Enough to be sick with stress?

[OnTheGoAlways]

I hope to reach out and see if others have similar experiences I can draw from. I'll be brief.

I have a masters degree in my career subject, have 3 years experience in an enty level.I started in an org in August 2022. During the interview, I was honest about my reasons for leaving my current post, namely my DS2 (8) has additional needs, he's been excluded twice, on CAHMS wait list for 115 weeks, tics, very low self esteem, anxious, excluded from after school care, police report raised against him. I know it sounds contradictory but he is genuinely the most kind, considerate, funny and loving boy tk me 90% of the time, but school is another story. My new role was 90% WFH and part time hours sk was much more suitable.

My son has just been excluded again and going back on a reduced time table and I am funding and ferrying him to a private outdoor school on a Tuesday afternoon.

I was promoted in January, and things have just got worse at home since, we are also moving.

I shake with anxiety, feel sick, stomach ache, headache, not sleeping, can't make decisions, making lots of mistakes. I already had 2 days off, I feel shit about the whole thing. Does this warrant sign off, even two days might help me breath.

Yes it does.

Go to the doctor and take good care of yourself x

I am so sorry you are going through this. Can you get yourself a dr appointment - their view may help you work out how to look after yourself?

For two days, can't you self certify? Though I understand the relief of being "told" to stay off. I thought most jobs you could self certify for up to a week before needing a doctors note. Also, there is the option of taking unpaid parental leave though you have to apply for that in advance I believe.
congratulations on your promotion by the way, you are doing well.

If you only need a couple of days you don’t need to get signed off.

Hope you get the support for your son you need ❤️

You can call in sick and self certify for 5 days, any longer would need a sick note from the GP. Hopefully it will help to have a few days off.

Self certify at this stage

Thank you so much for your replies.

My new line manager is much less understanding and I don't really know what I'm doing in my new role. She got very short with me last week but honestly I understand I must be a total let down.

I initially increased my hours for new role, but I have requested a statutory change to reduce them again. I just cannot reconcile work with caring and fighting for my son. I also have another son who is 12 and going through preteen moments, and I am on my own.

I can self certify, but I want someone to tell me to be off, I would almost like it if I broke a leg or had a mild car accident so I could just get a break. I know how incredibly silly and selfish that sounds but I just cannot breath properly.

I'm also very worried about my children and their future.

It's ok to say the promotion isn't for you. Maybe you need to look for a less stressful job right now.

@Fluffodils youre right, my previous post has been backfilled, but if I had the chance I would go back in a flash. I'm in no position right now for a promotion, I can handle the work when I'm told what I'm doing and can almost enjoy it (project based), but my previous roles I knew the work well and knew exactly what was expected of me. I wish I'd never taken this new role.

If you are able to keep the job, it will carry you through after your dc are older and (eventually!) need you less. Also (as a parent or a child with ADHD) it's likely you might need to pay for private medication or counselling to support your son and your family. You will be waiting for CAHMS for a long time.
I am quite good at compartmentalising so my issues at home stay there while I'm working (and then are waiting for me!) but it sounds harder for you as you are working from home and your child is at home with you too while excluded. You need (I'm sure you already are) to push for everything the school can do for him.
I do think a few days to catch your breath would be a good start. Your GP will sign you off for weeks rather than days, I suspect. But why not make an appointment? Even if you phone in sick saying you are waiting for your appointment on X day.