Which job would you do.

[whatisforteamum]

The end of 2022 I decided to leave a job I previously loved.
Money wasn't good I couldn't see dh as I worked every weekend so with some sadness I left for a mon to Fri role.
Tbh I knew it would be an adjustment of hours and less rewarding with a work life balance.
Two of my direct colleagues have either completely ignored me gossips about me or tried to make me leave.
My new boss told me they hate me yet she wanted me to stay.
She is professional yet I see her gossiping too and has become close to the other 2.
Everyone else is fantastic on site.

However my old place messaged a couple of times I'm welcome to go back and the money has gone up.
I was valued and treated so well there with my boss knowing me for many years.Loads of the team wished me well when I left even agency staff contacted me.
Not sure what to do.A stick out great hrs with an unsettling undercurrent and gossip.
Or B back to the place I was more than welcome with unsociable hours.

Do whichever will make you more happy.

OP, I know from bitter experience how awful just two people can make your working life. I left a new role recently with no job to go to for very similar reasons. I tried to hang on as had massive support from the rest of the team but my mental health just plummeted. It wasn’t worth it as I’m still suffering the effects, however, I know with time and a better working environment I will recover.

If you stay I doubt it will get better and it will begin to bleed into your time away from work so the additional time you’ve gained with your family will actually be tainted by the negativity you’re experiencing at work.

Perhaps you can return to your old job, on the new improved salary, and negotiate a bit of a better work life balance as they seem incredibly keen to have you back. If there is no negotiation possible on the work life balance at least it’d be a safe space to regroup and search again for another role that will give that to you but I’d definitely be looking to get away from your current situation.

It’s a tough decision but I’d think very seriously as, in my experience, it doesn’t get better. Sending you a big hug and wishing you the very best of luck.

Job B want you back. See if you can negotiate the same money you are on now with fewer weekends. Tell them no weekends, every other weekend or the odd weekend is what you want. Tell them your current set up works for you better in terms of pay and when you work. No need to them how unhappy you are. It will just give them leverage to not negotiate.

Always choose happiness.

Thank you for the replies.
Honestly I feel heard for once.On paper the mon to Fri sounds fantastic a dream job in my industry.
I woke up this morning before I got on here thinking being valued over being essentially bullied is worth it's weight in gold.
I can see why someone else only lasted so few months as the manager.
I agree it colours my view of myself and not telling my old place will strengthen my position.I lwill have to do less than I was for sure there.
Newbieposter sorry you have had this too.I sincerely hope a new opportunity comes soon.This is my first time feeling like this.
I feel like several months is long enough to break the ice and all the other people chat and are so lovely which I've tried to focus on .Gossip is so detrimental and being spoken down to.

The gossip, bitching and bullying will eat away at you and make life miserable. It wont change either, esp if the boss is doing it!

Could you negotiate less or no weekends in the previous job? I would return to that. IF they could only offer weekends, I'd still return whilst looking for something else.

I returned to a job almost 18mths after leaving. Different circumstances, and I was reluctant to return, but it was the best thing I did. Within months I was promoted and stayed there 8yrs.

The gossiping and bullying won't improve. It will probably get worse. Listen to the messages you are receiving on this.

Feeling valued and wanted is a wonderful feeling and makes for an easier life.

Working 2 12 hr days is the norm so that is why I left after 6 yrs.
I had hoped the ostracism would improve.The boss who is new didn't hire me and yes does seem to have sadly joined the clique as the others threatened to leave and she needs them on board as she is new and learning the systems.
All gossiping by the coffee machine most days this week as soon as I approach silence.My old job said they would have me back in a heart beat .
Bigger team and got on well with everyone there the majority of the time.

2 12hr days at the weekend.*

I'd leave and go back to the job that you love, for the sake of your own health and peace of mind. Even if that means that you are job hunting for another job with better hours, in the meantime.

Years and years ago, I worked in a place where there was a bully (who was in the pocket of the manager). She made life hell for people. Over the years, seven people left because of her. She bullied me to the point that I would lay awake at night, feeling sick about going in to work the next day. I ended up leaving and going to a job that was on a far lower salary. A step down yes, but worth it as new colleagues were good and decent people. The current place I work (been here for years) is amazing, and my colleagues are wonderful. It really does make all the difference.

TicTac80 sorry to hear about your experience. Normally I would expect one person to be less friendly.We can't like everyone after all.I think it has been handled so badly too by management who should integrate teams I ways tried to and an agency staff member thanked me when I left and contacted me to see how I was doing.

@whatisforteamum definitely choose happiness. Two colleagues plus a manager who is in a clique with them is a very hard dynamic.

Would your old work give you the option of weekends off, or at least reduced weekends. Maybe one a month?

Good advice thank you.

@whatisforteamum thank you so much for your good wishes, that’s very kind of you. A new opportunity (well almost two, one very firm have contract and another where apparently they want to make an offer) has arisen and I’ve accepted. Slightly less than my previous negative role but it’s in an area I’ve wanted to work in for a while and I had a very good vibe at every stage. There also seems to be room to progress. Hopefully it’ll be the right environment to rebuild and grow from strength to strength.

I understand how utterly shell shocked you must be feeling. You’ve given it a few months to see if things will change. You’ve received some really good advice here and not one poster, thus far, is advising you languish in this toxic cesspit a minute longer when you have a safe place to go back to.

Choose you, OP. Choose you.

Go back before your self-esteem is completely eroded.

I’d go back to B while seeking C - better hours but without the toxic environment.

I just bumped into a part timer from my old job.She was so positive and chatty I realise that it isn't me.I realised how welcoming people can be.One even hugged me when she saw me at Xmas.
I've tried to shoulder the blame for being too much ,or anything that makes it my fault.Ive tried to shrink myself basically.
This has helped my MH no end.
Thank you all.X

Have you contacted your old boss yet op?

NCTDN I'm going there Monday as I have a day off.
I felt unwell this week and my managers boss even mentioned my demeanour had changed.
Meanwhile I was faking positive vibes the rest of the week to see if there was any way of changing the status quo with better weather here after a truly bleak winter .The boss has befriended the other two.Im on the outside so I guess I have my answer.

So a quick update.
It was lovely to see happy welcoming faces.
I saw my old boss and manager who offered fractionally more money than my new job.(a lot more than I was on when I left)
Better hours 4 days not 5 x 12 hrs
Less responsibility as we agree I was over promoted.
Downside working week ends off sun off.
The toxicity is still at my new easier job but I let it roll off me more as the eves off are lighter and sunny and I have a new interesting project at work.
I'm still ostracized though for the most part.Still treated like an outsider.
So this week I'm deciding.
Forgot to mention old job is over 7 k more as few more hours.

*odd Sunday off I mean.