I have been stupid 🙈 current employer about to receive a reference request

[Hatemylife2023]

Hi

I am newly disabled. Before and during becoming ill I knew my current job isn’t me - I do not have good relations with the manager (they hired after I started so in essence we did not chose each other, the manager frustrates as they always come out with incorrect info) and more importantly the work doesn’t excite me - when I do the role as the company want it done being completely thorough I am never quick enough either so I am well aware I am on way to being managed out.

So I got unwell, had an operation, hospital stay and nearly 2 months off via fit note, I did consider resigning straight out whilst sick but what stopped me was I would now be visibly disabled and would possibly struggle to get a new job as easily due to the now terrible absence record and getting past employers prejudices on the whole disabled front. Some people have said I’m wrong to look for a new job but I knew things weren’t right long before what happened and why are people with MH guided to get a new job whilst on sick if that is what makes them ill and not right.

When I used some of my leave in between fit note ending and pending return, (so technically on my own holiday) I attended an interview which is now about to back fire badly I feel 🙈

The new company I interviewed at were slightly strange in that they hit me with pre interview form as soon as I mentioned I had been off work, which asked me about my health in specific and asked during interview how many days sick had I had, what my sick record looked like (illegal questions I now understand) on this form I also thought it weird you were signing to agree a reference to be taken, it took 9 days to hear anything and when I thought I was getting a rejection and written job off I got offered the job. Only problem their start date is ages away so it means I took it I had time to think whether the new company is the best move. I have always said I’m on a week’s notice, with the added problem the hirer is now on holiday themselves for a couple of weeks so I’m not sure how to stop the wheels in motion except hope they hold off on action until they return.

I have started having problems with my current employer on return (another issue on its own) and this whole situation is making me fearful when today I receive an unexpected very basic but cold formal offer letter (so wasn’t expecting this letter by post) from said new employer confirming their intention to seek a reference and reminding me this is a “conditional offer” and based on me having provided true and accurate information during the recruitment process.

Forgive me but that means the new employer can withdraw and I end up in hot water with the current employer.? For all I know they could be in cahoots with me ending up with no job. It is all sounding really suss whether I’m overthinking it.

I would not give extra notice to old employer, in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if it ended up being me being asked to leave with immediate effect.

Just wondering how anyone has handled their current employer hearing that you’ve job seeked before even deciding if you would accept the job by tendering your current notice. I would be honest with current employer that I want to leave but I saw how they handled someone who said they were going to get a fit note for mental health issues just as I fell ill and really not sure what I now do (knowing my card is now marked totally understand)

Do I deny knowing about the reference until such times I’ve made my mind up to leave and given current employer the correct notice as per their contract.

Really grateful for any advice if you got this far and it goes without saying this has turned into one interview I probably should have ran from.

New company aren't someone you want to work for. Tell them to poke the job

Thank you 🙏 you know when you begin to doubt a strange process.

I'm confused. Strange process? Most companies whom I've been employed with have provided an offer conditional to reference checks etc. So once they have said that, I inform my employer I'm resigning if I haven't already? I've nothing to hide and I've not yet once had a new employer not employ me after all. As long as you've not lied about your sickness I don't see why there would be an issue?

Please read again. I went through an interview signing away my rights to whether a reference was happening at that stage alone (I note there was an email address to which you could withdraw consent but I also felt that meant your application was automatically withdrawn) and yes I find it strange to receive a basic cold unexpected letter only today which flys against what they stated was to happen in the first place, in a what else has been missed out.

It could be the current Employer will write either a very nice reference because they want rid of me and the disability or they write a poor one saying I’m bad for ending up in hospital and lack of attendance.

Clearly not many people have been in this situation and I’m only sorry I did not put the potential new employer on the spot when they started saying with no merit oh well you can just give a longer notice. I can assure I have no desire to lie and imagine no such preinterview form would have flung me way otherwise. Just seriously confused how others manage to go to interviews on a fit note (which for avoidance of doubt I didn’t) and how it seemingly seems to work out rosy for them.

I will face the music with my current employer.

For all I know they could be in cahoots with me ending up with no job.

I think you're overthinking this. Why would they go to that much effort? That's a bit paranoid.

The "cold" offer letter will just be a standard template.

I'm not sure anybody is going to care when you attended interview.

You applied for anything else?

It all sounds entirely normal process to me. Why would you assume your current employer and your prospective employer are in cahoots against you?

I’m also puzzled at your repeated emphasis on the ‘cold’ offer letter — I don’t think I’ve ever had a job offer that sounded ‘warm’ or particularly thrilled about hiring me. And offers have always been stated to be conditional re proof of qualifications etc.

I think you're too worried about this. I didn't think references were anything more than confirmation of role and dates employed? It's not a recommendation.

You're over thinking

• job offers on condition of references and qualifications is standard practice
• not tells your current employer you are interviewing elsewhere is fairly normal
• job offer letters are just templates and functional.
• you could ask if they would pause on requesting a reference until you have told your current employer. The offer will remain, but stay conditional until this point
• you'll need to tell your employer before your offer becomes unconditional, because they'll need a reference first. Again normal practice

Please read the law, and normal recruitment, again.

No they shouldn't have asked about sickness before making a conditional offer. But they made an offer despite your sickness record! I have no idea what on earth you are complaining about, but your are being paranoid. They offered to employ you and you are complaining they weren't grateful or happy enough? Virtually nothing you've said is wrong or unlawful. They offer you employment that you applied for. How is it that they are being unreasonable?

Yes sorry OP this is very normal. Congratulations on the offer, please try not to overthink.

When would you like them to request the reference? Every job offer I've had has been dependant on references.

What is the problem with you going for an interview when on annual leave?

Thanks, ok, it has just thrown me the last physical posted letter from an employer must have been way back in 2003, honestly I just wasn’t expected it and opened it thinking it was little more then an unsuccessful letter from part time jobs I have been going for as well recently with no luck.

I’m in the advantages of working weekends for days off during the week when I’m not having to go to desperate measures of at least enforcing holiday on the current employer.

With all the background issues at current work, it has just opened the paranoid me up in further hoping it might explain things so at least that’s something.