Stay in a toxic team but I can do the job 100% or move back to nice team but out of my depth with job?

[Hatewaste]

Just that really! I’m top of my game at the moment in my team, been there a long time and even though it’s hectic and very fast paced I can do the job. It does drive me mad though as the team colleagues aren’t the best and I often feel absolutely wrecked after a day at work due to the pace.

Alternative is to move back to old team (lovely manager and people) work will be slower paced but more responsibility and I’ll be out of my depth for a while until I learn. There’ll be little support as it’s basically setting up systems from scratch (I did a little but of this kind of work previously but now I’ll be wholly responsible for it 🫣). Slightly more money.

I ought to add I’m 50, strongly in peri with all the anxiety that comes with it. Not quite as quick to learn like I used to be and am lacking in confidence due to this.

what would you do? I’m scared of failing or making myself Ill. Alternatively, the team im in at the moment drive me crazy.

Sounds like a no brainier. And if you feel the menopause is potentially impacting you to that extent, see your GP about HRT.

Yes - move back to the supportive team and interesting work. Think in the long term...do you want to be stuck with the tricky colleagues, burnt out, dealing with peri/menopause or feeling supported, valued, in control.

As PP said, seems a no-brainier! Good luck OP!

It’s the content of the new job that scares me, I wouldn’t know where to start! I would have responsibility for setting up a management system - I’ve done audits etc previously but this a basically controlling all the systems and it’s a huge organisation. Manager says he has faith in me being able to do it but I keep reading the job spec and thinking ‘it’s a huge task and I wouldn’t know where to start’. I don’t want to make my anxiety issues any worse. And I’ll feel dreadful if I take it and crash and burn.

Do you think you're being a bit literal about the job spec? How much of it is essential vs desirable?

No, the job is to control the management systems for the organisation. I used to audit regularly and maintain databases, plan for audits etc but this will involve carrying out legal compliance checks, gap analysis, I’ve responsible for checking for legislation changes or issues that could affect the business. It’s a massive step up. Old manager feels I’m perfectly capable but I’m scared of being handed a poisoned chalice…

A nice working environment makes such a massive difference to working with toxic people, how long will it take you to grasp all the new information and skills for the new job ? ( I'm 48 and have just changed jobs completely and gone from toxic to friendly and I absolutely love it made me realise how toxic my old place really was )

Moving back to old team in new role sounds better. You are scared of making yourself ill... but the current scenario is stressful and you feel "wrecked" - the slower more thoughtful pace sounds much more suitable.

"Toxic" again. Is it now just shorthand for "I don't much like it and it stresses me a bit"?

@CovertImage or lots of whispering , gossiping and back stabbing

Or you are bullied, belittled, made a scapegoat for others' failings and constantly expected to go over and above your actual job for no recognition?

OP - I've been where you are. It's better to be in a supportive team in a job you're unsure about (because the team will support you. Hopefully you can be open about any menopause related issues you are having and your concerns.) than in a toxic team in a job you can do with your eyes shut (because the team will drag you down and make you feel worthless).

But it would only be new and scary for a short time... Go for it.

I don't know you. But I bet you know exactly how to do the job. You are just panicking. If you've done audits then you have all the tools to set up management systems and then control them. You start at the end. Identify what the end result must be. Describe it. Then break it down into parts and then into stages. Voila. You have your outline. Then you work through what resource and processes are required to achieve that. And don't forget that like in audit, you need checks and balances so that basis don't get dropped, or if they do someone will catch it and fix it.

Now go do that job!

I am over two decades in my job and scared to take a leap but I really think you should and are more than capable (and with a nice team)

You are all so lovely. Thank you so much. I’ve scheduled a call with my great ex manager who also has so much faith in me.

If the manager has faith in you, then no brainer. Peri symptons will not help the cause, they are leading to you overthink situation.

I have struggled for the last couple of years, came to to head in last few months, that overthinking, anxiety is not stress related, but peri-related.

Recenlty I have experienced very similar situation - business has asked me to project lead a new ERP system. The devil on the shoulder called Peri has urged me to decline, even to the point I was going to quit my job. . After some rationlisation, journaling on my fears, concerns, outbourst and finally speaking to the doctor I am now on HRT, early days but my headspace is better and I know I am quite capable, You can do this!

@Hatewaste definitely take the job on offer.

Peri affects your confidence, you have impostor syndrome. You have the right skills and background to do the job and your former manager has confidence in you.

Just remember you can ask for training to make sure you are up to date with current legislation, compliance requirements. If there are relevant professional organisations, ask work to pay for your membership as they often have model policies/processes and run workshops.

Google and the internet are your friend, you will be amazed at what is available on line to help you. A lot of public sector organisations publish their policies and processes because it makes managing FOI requests much easier. Steal with pride, it’s more efficient to use an existing document and tailor it than staring with a blank sheet of paper.

Network - internally who are the good technicians e.g. in IT, HR, Finance as they can help by sharing their expertise where relevant. Get yourself a mentor/buddy/trusted friend who can help by talking through issues. Externally who does the same/similar job who can share their experience/knowledge.

Never mind whether you have the skills right now - do you think you have the ability to learn the skills you need? Almost definitely.

Get an ISO qualification or refresher under your belt and membership to a relevant organisation (to keep abreast of legislation) to support you.

Agree with PP - rally the troops, who can help? Who's already identified gaps, just hadn't known who to tell? Get a working group together if appropriate & delegate.

It sounds like a great opportunity with your experience & a chance to focus rather than being run ragged.
Good luck!