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Original poster

Just a rant - people not making the effort to understand what I do

54 replies

TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 15:20

I used to have a very specific role in a scientific department. I'm not going to say what it is, because there was just one of me!
It had a bit of giggle factor, like someone working on..I don't know...bovine semen or something.
I haven't done this job for nearly 6 years. I am in broadly the same scientific field, but have taken quite a large step into publishing from research.
It's far easier to explain what I do and there are some things I work on which are very interesting (Covid, endangered species, medicine etc).

Yet people STILL ask "how are things in the semen world" [giggle].

It doesn't matter - they don't need to understand what I do, but I just feel dismissed and they're not really interested.

I used to think I didn't do a good job of explaining what I did, until I heard someone explaining nearly exactly the same thing on Desert Island Disks using the exact analogies I was using and breaking it down in the same way.

I think sometimes people fear they don't or can't understand and their minds close down.

To be clear, I'm not banging on about my job all the time, it's something that comes up now and again.

OP posts:
MultipleVeganPies · 04/04/2023 15:22

People almost never care what you do, unless they can personally relate to it

I am in software testing and CRM integration and none of my friends could tell you what I do for a living 😁

So don't take it personally

CMOTDibbler · 04/04/2023 15:26

I agree, people honestly don't give more than a microsecond of thought to anyone elses job. DH's family could get their heads around him working on the claims desk at a motor insurer 28 years ago, and now he owns a company which is related to insurance - but they still think he does claims.

thesugarbumfairy · 04/04/2023 15:27

what multipleveganpies said. Try not to take it personally.

I'm also in software testing and no-one knows what it is I do. Eyes glaze over even if I'm actually asked, so I just say 'I test software - its not that interesting'. And I don't have to bore them or myself 😁

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 15:33

MultipleVeganPies · 04/04/2023 15:22

People almost never care what you do, unless they can personally relate to it

I am in software testing and CRM integration and none of my friends could tell you what I do for a living 😁

So don't take it personally

Maybe it's because I am very interested in what other people do and would ask lots of questions given the chance. That's probably the scientist in me.

I suppose I should not take their lack if interest as them thinking what I do doesn't matter.

It's bad enough that the kids used to think 'you just mess around on the computer all day'.

Do you friends ask you what you do?

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Pringleface · 04/04/2023 15:52

I used to have a very niche job in the financial sector where I was well known as the go-to person. It was impossible to explain to anyone outside of the industry so I always just used to tell people I was an analyst.

For one of my old neighbours though, this wasn’t enough and he hassled me to explain it so I did (in very layman’s terms!) and he responded by rolling his eyes and saying, ‘Well, thanks Pringle, THAT was fascinating’ and pretending to yawn. Rude fucker - don’t pester me for details if you don’t want to know!

Every time I Sw him after that he’d make some dumb comment about my fascinating job. Cunt.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 15:56

Pringleface · 04/04/2023 15:52

I used to have a very niche job in the financial sector where I was well known as the go-to person. It was impossible to explain to anyone outside of the industry so I always just used to tell people I was an analyst.

For one of my old neighbours though, this wasn’t enough and he hassled me to explain it so I did (in very layman’s terms!) and he responded by rolling his eyes and saying, ‘Well, thanks Pringle, THAT was fascinating’ and pretending to yawn. Rude fucker - don’t pester me for details if you don’t want to know!

Every time I Sw him after that he’d make some dumb comment about my fascinating job. Cunt.

Cunt! Grin

My FIL was a bit like that. He latched onto the silly thing about my last job and Every Single Time would ask the same question. It got so boring.

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ExtremelyDetermined · 04/04/2023 15:56

I find it hard to explain mine, and most people aren't really that interested unless they are in a related field, I see their eyes glazing over, so I just say I'm a scientist and leave it at that. I don't really understand what a lot of my friends do either, so I might know they are eg an accountant or engineer by profession, but not much about where they work or what they actually do.

Heroicallyfound · 04/04/2023 16:01

Could you make a joke out of it and steer them towards remembering what you do do rather than what you don’t do?

‘Oh keep up, I’ve worked in publishing for years now!’

squashyhat · 04/04/2023 16:05

Many years ago I worked for the BBC - absolutely NOT in a programme-making capacity. At the time there was a popular American programme on. One of the production staff (i.e listed in the end credits, blink and you would miss it) had the same name as me. No matter how many times I denied it my grandparents were convinced it was me. Fortunately they never asked me for any details Grin

workinprog · 04/04/2023 16:07

Your old job was memorable, that's all. It took me years to learn what my DH does for a living. It's a technical part of IT that only other IT people understand and remember. I remember his job title these days but I'm still hazy on the detail.

