing. She hasn't even give you decent feedback. Not a plan of action of how she's actually going to help you, step by step. Be more demonstrative, ask more poignant questions. To pin her down.

Foreversearch · 14/04/2023 00:10

@Momiette like previous posters I am going to be honest, having had 2 periods of Mat leave maybe a factor. Basically some people unconsciously reset you at day 1 when you return from mat leave so to them you don’t have the experience. It’s wrong but I’ve seen it happen.

I agree you need to pin your manager down and get them to give you proper feedback and a plan of action. Also consider finding a mentor, they can help with your confidence and navigating the promotion process.

LulaBe · 14/04/2023 02:57

I would say its the 2 lots of maternity that you have taken. But you won't know unless you ask (appreciate thats hard). The parents I've seen who have done this have either come back in hard (as though they never had a baby in the first place) or its been more a reset for their work as their priorities have then changed. It sounds like you are the latter or maybe think you are being viewed as the latter and have this imposter syndrome as a result.

It's wrong but it happens.

Carsarelife · 14/04/2023 08:20

I've had this very thing happen to me and unfortunately I had to quit. It didn't get any better. Their reasoning was because I work 4 days and the majority of people work 5 days who get promoted. We've had 4 day people get promoted in the past but that was when the company was brand new. The final straw was watching a colleague get promoted who does work 5 days but is not as qualified or experienced as myself, so I just had to go.

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