Dp being bullied by CEO and HR denying it...WWYD

[Fibonacci13]

Dp is in his 50s and a middle management role at work.

His CEO is an absolute nightmare. It's a US company and the CEO seems to believe he can behave like Elon Musk and is an absolute arsehole. He has employed his wife in a senior role she can't cope with and dp has to interact with her all the time.

At a recent strategy meeting, the CFO called out 2 areas that weren't working - one run by the CEO's best mate and the other run by the wife. He was v factual. The best mate of the CEO stormed out and refused to return. In the meeting, when the CFO asked for examples to show these areas weren't working, he quoted something Dp had said (but also quoted many other senior execs).

Subsequent to this, the CEO emailed the whole board, 2 external lawyers plus a woman who is v important in the industry (who doesn't work for them but he would like her to) and said that he had received 2 very serious allegations of bullying and intimidation against Dp.

Dp was absolutely horrified. This has never happened in his career. He immediately called HR and HR said they had no idea what the CEO was talking about. Dp asked them to get back to him and asked whether he was going to be suspended or fired. They had no idea.

A week goes by and the CEO acts like nothing has happened. Dp keeps contacting both the CEO and HR but gets no response. The CEO speaks to him as if it didn't happen and when dp mentions it, he just ignores it. HR eventually admit to Dp, but won't do it in writing, that they can find no complaints. The CEO calls Dp and says he thinks it will be better for everyone if 'we can just move past this incident'.

Except Dp has had his name trashed in front of the board and trashed in front of this woman who is external and important in their industry. Dp cried tonight, and I have never seen him cry, because he admitted he was bullied at school and this is making him feel like it all over again. He has asked HR to get the CEO to retract his statement but either they haven't asked or they have and he won't do it.

I think now is the time to get a lawyer's letter written up demanding them to retract the statement and clear dp's name. Dp is also worried that the CEO will just go back and get his wife/best mate to create a complaint and just say they didn't tell HR just to prove it happened.

WWYD - bearing in mind the sensitivities around dp's past history with bullying

Lawyer. Now.

Given the complexity of this situation and potential implications for your husband’s career, I’d suggest that he consults an Employment Lawyer for some proper advice.

I’d contact ACAS as it could turn into a case for constructive dismissal which is illegal and an employment tribunal may be only way to get clear. Your DP should get copies of the allegations and his correspondence with HR sent on to a personal email or downloaded. As soon as any lawyer letter is sent, they will likely stop his accounts and bar him access to his company emails/company IT system. In meantime, I’d be looking to jump ship to a new job which is hard in your 50s due to ageism but that’s what I would do.

Thanks - I also think lawyer but poor Dp has been so shook up by this, I get the feeling he's quite nervous at asking for advice now but I will speak to him.

They are such pricks. What a horrible thing to do to someone.

Thanks yes he's looking for another role but it's so much harder at our age. He also has to clear his name because he will not be able to interview for any new role with this hanging over him as the industry is v small

Yes it is very hard. I was hoping your DP might have an old boss or former colleague that he could call up that know him and know he’s not a bully and have a role they could put him up for so he doesn’t have to deal with a toxic workplace while going down the legal action route. He may have good cause to simply resign from moral outrage and then file for constructive dismissal imho. I’d definitely see an employment lawyer soon and get advice though to your exact circumstances as I’m not a lawyer but my DH went through similar bullying from above and that is what he did as well as talking to ACAS.

How did he learn about the allegations?Has he seen anything in writing?

Is this a private company or public? Is the CEO also the founder?

Something similar is happening with my DH.

He also didn't want to speak to a lawyer, but after some convincing he went to see one. I sold it as speaking to someone who can give him expert advice.

He's found it very helpful. He's found out exactly what his rights are and where the company has acted badly and other places where they've acted illegally and then the best way to proceed. She's also advised on the sorts of things he needs to record, to put him in the best position if he chooses/needs to go to court.

The difference between this and childhood bullying is that as an adult DH can get someone on side who is at least as strong as the bullies, regardless of whether he needs to bring any legal process.

Speaking with a lawyer and knowing his rights hasn't altered the shit work situation. It has absolutely given him the confidence that he can deal with this, because the disempowerment enacted by the work situation has been countered.

If DH is in a TU, contact them first as they may provide a lawyer but personally I would find my own.

At the same time find an Employment Law Lawyer asap. Check home insurance for legal cover.

DH needs to get hold of the grievance and discipline policy/process. I recommend starting with the informal process by emailing HR. Stay “Informal Grievance - Failure to follow grievance process”. Attach the CEOs email and state CEO and HR have not followed the process and have breached GDPR. Quote the actions HR should have done e.g. investigation, putting allegations to DH, not disclosing the existence of allegations etc. Ask that HR follow the process and DH is given the opportunity to clear his name.

At the same time email DPO and make a subject access request for emails relating to the process once the allegations were received. You won’t get details of the allegations. Also point out the breach of GDPR and ask that this is reported to ICO.

