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Original poster

Serious work anxiety after mistake

9 replies

Lilypad29 · 23/03/2023 23:35

Hi - I need a place to put down my worries so I thought Mumsnet might help.
I have made a mistake at work that could be serious. I feel physically ill, shaky, confused and super stressed.
The past 2 years I have been suffering with my health and with this work issue on top I feel so overwhelmed and unwell. I've lost all my work confidence and feel out of my depth.
I have confided in my husband who supports whether I want to leave the job with or without a new job to go. The reality of me not having a income is very scary.
I feel so distracted at home as my mind is permanently worrying about the job and of the mistake will be discovered. I feel irritated with my DD and I'm not giving her or my husband the attention they need.
Does anyone have any advice for when everything feels like it's going wrong??

OP posts:

Findyourneutralspace · 23/03/2023 23:41

This is a horrible feeling and without knowing the mistake it’s hard to advise. What I would say is that it’s better to come clean and speak to your line manager, or whoever would be the right person. It rarely helps to hide from these things.
If it is something that can be put right, I’d take steps to do that, but everyone makes an honest mistake on occasion. The important thing is to understand how it happened and prevent it happening again.

Runnerduck34 · 23/03/2023 23:41

Oh OP, didn't want to read and run.
Everyone makes mistakes, it may not be a serious as you fear and everything seems worse at night , especially when you are overthinking.
Often when I'm worried about something it usually turns out to be not as bad as I feared.
It sounds like your husband is very supportive.
Are you getting any help with your health issues and anxiety?
It sounds like you are overwhelmed and perhaps a week or two off work to reset maybe what you need. Don't beat yourself up you are only human

Bebabelouba · 23/03/2023 23:44

Is it possible that if your emotional/ mental health was better you may feel differently about the mistake?

Possibly you are ruminating on it, which is causing your perspective to get out of kilter?

My advice would be to try and take some time to get some balance back in your life.

Also perhaps look at some of Brene Browns stuff around perfectionism.
Take care

Hawkins003 · 23/03/2023 23:53

Lilypad29 · 23/03/2023 23:35

Assume the worse case possibilities, plan for those, as best as, then hope for the best and try to suppress your emotions as best as possible

blueshoes · 24/03/2023 00:22

l don't know what the mistake is and so this may not be the best advice. I work in legal and risk. We advise people that making mistakes is human and there is a good chance that it can be fixed or mitigated if reported early. What is worse than the actual mistake itself is to conceal it. That prevents it from getting fixed and could get the company in a whole lot of trouble.

As what Findyourneutralspace said, I'd give serious thought to sharing it with your manager and framing it as finding a solution and learning from mistakes. A problem shared is a problem halved and will cut the demon down in size. Maybe your manager may not think it is so bad after all and help stop your anxiety and sweats. At least you are putting it behind you, trying to solve it and moving forward.

There are not many things which will allow the company to summarily dismiss you so even if they wanted to get rid of you in the worst case scenario, there is still a procedure to be followed. If you are planning on leaving, you can use this time to prepare.

Please don't bury. It will eat you up inside.

blueshoes · 24/03/2023 00:24

PS it is going to be ok

Angelonthewall · 24/03/2023 07:58

To echo everyone else - we all make mistakes - at every level in an organisation and every ability. You need to be brave and share your mistake with your manager, it will allow them to start fixing the issue but more importantly for you to feel better because it’s the secrecy that doing a lot of the damage to your head. Take care xx

Dogsitterwoes · 27/03/2023 13:08

Talk to your line manager about your error. There's very little that can't be fixed if it's dealt with early enough. I've made a couple of huge potentially very serious mistakes in my career and my managers were very understanding.

Keeping quiet or attempting to cover it up, that is an even bigger mistake, and likely to get you in big trouble.

ReallyShouldBeDoingSomethingElse · 27/03/2023 13:23

Whether you plan to stay or leave your job, I can only think that the best thing for you in the long run is to speak to your manager ASAP about the mistake.
You may need to be very brave to do that but I know I couldn't continue happily knowing I'd done something significant and not informed people who needed to know.

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