to quit my job or use my sick leave

[Ana19755]

Hi
I returned to work part-time remotely during the pandemic. I had a new male manager that was very detailed and strict. He was constantly criticizing my work. I had covid and started to suffer from early menopause symptoms (fatigue, migraines, acne), although my GP ignored me. Finally, after 1000 blood tests, a private consultant told me I was on the menopausal borderline at 43.
My manager gave me many tasks during Christmas, and I did my best to tackle them before the deadline.
My husband had an accident, and again I missed my period, and server anxiety that I had never experienced kicked in. Suddenly I was worried sick about my parents living abroad and thinking about death for a week.
I feel a bit better now after taking herbal medicine, and my parent-in-law came to help from abroad even though they are very old to travel.
After taking annual leave, I came back, and my manager put me on a performance plan and revealed he was leaving, and he was actively applying for a new job. I never had a performance problem during my five years of service.
I feel the job became more demanding. My performance is better than few years ago that my child was not sleeping. I think they have very high expectation,
Financially I think it is difficult to quit (London flat mortgage.), and also, with my low confidence and menopause symptoms, I cannot go for a job interview. Last year I attended a few interviews, but I felt exhausted and low mood afterward. I am very busy at work and do not have free time to prepare and go for an interview.

My workload has increased since I joined, but my work never hired someone for job share after returning part-time.
Should I quit or take a few weeks sick leave and look for a new job?

Gosh so much going on here, seems like you might want to walk, but as your boss is leaving I take it that you will have a new boss, maybe sit down with new boss and have a chat about your way forwards in the company. Sometimes talking to your manager is the right thing. Managers (bosses) are there to manage people and get best from them by making sure that their staff are priductive and happy and engaged with their role. Give it a go.......

I think you'll have the same problem in any job. You have an unusually long list of excuses here. You work part time but say:

You are exhausted after interviews and had 'low mood'
You weren't working effectively in the past as your child wasn't sleeping
You had Covid (for how long??)
Early menopause
You husband had an accident
You missed a period (?)
You were thinking about death for a week

Honestly I'm surprised it took 5 years for you to be on a PIP. In the kindest possible way I'd suggest you focus on improving your productivity.

Are you treating your peri menopausal symptoms? They will be the same regardless of what job you go for. I wouldnt quit or go sick as yet, talk to the new manager about your job description and how things have changed

Wow @LondonMummer harsh.

If you look at my posting history you'll see I never pile on in threads but aside from menopausal symptoms (and I've been there myself so am not being flippant) there really are a lot of strange excuses here for what sounds like ongoing performance issues in a part time role - acne, missing a period, child not sleeping...

Realistically no potential employer would make allowances for these things.

I was Mrs resilient. Then I hit the menopause early, my DM developed dementia, my Teens were being teens and a work reorganisation landed me with a boss I didn't get on with.

Thanks to life, lack of sleep and brain fog, Mrs Resilient very quickly became Mrs couldn't cope.

I ended up leaving work and regret it. I was prescribed anti-depressants, when I should have been offered HRT and it took 5 years to get back to work at a decent salary again.

So my advice is don't be me. See if HRT is for you and try to look after your health & wellbeing without pressing the ejector seat button. If you still end up looking for a new job, at least you will have the opportunity to do it from a place of calm.

Op, hang in there if you can - does he actually have a job yet?

My bitch LM left after making my life a misery. Things are immeasurably improved now.

When does your boss leave? I’d hang in there until you have a new manager and talk things through with them rather than quit at this point.

Are you getting treatment for the menopause now? Have you seen your GP about your other symptoms, would you consider non herbal medicine if it made you feel better?

Don't quit!! Take as much sick leave as you are entitled to and use the time to get your hrt right, even if that takes months. And HR will have to make accommodations-menopause isn't a disability but discrimination arising from it can be age or gender related...

Don't quit!!! 🙏🏻❤️ xx

do not know. Last time I asked my GP to prescribe HRT but she said she was not sure it would help and still I had period and not menopause until one year without.

thanks

Would you have a mirena?

I got a mirena, originally for heavy peri periods but dr said its used as HRT now

I spontaneously packed in two jobs which I loved due to issues with managers and looking back I think it was all menopause related. I had anxiety, just couldn't cope and felt so irritated by work collegues and what I saw as lack of good management. I started a new job last year, started HRT and the turnaround has been amazing. I have not had one bout of tears in this latest job and whilst it is stressful I can cope with it. I think workplaces are taking menopause into consideration more. This time last year I walked out of a job and it took a few months to find a new one but I could do it at my own pace until the right one came along.

Talk to your Dr about perimenopause your symptoms sound like mine. I was ten years before I got HRT I'm still tweaking it but I am returning to normal.

thanks. I work 4 days paid job plus most of the chores and childcare because my husband is working 60, 70 hours per week since he started a startup (not an excuse). In the last 4 years we had a tough time financially and physically. I have 2 master's degrees, studied one of them when I was pregnant. I worked really hard to manage to live in the UK. I think I need a less demanding job. I know lots of women around me quit their job after having a child.

The one year post periods thing is out of date. If you have symptoms you could benefit. If you were over 45 you wouldn't even need blood tests in the UK.

Because you are on the young side, if it is perimenopause I would strongly advise looking at your options carefully. Dr Hannah Short posts some good stuff on social media.