Tryphenia · 04/04/2023 16:12

I wouldn’t get annoyed about it. I did four degrees on the pathway to a specific career, and have worked exclusively in that career in the exact same job, at different institutions and different degrees of seniority, since 2002. My parents were unable to tell a relative at a recent family event what I do. Even in the most general terms.

Mañanarama · 04/04/2023 16:13

I have quite an interesting job (the content, not the wfh on a computer) but I rarely talk it about it because I don’t really want to hear about other peoples jobs. Unless you’re a lion tamer or a celebrity chauffeur or something, it’s just not that fascinating. Nothing worse than a work bore.

Pringleface · 04/04/2023 16:15

TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 15:56

Cunt! Grin

My FIL was a bit like that. He latched onto the silly thing about my last job and Every Single Time would ask the same question. It got so boring.

Show quote history

It’s really annoying, isn’t it! This neighbour was the sort of man who laughs at his own jokes too. Thankfully, I have a much less difficult to explain job now, but it’s for a local authority so inevitably, I get the ‘why aren’t you fixing the potholes, eh? Eh?’ type comments instead, even though I have nothing to do with roads.

AllTheLaundry · 04/04/2023 16:18

I find it super annoying too. Certain people, all on my DP's side can't remember or understand what I do besides "she does bats". I'm an ecologist so while bats take up a reasonable amount of my time, actually they are my least favourite protected species. It's just lazy in my opinion after a while and several conversations. DP has tried bless him, but his relatives are not getting it. So "I do bats".

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 16:26

I used to say "Have you heard of the Human Genome Project?" and then say it was a bit like that.

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Improbablecat · 04/04/2023 16:39

I read something somewhere that said if you can't explain your job to a three year old, most adults won't bother to understand it either. I think it's why teachers, nurses etc get such stick from the general public - everyone thinks they understand exactly what is involved!

I have a job that has a really interesting title, I like it and find it interesting too. People always quiz me about it, but they're inevitably disappointed when it's not what they thought it was. My parents are still not entirely sure what I do for a living.

pickledandpuzzled · 04/04/2023 16:54

… I'm the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole that holds the
Ring that drives the rod that turns
The knob that works the thing ummy bob
I'm the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil that oils the
Ring that takes the shank that moves
The crank that works the thing ummy bob

music.youtube.com/watch?v=qrFCmbWO_UQ

pickledandpuzzled · 04/04/2023 16:56

Hmm. Do the words disappear for everyone else too? Take 2:

I'm the girl that makes the thing that drills the hole that holds the
Ring that drives the rod that turns
The knob that works the thing ummy bob
I'm the girl that makes the thing that holds the oil that oils the
Ring that takes the shank that moves
The crank that works the thing ummy bob

Kitcaterpillar · 04/04/2023 16:58

I think you're being a bit precious.

Other people's work is very boring. They've remembered the interesting thing about your work.

Pearfacebananapoop · 04/04/2023 16:59

Same.

It also annoys me when on my day off if I have to take a work call or something or do some overtime people who say "I thought you worked part time" I work 4.5 in 4 days in a demanding job - it's like they think I'm one day a week in easy street.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 04/04/2023 17:05

DHs job was very niche, only three people in the world doing more or less the same thing. It could be explained in basic terms but most people understandably weren't interested. Easier just to say "scientist" and move on

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 17:08

Kitcaterpillar · 04/04/2023 16:58

I think you're being a bit precious.

Other people's work is very boring. They've remembered the interesting thing about your work.

Possibly. The thing is I find what people do very interesting.
I'm talking about my family as well as others. Of all people you'd think family could make the effort.
I don't need affirmation or anything; I'm quite happy in my job.

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JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 04/04/2023 17:09

Unless you have a really obvious job this happens to most people and if you do then they believe you know what you do and don't pay attention to what you actually do.

I'm a lawyer, people assume that I am either in court wearing a wig everyday or can do their house sale for them. I do neither.

My friend is an accountant working for an extremely well known retail chain. Most people hear the name and assume she works in a shop.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/04/2023 17:12

I'm an author. Practically everyone thinks they could do it, and will write a bestseller just as soon as they 'have the time'.

They also read the occasional one of my books and then tell me how much better they would have written it and how the end would be better if I'd done such-and-such.

I'd rather have a job that nobody could understand than have everyone assume that they could do mine, only better.

Original poster
TheOrigRights · 04/04/2023 17:18

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 04/04/2023 17:12

I'm an author. Practically everyone thinks they could do it, and will write a bestseller just as soon as they 'have the time'.

They also read the occasional one of my books and then tell me how much better they would have written it and how the end would be better if I'd done such-and-such.

I'd rather have a job that nobody could understand than have everyone assume that they could do mine, only better.

Good god! You only have to read a couple of terrible short children's books to acknowledge how hard it it to write a good book. What do you say?

I quite like your spin on it though; I shall live in my bubble happily believing no one could do my job better than me.

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