Just looking for some advice really. I've been working as a freelance Merchandiser (involves price checking etc, often undercover) for the past 12 years. On the whole it is worked well for me, I've been able to be flexible whilst bringing our kids up, no family support, DH works shifts. I'm 48 btw not sure if that's relevant. I earn just over the minimum wage for just less than full time hours, bearing in mind that I quite often do bits of work in the evening/weekends, dont get paid holidays etc.
TBH I'm not sure if I can see myself managing to do what I do now, lots of travelling all round London etc in 10 years or 20 years time. I also completed a copywriting course in 2021. I've not been able to do much with that (a bit of of online work that paid peanuts), mainly cause life got in the way. My Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer last Summer and died in October. I'm trying to work out the best way forward, bearing in mind that I still need some flexibility. My kids are teenagers now, but I still need to be around in the morning as my DH often isn't, plus we have a dog. TBH I could really do with earning more (couldn't we all) and I'm a bit embarrassed about how little I earn.
I've also had some horrible experiences at work in the past, which has really knocked my confidence. I'm considering the following options:
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Try and resurrect my copywriting, with a view to getting better paid freelance work. This could take a long time.
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Trying to negotiate better pay with my employers, difficult as I know they have a budget. Maybe looking at other companies.
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Trying to move into merchandising admin/project management. I feel as though I've got the industry knowledge, but I'm not sure if I've got a strong enough personality cause its quite ruthless. Also, it would probably involve managing people, which scares the hell out of me.
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Trying to move into some sort of admin role (possibly NHS, although I did have a bad experience working on the staff bank), working mainly from home.
5)Training in something new and more lucrative. I'm reluctant to do this, cause tbh I've tried a few things in my life that haven't worked out and I dont want to lose face/waste money.
I'm looking at agencies and I'm already on Linkedin and have applied for a few jobs. I hate change, it terrifies me and I'm so scared of making a mistake whatever I do. TBH although I'm freelance I get dumped on a bit. On a good day I think its cause I'm reliable/a good worker. On a bad day I think its cause I'm a people pleaser/easy to manipulate.
Prior to having my kids, I was a secretary, but tbh that wasn't really my thing
Cannot afford to pay out for career coaching.
Sorry for the slightly negative tone of this post, but any advice would be welcome. I dont want to look back in 10 years and regret not making a change if it was really necessary.