Husband is ill and being treated badly

[Hopedun]

H has worked for his large multinational company for over 10 years. He has a role which I don't really understand but spends a lot of time doing calls and coaching to other staff in offices across the UK. He is the only one with his role in his site although there are 3 others across the UK.

He has stage 3 chronic kidney disease. His kidney function greatly improved to around 48% when everyone was told to WFH and his blood pressure which is very high also fell to normal levels. His high blood pressure is because of his CKD, he is on medication because of it.

His boss told him she expected him to be in the office three days a week last year so he started travelling in. In traffic this can take up to 90 minutes each way. He feels absolutely dreadful after doing this. Public transport would take even longer, over 2 hours so it isn't an option. This is all so he can sit on Teams calls to speak to people in other offices, in an office alone.

The hospital see him regularly and said his kidney function had fallen in six months to 23%. He can only put this down to the travelling. He asked for an occupational health referral and the doctor said in the report that he should not be required to attend the office weekly or even monthly. They should leave it to him to come in when he's well enough and his travel to work as well as having multiple tasks dumped on him was severely affecting his health.

He suffers with brain fog due to his condition and needs a bit of down time between leading calls and meetings so that he can get his focus back. His boss books him in for back to bag meetings which he can't cope with anymore.

He still had not had a meeting with his boss to discuss the findings of the OHS referral five weeks on so in his performance review last week, he asked if she had read and she said she had seen the email but hadn't opened it! He then spoke to his union rep who told him to book a meeting about it in her calendar which he has done.

During the performance review she said she was only marking him with a 2 instead of his usual top marking. He asked why as his is top site in the UK and he hits all performance indicators and she said he was not visible enough in the office.

Once his kidney function drops to 10% he will be extremely ill and needing dialysis. His doctors want him to avoid this for as long as possible as he is only early 40s.

Amy advice please? Sorry it's so long.

WHS? Safety team?

If he hasn't already your DH should summarise the conversation had in performance review, neutrally, and send it back to his boss as a record.
I'd suggest also noting the date of the HR meeting and ask that boss commits to reading the OH report by x date.

@Whataretheodds this is a great idea thanks.

A HR professional would be stepping in and advising the manager this is clear disability discrimination and they must follow the OH report to the letter. Plus they must make a reasonable adjustment to performance management criteria that being visible in the office is not required.

Why, managing risk including the damage to employers reputation if this went to ET and £££.

@Hopedun I get your DHs reluctance, but he is doing the sensible thing taking his TU rep.

Words such as “disability discrimination” will have an impact along with “Health and Safety duty of care”.

As DH has successfully worked from home for a significant period and there is a direct correlation between the decline in Kidney function and commuting, his managers requirement to attend the office is knowingly damaging his health. It is the same as removing a safety guard on a machine that then amputates an employees finger.

He needs to reapply for PIP because they turn everyone down at first! Go for mandatory reconsideration then a tribunal…they will back track because it’s costly for them to go to tribunal . It’s a hard slog though, good luck!

@Hopedun I agree about re-applying PIp, what he needs to do is explain the impact on his worst days.

I told him to take the union rep in the meeting with her but he said that was too confrontational

got this far and had to comment.OMFG finally someone with a work issue who is actually in a flipping union AND WON'T USE THEM.

Your OH needs to get wise to the fact that the company are trying to edge him out. Why is he paying union dues if HE WON'T USE THEM.

arghh. Sorry, OP. But get onto him about this. It is his health here, not just some stupid job issue

I know he sounds ridiculous but he really does value his job and hates that his health might make it seem like he needs adjustments. He thinks he should just be able to get on with it without kicking up a fuss. It's just his personality. He's actually never been off sick. If he's feeling ill, he'll wfh and manage from bed.

He will reapply for PIP or appeal, I'm not sure what stage it's at but he doesn't really hit the Pip indicators. He can make a meal physically but it will exhaust him. I just get him to focus on his job and I do everything else, all housework, cooking childcare etc. He couldn't work and do other life tasks so I try and make his life easy enough so he can conserve energy.

@Hopedun I feel for you and your husband. He sounds like a decent man but at some point he has to grasp that his manager (not necessarily his employer) is potentially permanently damaging his health and that if he doesn’t say something now to be treated fairly the long term implications could be devastating for you both.

“He can make a meal physically but it will exhaust him.”
On a Friday night having commuted to work all week can he physically make a nutritious meal? Just because he can some days is not relevant, if he can’t do it everyday then the answer is no.

If your husband doesn’t prioritise his health, his employer certainly won’t, and will drop him as quickly as they can once he becomes too ill. I’m sorry to be blunt, but I think he might need to hear some hard truths on this one.

