Colleague not coming to meetings - raise with his manager?

[Celia24]

I'm absolutely fuming that a colleague has not showed up to a meeting he confirmed attendance to this morning for the fifth time in about 2 months.

Everyone else attends and we usually sit waiting for him to arrive and often have to reschedule as a result. His work and input is essential to my ability to put together a well rounded brief for my clients.

I raised it with my manager last Friday who agreed it wasn't on. Today it has happened again.

He frequently appears half an hour to an hour later asking to have the meeting once we're done. I feel disrespected as a colleague. Would you raise it with his manager?

I'd ask your manager to raise it with his manager.

My manager is a company director so doesn't have a manager as such @Menstrualcycledisplayteam - this guy's manager is also someone senior who my manager works quite closely with. My manager's response was initially to commiserate but he hasn't taken action.

I guess I can ask him to speak to the guy's manager? Usually I'd try to speak to the person but this guy has a bit of an attitude problem.

Can't you raise it directly with the offending colleague? If that doesn't work then escalate. There may be mitigated circumstances you don't know about.

Are the meetings always at the same time? If so I'd ask him if he has something that stops him attending at that time, and if so to decline and suggest a better time. If that doesn't work I'd escalate.

No they are at different times and he confirmed the time was fine this morning verbally and by outlook @Jules912

Today's meeting was actually a rescheduled attempt because he didn't attend last week's.

@Greensleevevssnotnosewell I don't rule it out but I can't think what they could be to be honest. 'Why don't you ever attend the meetings you've confirmed attendance to?'. He's a colleague and it is awkward.

The other thing is he doesn't apologise for not attending. I think that speaks volumes.

Raise it as an issue with your manager "The brief for XXX won't be as well-rounded as it should be as YYY has been unavailable for the last 5 meetings we've arranged around them - would you like an incomplete brief with the information I have, or do we need to postpone the brief date?"

Thats the issue really - its not that you need them at the meetings, its that you need what they add to your brief and are seemingly gatekeeping it.

Have you had a conversation with this guys where youve told him:

-His work and input is essential to my ability to put together a well rounded brief for my clients.

• when he doesn't turn up this wastes several colleagues' time.
• it's happened 5 times in 2 months.

And asked 'is there a difference of understanding about the importance of your input to these briefs? Is there a problem that you're not aware of which is preventing his attendance at the last minute? Can he suggest any solutions? If there's a mismatch in your expectations is this something that you can escalate to your respective line managers together?

If I were your manager I'd expect you to try to resolve this yourself before you ask me to speak to his manager about it.

Can't you raise it with him directly? Say that you have noticed this is happening, that you are finding it frustrating as it impacts on your ability to do your job so would appreciate his suggestions for alternative ways of managing this. It will feel awkward but I'm not sure you can expect your boss to do anything if you don't.

On the face of it, it does sound like he's being deliberately disrespectful, but perhaps there's another reason and a way around it if your manager won't support you. Does the information you need have to be given in a meeting? Can the detail be found in a report/meeting notes or emailed to you rather than in a face-to-face meeting?

I agree that this needs conversation directly between you both. You need to make sure that his expectations are the same as yours in relation to the meeting; does he agree that his input is vital? If he agrees that he needs to input, does he understand the impact from his non attendance? Lots of potential questions. He may indeed just be annoying but you’re going to need to do some ground work before escalating.

Your manager agrees it isn't on and then what?

@ColonelBrandonsPiano well I spoke to him and he said meetings at 2pm aren't good because that is lunchtime. To me that isn't lunchtime but really if it isn't suitable he shouldn't agree to attend them or suggest an alternative time. He also hasn't attended a morning meeting so a poor excuse.

He also said he prefers to meet in person. Everyone has been on holiday for Easter and we only meet in the office once a week being a company with colleagues in different cities. So again, this isn't reasonable as we a primarily work from home company that also meets in the office once a week.

Essentially I'm going to keep meetings to the morning from now on where possible and see if he attends. I've now raised it so he knows it's an issue.

