Are there tolerable jobs out there?

[Yellowishes]

Not sure how much I'm the problem here.

I have recently switched from a notoriously toxic career. I still seem to find myself in toxic and chaotic work environments. I'm not even on a high salary (I'm in a junior role) but I'm working under extremely high pressure with non-stop conflicting requirements, lack of responsibility from other team members, lack of support from team members and no escalation pathways. There is constant context switching and no potential to plan my day ever. No one actually knows what the limitations of my role are. My manager stays up working until 5am on work nights. This seems to just be normal.

Everyone is friendly and cheerful but it's constant chaos imo. There's also a lot of sick leave.

Since leaving my previous career I have learned I'm highly likely to be autistic. I get along well with team members but I cannot understand the unspoken rules at all. I just want to do a job and not feel like it destroys me.

I do my job very well (I'm working at senior level and not at senior pay) but all I feel is burnout and hopelessness. When I finish work I am completely exhausted. I'm irritable and anxious and I can't switch off. I've been jogging, using a CBT app, talking to friends and I just seem to get worse. It's affecting my marriage.

Before you say see a doctor - I've already been and they told me I'm not depressed, I just need to sort my life out.

I'm not sure what to do or if this is just life. I have lost all zest for life. I struggle to get out of bed as I'm so tired and anxious. I don't think anyone takes me seriously as I'm still doing the things I need to.

Is this just how everyone feels?

That shouldn't be life, no.

Was this a GP who told you to "just sort your life out"? Did they have any constructive suggestions for how they thought you might do that?

What hours are you working?

Can you change industry...so same job but different industry? Some industries are definitely more high pressure including where the company is based.

Yes a few GPs have told me to sort my life out and learn to manage stress. Last one said it's not anxiety or depression if I feel okay sometimes - I have to feel unwell all the time to meet the criteria.
I'm doing regular hours - I have largely set boundaries on that. I do 9-530 but will do a few additional hours per week if I'm held up by another emergency. Unfortunately emergencies are literally every second day now.

Yes I can change industry - this is something I think I need to consider.

Hello @Yellowishes imo from the role and environment you are working in I do not believe this is you at all.I suspect this environment may work and clearly does for some but not for you, and that really is OK.I really don't think may would be able to cope with what you are experiencing.Please put yourself first and consider a change in industry and drop me a PM if you need to talk.

Most jobs are more chaotic/burdensome/encroaching than 20 years ago, but what you describe is extreme and unusual.

I'd just move on again and hope for more sanity!

My workplace is absolutely not like that.

What industry are you in?

This sounds dreadful. This is not normal. I've always loved my jobs, I do accounts. Minimal stress, I do my hours, leave, easy.

Tech

Don't let it destroy your mental health. I was in a similar situation for years and eventually came close to having a nervous breakdown (as well as developing stress induced IBS and insomnia along the way).

It sounds like you need changes in your life. Maybe trying changing companies first, then decide if you want to remain in Tech or do something else completely.

Be aware that changes can often mean having less money. Some of the more less stress jobs will pay a lot less.

I've completely re-evalued my life and downsized where I can.

I would state to your manager that you are NeuroDivergent and need structure in your day. Given them a clear set of reasonable requests as to what would make your day more bearable and productive. Think about your ideal world and try to articulate a few things that enable it to be so.

if your manager refuses or skirts the subject, then take it to HR or your union if you have one. Or join a Union so they can represent your needs. Are there any other ND colleagues you may be able to get support from.

nowadays it's really important to state ND as you will have protection, but you need to clearly state your needs and get them in writing,

Was the switch between companies? I'm not quite clear what you mean by a switch in career.

I wonder if as a start you should consider pursuing a diagnosis? Though I understand that waiting lists are huge.

The environment sounds extreme and I don't think it should be impossible to find a more regulated day.

I just wonder whether freelance work would be feasible for you?

Is there a chance you have ADHD?
GP’s are not good at picking up on this unfortunately.My experience is that if you don’t come across as hyperactive, you can’t have it, so they won’t refer you.
My Dd sounded a bit like you and she was diagnosed with inattention adhd

Just a follow up on this. Thanks for all your responses.

I do have some ADHD traits but score more strongly on autism screening - not that I think it will make an enormous difference as I'm not keen to start stimulants (bad family history of heart problems). I am strongly thinking about an assessment just for that protection.

I reflected a lot and think I just don't fit well in this company. I'm going to try to stop thinking so hard about it. I decided to leave and started feeling like my performance doesn't matter so much - I've worked less intensely and it has made no difference whatsoever. No one notices and they're all still panicking randomly. I don't even think I'm being less productive, which has been a surprise.

I got an offer for a new job yesterday - much faster than expected. Might be another nightmare but the team seem more of a fit for me so we'll see how it goes.

Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions. Feeling more in control after that wobble!

Well done and good luck with the move. Fingers crossed that it suits you better.

Look at referring yourself to nhs talking therapies near you.