Loyalty to a company, hard work, and being a decent person, is rarely rewarded. Having worked through three redundancies I saw others let go who had made significant sacrifices for their jobs.

I know he sounds ridiculous but he really does value his job and hates that his health might make it seem like he needs adjustments. He thinks he should just be able to get on with it without kicking up a fuss. It's just his personality. He's actually never been off sick. If he's feeling ill, he'll wfh and manage from bed.

that's not a positive thing. If you don't need his money, let him get on with it. If this were my DH i would be making it VERY clear that this kind of idiocy doesn't wash with me. FFS, he's in a Union. I spend a lot of time on here on threads with people with arsehole bosses saying "are you in a union? oh. Well next chance you get, join a union"

His regular boss isn't there - he needs to fight to keep this job that he really does value instead of passively getting managed out of it.

Harsh words? yes. this is a harsh situation. He does need adjustments. He applied for PIP so he knows he needs help. It's infuriating!

Reading this is incredibly upsetting.

As people have said, time to get over this manager's head.

Your husband should contact HR and raise a grievance.

They should be making reasonable adjustment to help him continue to work through his illness. Not make him sicker...

They need to be reminded of their duty of care.

Also, health is more important than any jobs.

If I were your husband I would consider going off sick while he continues treatment and then considering taking legal action for disability discrimination and forcing him out of the job against the employer if this nonsense continues.

The situation is beyond bad. I am shocked for you both that something as serious as this could be treated with such a cavalier attitude/ruthless disregard. Bloody hell. I wonder if the nicer boss could be contacted, if they have a positive relationship, might she have some off the record advice about who else he could involve in this other bosses disgusting approach I wonder?

He needs the union rep to step up and deal

But his job is causing him health issues and he does needs adjustments in order to continue working there. I know it can be hard to accept, but for the sake of both his job (he isn't going to be able to commute anyway if he ends up on dialysis) and for his health he needs to first accept it and then take steps to address it. Going to the union means he can get some support with this, honestly it's not noble to just keep carrying on so as to not rock the boat, it's dangerous.

It's worth revising the PIP application, as has been said though it's to cover additional support/things someone needs in place to manage their illness so it's important to outline what these are rather than just emphasis how ill they are.

I understand OP I really do. But, although he hates it, it is what it is. The concept of reasonable adjustments is there to protect and support him.

he really needs to swallow his pride, context HR, get the union involved, and raise a grievance.

But he does need adjustments @Hopedun

at the moment it seems then that he wants the adjustments without actually be honest about needing them. She hasn’t opened it because he is downplaying the seriousness

I really agree with reasonable adjustment request as a first port of call. This isn't flexible working, which the boss could refuse on grounds she believes the job needs to be done onsite (regardless of perf outcomes); it's medical. Get hr involved to make them aware of the disability angle.

Lawyers as a next step but in the first instance document your requests for the above. Then use it as evidence later if needed if it doesn't go your way.

also HR really need to give some consequences to her for not opening the OT email. That should really be escalated as her not doing her job properly.

Some managers don't understand that once they are managers they have work responsibilities alongside that they have people responsibilities. To be fair a lot of workplaces don't give them the training or time - but they must step up. That part alone is well worth escalating.

Good luck to your DH, OP, it is really difficult to accept, sometimes, that we have to make adjustments, or ask for adjustments, because of issues we have that we can't control. Your DH needs to accept this and always listen to his union rep here.

Thanks everyone. I'll update you after his meeting with his boss today.

HR here, I'd be looking at raising a grievance and he may also wish to submit a flexible working request.
He should be protected under the equality act so if there's no business need for him to have a presence in the office they're discriminating against him.

@Hopedun

The union have said if she doesn't implement the changes OHS have recommended then he needs to raise a grievance against her. I told him to take the union rep in the meeting with her but he said that was too confrontational.

The person who has made the situation confrontational is his boss, who has behaved unprofessionally and possibly illegally. It's great he is a union member and should definitely make use of his union membership by having a union representative at the next meeting with boss/HR. Possibly look at getting advice from ACAS as well (google them). Also check your house insurance policy to see if you have the option for legal assistance there too. Hope this can be resolved quickly and in your husband's favour OP. 🌹

So he had his meeting with his boss and she had left it so long to discuss the OH report that it had actually expired and disappeared 😐. Luckily he had screenshot the important parts and she has agreed to flexible working for him and for him to work fewer days in the office. He then sent her back a summary of what was discussed so it was in writing.
Good result I think.

If work is causing this much damage to his health then he should leave. You only get one life, why would you risk your health with something so serious for a job? Sure financially it's going to be tough but keeping his kidneys working so he doesn't die is more important. His work are being unreasonable but they would replace him in a heartbeat.