Be very clear what outcome DP wants.

If he wants to keep his job an informal grievance would, if HR and lawyers can make the CEO see sense, allow the CEO/HR to email everyone who received the original email, not just addressees but everyone it was forwarded to (IT can find out exactly who has been sent the email). The email must state that following an investigation all allegations against DH have been found to have no substance and DH is completely exonerated. The company/Board apologise to DH for breaching his legal right to confidentiality under GDPR. The Board will have further training on GDPR and the grievance and discipline process to ensure this does not occur again.

Mediation is also an option and would provide a place for the CEO to apologise.

As I and pp have said get legal advice first - my suggested approach is just that and a lawyer may go a different way.

Realistically the CEO is not going to want to apologise or publicly admit his mistake. Be prepared to allow the CEO to save face whilst making it clear your DH is exonerated.

there's no trade union - it's a private company. The CEO is one of the founders. He found out about the allegations when the CEO emailed the board/lawyers/outside woman as he was cc'd onto the mail.

Unfortunately this has really impacted dp's mental health which I must admit, up till now has never been an issue. I've been going out with him for 5 years now and never seen him like this. He told me he had spoken to a lawyer and all was in hand but I know this isn't true. He's now lying to me about it as he's so ashamed that he can't stand up for himself. I heard the CEO call him yesterday - I wasn't due to work from home but i happened to be there - and basically butter him up. Promise him promotions and all sorts. He's doing this because he knows how much shit he could be in if dp pushed and exposed the fact that the CEO blatantly made this up and involved outside parties when he shouldn't have done. Dp needs to stand up to him but he can't.

I'm going to bow out of giving him advice now and just let him get on with it but i suspect that it will come at a great price to dp but there is nothing I can do now other than be there for him when it all inevitably falls apart!

@Fibonacci13 I feel for you and your DH. Please try to get your DH to see a GP, such a rapid decline in mental health can be a concern.

echoing the calls to lawyer up.
DP should also gather the evidence of what the CFO was saying (backing up his claims of the 2 areas that aren't working and an organigram of those teams)

I think he should stop talking to HR about it - it is clear the CEO was being an arse and venting and spoke in anger and error (for that he needs to issue a correction, like in the papers, in the same manner to the same audience) but let the lawyer handle that. It may be possible for DP and CEO to emerge from this with their dignity, if not the working relationship, intact. Part of the apology should be a written reference that DP is excellent, successful and effective etc. Just in case.

Then look for new work.

there's no trade union - it's a private company.

i am going to start a thread here. Anyone, EVERYONE, is entitled to join a trade union that covers their industry. EVERYONE

The only difference not having a trade union recognised in the workplace means is that you don't get to have block salary negotiations etc. But a trade union can provide you with excellent legal expertise. They know what they're doing. I've never been in a job with a recognised union (except when working for a Chinese company, but only the factory employees were in a union). But the Union have helped me negotiate and navigate issues at work that i would have either had to fork out serious cash for (for a lawyer) or suck up (and be fired illegally in one case).

It is worth the dues.

Honestly if it’s a private American company and the CEO is a founder he’s not going to have much recourse. A lawyer might help but it would be messy.

I totally agree 1000% but....

I must also agree with @AliceOlive .... assuming he is employed within UK jurisdiction (and we don't know whether he is an employee or not) that is scant protection against a US employer. Even if there is a legal case to answer, and even if he won that legal case, I suspect it will be nigh on impossible to enforce any judgement. This is what commonly happens with any UK employees with overseas employers. And as for the CEO thinking he can act like Elon Musk - there is a reason that Elon Musk can act like he does. It isn't (just) because he is a bd employer. It is because he is a b*d employer in the USA. There are few employment rights in the USA and certainly nothing remotely like UK rights. So the bottom line is that he almost certainly can do what the hell he wants, and he almost certainly will get away with it. Sorry, but that's what any decent lawyer would tell you - it would be a total waste of money to try to take legal action. If he has spoken to one, that is almost certainly what they told him. Which may be why he's saying that it's "in hand" - he trying to stop you worrying, Concentrate on him getting a new job. If he is good at what he does it will take an effort if he feeling down about all this, but whilst his age might count against him with some, others will see his experience and skills.

assuming he is employed within UK jurisdiction (and we don't know whether he is an employee or not) that is scant protection against a US employer.

it's not about being able to force the employer to do something, though. At this stage it is about geting good, solid advice about the legalities (under British law if that is the jurisdiction of the contract, other if not) of what the CEO has done, and how best for the DP to tackle it.

TBH in this scenario? It is all about a good solid exit strategy. A Union lawyer, or good union rep will know far better what the DP can suggest/ask for/demand than someone who has never been in this scenario before.

@Fibonacci13 don't dismiss HR as they quite often act as mediators in this type of situation.

A managed exit maybe the best option. Again prompt legal advice is paramount.