Not coping at work - please help

[Andi25693]

(Have name changed for this as have spoken to friends in real life about this situation)

I am middle management level in a public sector environment. We have had a lot of problems with retention and recruitment and at the moment I am covering three empty full-time admin type-posts from my much depleted team, as well as trying to do my own job.

The stress of overwork and constant office demands is literally making me ill. I feel completely burnt out, tearful and often unable to cope with anything going on at home. I have had panic attacks, bowel symptoms and a couple of self-certified periods of time off (a few days) - and have cried at work so my manager knows that I'm struggling mentally but no one has done anything to alleviate my workload - any time I take off just compounds the problem.

A colleague suggested getting signed off by my GP for an extended period but everything will get left while I'm off and I'll go back to an even bigger and more overwhelming backlog Also, we are also in the middle of a loft conversion so home is not a restful place to be right now - in some ways it's easier to be out at work.

I saw a counsellor a couple of times through work (self referred) and she was going to speak to my boss about mitigations but she's now gone off on long term sick due to stress, so that has all ground to a halt.

It's a community health related environment and we're all about taking mental health seriously, but they are completely disinterested in mine. I feel desperate and see no light at the end of the tunnel. They just want to work me til I collapse.

My advice would be to ask for a referral to occupational health? Their input should wake your managers up to things needing to change and put in mitigations for you. Unsustainable workloads can't just be ignored. I would also encourage you to involve HR if needs be. I know you're worrying about backlog if you got signed off, but really, your wellbeing comes before work and it isn't your responsibility to solve the problem higher management face if you are signed off.
I was signed off for 2 months last year due to stress and I didn't come back to high backlog, the team had to cope without me. Sorry this is all so shit right now.

@Andi25693 you are too emotionally invested and it's making you anxious and ill.

If you go to your work and take a step back by NOT doing everything, by letting some of the tasks not get done then not only will your employer HAVE to hire more staff, you will also benefit by not being overburdened.

You are doing it all because you think no one else will and you have to. You don't.

Go see your GP and get some anti anxiety meds first. These will help you get back to a base line level of being able to function without all the physical symptoms also overwhelming you.

Then, at work have a sit down with your Manager and make sure you back that up via email by saying you cannot continue with the extreme work load you have, it is making you ill. Agree with your Manager on what essential tasks you will manage short term until someone else is hired and ONLY concentrate on the essentials. I'd also ask for them to refer you to occupational health but in private sector there most often isn't anything like this in place.

The rest will be on your Manager. They are the one paid to take up the slack but you are doing it for them. Step back.

Remember, worst case scenario is they sack you. But you'll end up quitting anyway if this continues so you have NOTHING to lose by looking after yourself first and sticking to your own role with only a few extra essential tasks.

Let some of those plates you are spinning fall.

Think of it this way - why would your boss rush to hire new staff when you are so willing and able to do all the extras? They'll just tell you they are hiring while leaving you to do it all.

You are 100%b replaceable to them. So stop harming yourself to keep them afloat when they'd throw you overboard in a heartbeat.

First of all a referral to occupational health. Your job is directly impacting your physical and mental health.
A completely open and honest conversation with your manager about the fact that you at breaking point and can no longer function with the unreasonable workload and unrealistic expectations.
It may also be worth speaking with your union.
Do you have "job plans" for your role? That would show what the expectation are for you (such as x meeting a week, x time on admin x on supervision etc). From that you can demonstrate how much over that you are having to manage. If not, doing your own mini time in motion study of all your tasks in a week, the time they take, so you have absolute concrete evidence that you cannot continue as you are.
It sounds bloody awful OP and I actually think extended sick leave sounds reasonable. You'd then need to have a phased return supported by Occ health which would help to identify a completely unrealistic workload.
Good luck

Why is it you covering 3 additional posts? Have you actually been delegated this extra work, or taken it up yourself?
Surely it is for your manager ( or their manager even) to deal with the extra work.
Focus on your actual job, and set up a meeting with management and tell them what you are able to do. For example, you'll give them 2 hours a week/day covering other work if , and only if, you have completed your own work. Don't assume you have to do it all because no one else is, I can't see how it can possibly all be your sole responsibility. You need to get tough. You could present it as their problem, as in " in my 8 hour day, what would you like me to prioritise, as I cannot do it all and my health precludes me from doing overtime."
If you do all the extra but complain about it , they will take it that you can actually manage to do it all, but just don't want to. You have to actually stop doing it and pass the buck back to them.

I would email and explain that you cannot do x, y and z tasks.

You are not being paid to do three jobs. You cannot be expected to cope.

Bless you. I am in a similar situation and it can be very trying. If more work is given to me on top of everything, I say something along the lines of "I am happy to assist with this if I can, but I am already covering W, X, Y, Z and 123 - which of these would it be OK for me to set aside in order to deal with ABC?" (as a PP suggests above).

You need to be clear what you can and cannot do. Just do your best and be transparent about it. Sometimes, if you seem to be coping on the surface and things aren't getting missed, then management don't look into it and assume that you're fine. There might have to be a bit of a crisis before things get better, but please make sure that the crisis is not your mental health/wellbeing.

It might help to compile a list of all the things you actually do to take to management. Just to see if there are items on your list that can be shared among others, or if they need to hire you an assistant. My list currently runs to about 22 A4 pages, but I am a lot stronger about constructively saying "no, I'm sorry but I don't have capacity to take on XYZ unless someone else can step in with ABCD".

It might also (and I appreciate that you shouldn't have to do this) be worth keeping a sort of work diary of what you've done each day. Then, if something is 'dropped' for whatever reason and a weasel-manager sticks their oar in for a go at you, you can say "well, here is what I have been doing every day. For future reference, what should I have dropped in order to accommodate this?"

I know it's easier said than done but do try to just stick with what you can manage, finish on time and look after yourself outside of work. This should be the managers' problem to solve if they are understaffed, and not another burden on your hard-working shoulders. They are lucky to have you and I hope they realise this.

Very best wishes to you.

You are a manager, so to an extent this is your problem to deal with, but that doesn't mean literally doing all the work. However, sorry to say it but at your level it also doesn't mean just dropping it on your manager and saying you can't do it.

Try this:
Block out two days in your diary next week.
In that time, put together a list of every task you are expected to cover.
Prioritise this list, then consider which team members, or even other teams could (or could be asked to) cover priority tasks. Don't be afraid to delegate and potentially make yourself unpopular (within reason, obviously don't overload your remaining staff so much that no one can cope).
Look at what is left and decide which tasks you yourself have enough capacity to pick up.
Put in any plans or suggestions you can think of that would enable you to start picking up the leftover tasks that you are simply unable to do at the moment - agency staff? Reduced contacts? Overtime or secondment for any staff that want it?
Set this out in a plan and present it to your manager, clearly explaining which tasks will not be completed in the time available to you/your team.

It might mean that you can't deliver certain services that are deemed essential, but then that problem actually is for those higher up, strategic managers to solve.

I have been in a similar position and ended up getting signed off sick. It was a hard decision to make I knew that my being off sick would impact on other team members and so many long term complex things were with me, that's probably what made me hang on so long. But in the end it was the right thing for me to do (granted I wasn't surrounded by building work), I handed over all of the important things that would need to be covered or might come up while I was off to my manager and it was then up to them to redistribute them while I was off.