How frustrating.

in this situation I would send him a to the point email asking for the information you require, copying in his line manager

I'd first raise it with the colleague themselves. You can do it nicely.

'Hi John, I've noticed that in the last few months you have been late to our X meetings or at times not attended at all quite a few times. You attendance is required for us to complete X for our clients to the standard they expect. Is there a reason that you are not attending these meetings? I would be keen to understand if there are any obstacles to your attendance'

If he gives a BS answer, escalate and ask for action.

So what happens if he doesn't turn up? Do the meetings run anyway, or do you all make small talk for half sn hour? How much does that half hour cost in wasted time based on salary:hourly rates? Could you raise it in that context?

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads we made small talk today for 10 minutes then dived into it as much as we could. He then messaged 40 mins later asking to have the meeting now that he had had lunch. It was 2.45 by this point.

See above I have actually now spoken to him. His reasons are BS but if he's so keen on morning meetings we'll have them and see if he actually shows. My feeling is he will for a while because he knows he's on watch now.

Firstly, can you find out exactly when the company allocated hours for lunchtime are? I know in my company, lunch is any time between 12 noon and 2pm, with the latter being the time you must return to work not the time that you can begin your lunch, and this is with very very few exceptions.

Meeting in person - again - since lockdown and working from home has become more prevalent, I'd be nipping that one in the bud and saying that irrespective of where the meeting is (online or in person) if he accepts the meeting request, he must attend.

I'd even go so far as to say that you've mentioned the lack of his attendance at a number of meetings, is impacting more than just you and him, it's impacting on the productivity of the team.

Can I ask, is he of an age where retirement (early or natural) is on the cards and might he be biding his time until he retires?

Yes, raise it with his manager. Why haven't you previously?

He's taking the absolute mick. He's not doing his job. His tome is not more important than everyone else's.

I'd ask him one last time if the meeting times are unsuitable, as he seems to have trouble getting to them , then, when he inevitably doesn't turn up on time next time, raise it with his line manager. I'd probably get the backing of my line manager first.

Also make a log of when he hasn't turned up, when you've had to rearrange. Estimate of lost time and how many people have been disrupted.

If one of my reports was behaving like this, I'd want to know, so I could work with him to find a solution/put support in place/apologise to the client/kick his damn backside.

Hi @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads in hindsight I think it is ridiculous that he says he prefers morning meetings when the reality is that we all have to attend afternoon meetings various times during the week. So have we all to cater to him?

I have a 1 to 1 with my manager tomorrow and will raise it then.

I am considering still emailing his boss because actually five times is too many. I think boss would say 'wtf' if I said he can't attend 2pm meetings due to 'lunch'. I will start keeping the log now from as far back as I can find a record of it happening for (which definitely included morning meetings and it's all online). I feel disrespected by him. He's well known for being difficult but it's an issue when I have to work with him often.

@LookItsMeAgain no, he's only forty.

He's been there a good few years and grumbles often about the company so I do wonder if he's shopping around or interviewing elsewhere.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I'm not suggesting you all have to pander to him at all! If he's repeatedly accepting meetings but not turning up, then I'd check one last time (tongue in cheek) that the times agreed are ok - no other work related clashes, before pursuing it with his line manager. If he does actually have a clash, then I'd see what I could do to included him as he is so vital, but it sounds unlikely, since he doesn't turn up to rescheduled mtgs either.

How did the 1-to-1 go with your manager when you raised this issue?

Also make a log of when he hasn't turned up, when you've had to rearrange. Estimate of lost time and how many people have been disrupted

this

This is where I would do the passive aggressive cc to his manager.

I'd email him, copy his manager.

Bob,

I am frustrated that for the 5th time in 2 months you again have not attended a scheduled meeting where we discuss X. This means that I am unable to give our clients a full picture of status as we don't have your input.

You confirmed this morning you would attend but then did not turn up.

I am amenable to arranging a different time for the meeting of this helps, though we have tried various times over recent weeks.

Please could you suggest a way forward?

Regards.